Are you "okay" with having Asperger's?

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No, because people know when you're not like them and exclude you because that, even find a job its hard because to work with Humans Resource here you need psychology degree and they are ordered to exclude people with "bad behavior".

I've pretty much come to terms with my Tourette's-Aspergers, there was a lot of going back and fourth with the variation of diagnostic criteria fr numerous other things, though now its the best explanation of a life never knowing previously. It has taken over 2 years and putting in place, coping mechanisms, strategies, financial support and third part help to finally be comfortable and aware as I age.

I had a mini-meltdown earlier this week. While we were rushing around getting ready for work my husband offered to do something and I explained (I thought very politely) that it wasn't necessary. He then got upset and one of the things he said was "A normal person would have said thankyou." And I kept thinking about it over and over, and by the afternoon when I was by myself I was screaming at the cat and crying uncontrollably. I am not a normal person. I will repeatedly do things that upset my family. There are "normal" mum things that I won't be able to do for my children, or struggle to do. I will keep failing the people I love. And that is the hardest part and I am struggling to come to terms with it.

But I am still glad that I got diagnosed. It does make sense of everything, and knowing how and why I respond to different challenges makes it easier to deal with them. I still like who I am. But I am more aware of my defeciencies- which is both a good and a bad thing.

If pressed for time, my immediate answer would be an undoubted yes, however, I'm uncertain if I were to undergo deeper analysis and a lengthier processing period.

Please allow me to tell you why... I'm absolutely certain that things would be easier for me if I wasn't burdened with my neurologist disposition, but at times, I question if easier would be preferable. Because of who and what I am, I have never been comfortable in my own skin. This has left me with a desire to be someone else, but not just anybody, I have desired to be somebody great, heroic and worthy of praise and admiration. The desire to be someone one great has lead me to an endless search to find the ideal role model to pattern my life after, and I have spent many hours researching the ideal candidate for this obsession... There have been many variables to the outstanding personalities I've studied, but one constant has been the overcoming of adversity. Most notable individuals who deserve our admiration have overcome one form of adversity or another, it is possible that this is my adversity and overcoming, by learning to succeed in spite of it is my path to greatness.

If pressed for time, my immediate answer would be an undoubted yes, however, I'm uncertain if I were to undergo deeper analysis and a lengthier processing period.

Please allow me to tell you why... I'm absolutely certain that things would be easier for me if I wasn't burdened with my neurologist disposition, but at times, I question if easier would be preferable. Because of who and what I am, I have never been comfortable in my own skin. This has left me with a desire to be someone else, but not just anybody, I have desired to be somebody great, heroic and worthy of praise and admiration. The desire to be someone one great has lead me to an endless search to find the ideal role model to pattern my life after, and I have spent many hours researching the ideal candidate for this obsession... There have been many variables to the outstanding personalities I've studied, but one constant has been the overcoming of adversity. Most notable individuals who deserve our admiration have overcome one form of adversity or another, it is possible that this is my adversity and overcoming, by learning to succeed in spite of it is my path to greatness.

Great post!

'Ignoring other's ignorance and judgement', is a skill I am hoping to master.

I am 'okay' with having AS, for the most part. Admittedly, though, on a few occasions, I have wanted to leave aspects of it, in the dust.

Regarding your recent diagnosis - Cheers!

I'm fine with Asperger's but I wish they hadn't called the whole spectrum autism. As a matter of fact, I think they should rename the spectrum, allowing us all to escape the preconceptions.

I am used to Autism and do not care about it.

I'm not sure to what extent I'm OK with it. Trouble is, I have a lot of other problems: Ehler's Danlos syndrome (some of my joints are so unstable they dislocate at the drop of a hat), M.E., fibromyalgia, mast cell activation syndrome, and aggressive inflammatory arthritis in my hands – to mention just a few.

