Aspergers is not an excuse.

Post Reply New Topic

. I was also told to stop using my condition as an excuse by a professor in college (I filed a discrimination complaint). I!

Were you registered with your College's disability unit? normally academic staff would need to be aware of your disability status beforehand. Otherwise he might have thought you were fabricating to get an extension for an assignment.

I'm glad for you that you have been successful in life. However, please do not preach at other members and tell them that they should do the same as you and get a job, etc.

If you had titled your post "some good news" or "my personal life is looking up" I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. But you have chosen to come on here and preach at a group of struggling people and tell them that their disability is not an "excuse" citing your own personal success as a justification for urging others to follow your example.

I take issue with that, because autism is a spectrum. It does not affect all people in the same way.

Just because you were able to achieve your life goals doesn't mean that all other autistic people will be able to. We are all different with different levels of functioning and different abilities or lack thereof. You have no idea what trials other people face, nor are you aware of their life circumstances nor the specific ways their autism affects them. Some of us are very tired indeed of NTs preaching at us, scolding us, blaming us and accusing us of not trying hard enough or using autism as an "excuse". The last thing we want is to come on here and find a fellow Aspie preaching at us as well and playing the blame game.

Some of us are much older than you and have struggled for MANY years in the workplace only to have nervous breakdowns / end up homeless / be taken away to mental hospitals and locked up against our will.

There may be some using their Asperger's as what you refer to as an "excuse" for not having a job / not being socially successful, but most of us are citing it as a genuine REASON, not an excuse.

I CAN'T GO TO WORK BECAUSE I HAVE HAD NUMEROUS NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS and was taken away to a psychiatric hospital and locked up against my will and have been deemed very seriously disabled.

You are still young. I remember my youthful optimism at your age, thinking "if I can just find the right job for me, everything will be OK." But it wasn't.

f you were about 40 or 50 and had been fired from numerous consecutive jobs and bullied by your workmates every single day for decades and lost your girlfriend and endured a bout of homelessness and had a few nervous breakdowns and been denied proper help from any doctors and had been blamed all your life for all your problems and never even got a diagnosis until you were about 40 or 50, you wouldn't be coming here preaching at others with that youthful enthusiasm.

If you had given your thread a different title and worded your final paragraph like this:

"The point of all of this is that despite any hurdles in life and my AS, it *is* possible to achieve my goals. I have resolved to never use my AS as an excuse, but as a tool to reach my goals. It is hard, gruelling and I have had bad moments, but it is worth it in the end"

then I wouldn't have a problem with it. But you didn't. You chose to conclude that, just because YOU have been successful, there is no excuse for ALL people with Asperger's not to be successful as well.

Pardon me, but that is a highly offensive thing to say. Some of us are VERY SERIOUSLY struggling in life and are going through things you have never had to endure. Some of us are suicidal. Some of us have been very abused. Some have not had the benefit of supportive parents (or indeed ANY parents). Some of us are homeless or have been homeless. Some of us are doped up on drugs with horrible side-effects, but cannot function without them. Some of us are TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO YOU, and pointing that out is not an "excuse". It is merely a FACT.

You have told people to "use AS as a tool to reach their goals"

What a very bland, PC thing to say.

A debilitating condition like AS is not going to be a "tool" to help somebody get a job.

The majority of jobs are not suited to people with AS, and the majority of people with AS are not able to remain in employment. That is a statistical fact.

Of course there are exceptions. Many people with AS find ways to use their personal strengths and creativity to come up with unique business ideas. Alex is a shining example. He made this website. But he is the exception, not the rule.

Yes I was registered with the disability support services at the school. I was not requesting an extension on an assignment and have never done this. I have written about this in other posts, but the issue was that I was trying to do a student teaching internship and I had issues understanding what was expected and with numerous other things. Every accommodation I asked for they said was unreasonable, and all I wanted was clear, detailed expectations to be laid out. The program director hates me and she wanted to make it as hard as possible so I wouldn't graduate. I just found out that the discrimination complaint I filed was rejected. They said that the professor did nothing wrong and they can't change the requirements for disabled persons. Total BS. Just another case of aspies being crapped on and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Besides attributing success to luck, there is also a tendency on wp to blame everything that goes wrong in one's life on autism.
All bad things are caused by autism, never by oneself.
Lack of progress is due entirely to autism, never to oneself.
I believe that autism can and sometimes does make significant contributions to things that go wrong in one's life, problems with people, lack of progress, etc.
But just as one's own actions and decisions make big contributions to successes and dealing well with problems in life, so does these make big contributions to failures and creating or continuing problems.