I've been ill since the age of 17, so it's hard now to separate my Asperger's from all the other stuff. I do wish I hadn't had to wait 52 years for the dignity of a diagnosis, though I'm also glad that I didn't have it when I was young (I'd have assumed I'd never be able to achieve anything). I do wish my family would acknowledge it. I do hate not being able to share a living space with someone else, not being able to understand or express many of my own emotions, not being able to eat so many foods because of sensory issues, and having severe dyscalculia. And I feel desperately, desperately sad that I've never had a long-term relationship and most likely never will.

On the other hand, once I'd left school and navigated my early 20s, I've encountered little of the bullying and exclusion that others report. Perhaps it was due to working in theatre, where on the whole people are kind, generous and accepting, and it's not unusual to be 'different' anyway. I think my Asperger's has made me able to contribute things that others can't – I have trouble with definitions, so it's hard to describe exactly what those things are, but I know people genuinely value my input and perspectives. Having to work so hard to develop some degree of social imagination has made me willing to see others' perspectives, too, which in turn has given me the fire to fight hard for inclusion for marginalised people. I have enough function to be able to help non-autistic people understand how to make environments and procedures a little more comfortable for those with autism, so I'm able to do a little good there. And Asperger's also (before age, menopause and terminal brain fog intervened) made me the best proofreader in the business!

Would I have the injection to take the Asperger's away? I might, though in part at least it would be because of my intense curiosity about the world! (I'm not called Kitty for nothing.) If I had to choose between being 'cured' of Asperger's and being cured of M.E., I'd choose the M.E. cure without hesitation.

One thing about relationships for Aspies, long-term or otherwise: Given that we are socially inept, we are more likely to end up with various other dysfunctional, unpopular people. I got the impression that my parents got married after everyone else they knew had paired off. My own longest term relationship ruined me.

I could live with my personality and other unique traits. However, I would like to have been more independent from the start.

Thank you for your replies and comments. Dear_one, I guess it's just a case of the grass always looking greener. I know folk who've been very damaged by relationships, and realise that for most couples it's hardly fun all the way. I s'ppose I'd just like to have experienced it for myself!

Claradoon, I don't feel mentally old and finished, there's so much I'm burning to get out and do. It's just my body that's buggered! I'm 95% housebound, and even something as simple as sitting up all day is often too exhausting. I'd love to get out into the countryside on a good day, but can't afford an all-terrain powered wheelchair...and being unable to work now has left me in a financial hole that scares me half to death. I'll almost certainly lose the house I've lived in for 25 years, and other than tiny, poky social housing flats that wouldn't accept my beloved cat, it's sooo hard to find rented accommodation that's accessible for a wheelchair user. I'm the eternal optimist, though, and I do still have hope that life will get better.

Apart from few years before I went into the arts, I loved my work. The pay was rubbish, the hours were long, there's no pension, but I wouldn't have changed it. I got into it through two massive slices of luck: firstly, seeing my best friend's father performing in a very powerful theatre-in-education play when I was 14, which made me realise art can actually change things; and then stumbling across an ad for an unpaid role in a newly formed theatre-in-education company ten years later. I'd left school as soon as I turned 16 with no qualifications, and as a working-class council estate kid would never have found a paid job in a middle-class profession where everybody is educated to degree level. The new company had decided to work together for a year to see if they could get enough public funding to actually start paying themselves, and if not, to look for 'proper jobs' elsewhere. They took me on, I got them a bank loan, some free office space, and a grant, and we had a brilliant 18 months. I was then offered a job running a small theatre, so I left at that point...I'd served my apprenticeship. We all went on to have decent careers, so that year and a half of living on state benefits and having to scrabble around borrowing bus fares was well worth it.

I do have the full diagnostic report, compiled by the two highly-trained psychs...it's just that my family totally blocks me from talking about Asperger's or M.E. Even when I've been so ill I had to be hospitalised, they don't offer any acknowledgement; it's almost as if they view it as some kind of hypochondria. It used to bother me a lot, but I've given up worrying about it now. There are much more enjoyable things to think about, and I've been blessed with friends and colleagues who, almost without exception, have been supportive and wonderful.

You didn't bore me at all, and I wish you every blessing with your new life. I hope I haven't bored you!