My mother constantly tells me to "stop using Asperger's/Autism as an excuse for... (insert here whatever it is she thinks I did wrong or what I messed up or forgot)". She has also said that Asperger's is just an excuse I use because I don't care. This is totally not true. We just got in a big argument about this a few days ago. My mother seems to be of the belief that most mental conditions are just excuses to be lazy. I was also told to stop using my condition as an excuse by a professor in college (I filed a discrimination complaint). I just wish NT's would understand that Asperger's really does make life hard and is a real thing!

ashbashbeard posted that in 2016 and has not posted on WP since June 2017.

The internship was at a school known for being "rough" in terms of behavior issues. No matter what I did, I couldn't get the kids to listen to one word I said. Totally rude. I have Asperger's and also problems with working memory, processing speed, and short-term memory. I had problems remembering all 120 student's names since I only saw them once or twice a week. I was criticized for that. I was not permitted to ask the students to wear name badges. Most of the classes were total chaos all the time. The regular teacher couldn't even control them or keep them in the room. Some of the students snuck out while I was helping others and started causing problems in the hall. I was criticized for that. How can someone with ASD keep track of everything that is happening in a situation like that?? I was told I needed to "build relationships" with students, but I am extremely quiet, shy, and introverted (again, on the spectrum). It takes me a long time to build any kind of relationships, and I really don't have many close friends. I hate "small talk" because I can never think of things to say. No one in charge of this internship would make it clear what exactly was expected of me, and I was told that they can't do this because of there being "too many variables". When I read my evaluations, there were a number of things mentioned that were never discussed with me beforehand, therefore I had no idea that I was/was not supposed to be doing them. I was not given the proper amount of time to implement any changes they suggested. I was held to a standard that the regular teacher did not meet. I was told that I "interrupted" the professor in charge of this. I am not aware of it when I interrupt people and it is nearly impossible for me to control. The only accommodations I asked for were for some kind of rubric or checklist to use so I knew what were/were not the correct procedures. I also asked for all information/instructions to be given in written format or to be given proper time to write things down. They said that these were not possible. I did speak to the college's DSS and a representative met with me and the professor several times. DSS told me there was nothing more they could do, because they work with the office of inclusion and equity where I filed the complaint. Basically, although the DSS rep was very nice, she did very little to help me. As I said, I have gotten the feeling that they do not think people with ASD should be teachers and they have found loopholes to get away with discrimination. I have a child and also work in schools. I am familiar with how teachers teach. No teachers I have seen are able to do everything these people asked of me. This woman (the program director) has put me through hell. I have no witnesses, so I doubt that I could even win a court case. Yes, there are laws to protect people with disabilities. But these laws have no meaning in a corrupt system where the unjust are allowed to prevail due to their power and influence, and their ability to bend rules and get around the law.

As I said, I have gotten the feeling that they do not think people with ASD should be teachers and they have found loopholes to get away with discrimination. .

What do they mean by to many variables and why do they say that what you are asking for is not possible? You need to get them to explain that.

Honestly, being a teacher and the teaching requires a lot. You are not just teaching and lecturing kids but you are dealing with your coworkers and administration as well. And, you have to be able to keep track of all kinds of data including the student's grades. And, another thing it's a high stress job and usually the administrators side with the parents and give teachers hell. And, you may have to buy your own school supplies for the kids. More teachers are quitting the profession every year. Please read the teacher stories online and you will see all of the issues teachers have. And then, reevaluate whether you wish to even do this profession or not.

Both trying to pretend your autism does not exist and using Autism as a crutch are bad choices.

The issue is, with a degree in Earth Science and Geography, there are almost no other career options that would work for me. I cannot relocate due to anxiety and family obligations. I cannot deal with long commutes. I have extreme difficulty with math and computer programming so anything involving that is out. I also have physical disabilities due to frequent falls so I cannot do jobs requiring much physical exertion or lifting, so most geologist jobs are out. The only jobs I may be suited to do not pay very well, especially considering my education level. I currently work as a cashier some days and as a substitute teacher other days. I don't have any problems substitute teaching, and I like it. I am aware real teaching is more difficult. I have a son, and I feel responsible to get a job that pays well so I can support him financially instead of my mom paying for it like she does now. The jobs I have now do not allow this. "Teacher's aide" jobs also don't pay enough. My mom is also getting older and has to work overtime at her job to pay for everything. I also feel responsible to help her. She has also told me that if I cannot give her a certain amount of money per month for expenses I would not be allowed to live at her house. I don't really have anywhere or anyone else to go to, and I refuse to make my son move into some cheap apartment with me, he has lived with my mom since he was a baby. I don't want to leave him with my mom and move out because I would feel guilty. I don't even know if I could afford an apartment anyway. I do look for other jobs besides teaching online, but most never call me. I am really running out of options. Unless I find some other job that pays a similar amount, I am going to do all I can to pursue teaching. If I fail at it, so be it. I will deal with that when it happens. I will not go back to that college or do another internship though. I know now they will not let me pass it.