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I'm 13 and have a question about Autism

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colton.s
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13 Jun 2018, 6:39 pm

skibum wrote:
Cotton, I am really sorry that that kid said he would not come to your house. It just shows that people don't understand about Autism and we really have to teach them. You will find good people though. When we are disabled we often learn that even though a lot of people are shallow and not willing to be close to us because of how we were made, there are some people who are really good people and who will love us for who we are. They are few and far between, but they are worth waiting for. It's better to have just a very few close people who love you for real than to have a lot of friends who only care about you if you fit into the mold that they want you to fit in. That is not real love.

I also do not think that it would be disrespectful to your father if you lived on the ranch with your stepfather and his children. I think that if your father was anything like you, meaning, if he had such a pure heart of gold like you have, he would be so happy for you all to live there because you guys would be so happy there. I think he would love it. I can imagine that he would want your mom to be happy and have your stepdad meet her needs as a husband and meet your needs as a dad. It's different from someone who is divorced. Your dad passed away, I think he would want someone to love you and your mom as he did. And I think that he would be so happy if his ranch could make such an incredible difference in JD's life. Having you and JD and your new sister get to grow up on the ranch and knowing how much that can help an Autistic child is like an amazing gift that he can continue to give to his family even after he has passed on.


my stepdads says it would be uncoverable sleeping in my dad's room and I know my old friends who be fine with JD



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13 Jun 2018, 6:57 pm

Maybe your mom and stepdad can sleep in a room that is not your dad's old room. Maybe they can give you the master bedroom and they can sleep in your room. Or maybe they can build a add on room to the house that is special to them. I think that they should consider creative options like that because it would so good for you guys to be there and if your friends there are fine with JD that is even more reason for you to be there.


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colton.s
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13 Jun 2018, 7:15 pm

skibum wrote:
Maybe your mom and stepdad can sleep in a room that is not your dad's old room. Maybe they can give you the master bedroom and they can sleep in your room. Or maybe they can build a add on room to the house that is special to them. I think that they should consider creative options like that because it would so good for you guys to be there and if your friends there are fine with JD that is even more reason for you to be there.


I miss it I could ride my horse ll day and never cover the ranch and I like just going and looking at the cows



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13 Jun 2018, 7:26 pm

I think it's really important for you guys to be able to be there. Hopefully your parents can get creative so that you and JD can stay at the ranch.


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colton.s
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13 Jun 2018, 7:41 pm

skibum wrote:
I think it's really important for you guys to be able to be there. Hopefully your parents can get creative so that you and JD can stay at the ranch.

maybe it will happen



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13 Jun 2018, 7:52 pm

colton.s wrote:
So today one of my friends texted and said they want to come over and hang out, Then he texts me and I quote "not to sound mean but will your new brother be there he is kind of scary if he is can we meet at the Park" I just text him back and said I could not come out and left it at that. I was not sure what to say I know what I wanted to say. Then I got to thinking and not that I have a lot of friends we only have lived here 9 weeks, most of my friends are at my old school, anyways The kids I know here that I skate with or hang with at the park all but Callie never come to the house some have never been but the ones that have never come back I had never really thought about it but now I wonder if they all feel that way. I had one guy say some pretty mean things about JD but I didn't like him much anyway. I just hate to think 1. my friends are that shallow and 2. that I pick that bad of friends on the other side of that I feel bad because I really like hanging out with those guys and not a lot of people my age around here, anyways just venting


I don't think you should hold it against them. It's human nature to be leery around people who act differently. I'm speaking for myself here cause I don't know JD, but I know I do act strangely and people do stare because of it. I figure I could be angry about that or just say "meh human nature at work". You might try ribbing your friend a little and say something like "seriously you're scared of a little kid?'.



colton.s
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13 Jun 2018, 8:12 pm

EzraS wrote:
colton.s wrote:
So today one of my friends texted and said they want to come over and hang out, Then he texts me and I quote "not to sound mean but will your new brother be there he is kind of scary if he is can we meet at the Park" I just text him back and said I could not come out and left it at that. I was not sure what to say I know what I wanted to say. Then I got to thinking and not that I have a lot of friends we only have lived here 9 weeks, most of my friends are at my old school, anyways The kids I know here that I skate with or hang with at the park all but Callie never come to the house some have never been but the ones that have never come back I had never really thought about it but now I wonder if they all feel that way. I had one guy say some pretty mean things about JD but I didn't like him much anyway. I just hate to think 1. my friends are that shallow and 2. that I pick that bad of friends on the other side of that I feel bad because I really like hanging out with those guys and not a lot of people my age around here, anyways just venting


I don't think you should hold it against them. It's human nature to be leery around people who act differently. I'm speaking for myself here cause I don't know JD, but I know I do act strangely and people do stare because of it. I figure I could be angry about that or just say "meh human nature at work". You might try ribbing your friend a little and say something like "seriously you're scared of a little kid?'.


That is why I just said I could not come out because I did not know how to deal with it I just don't get it he is a little kid



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14 Jun 2018, 6:58 am

It's good to know your time together with the horses went well.

As above, a lot of people are wary or scared of what they don't understand, but sometimes they just want to avoid things they don't wantto deal with due to being lazy. While it's good to try and educate others, this can be hard work too. These things take usually take time, the key, on whether to make the effort or not is if people are willing to learn and open to changing their opinions. You can lead a horse to water...
You need to do what feels right to you and try not to be frustrated if making progress goes slower than you would like it to.

With regards to moving to the ranch, again it will take time for a solution to be found. Try to be patient, I know that can be hard. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to offer suggestions on the subject. I'll leave you to choose if you want discuss it more



colton.s
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14 Jun 2018, 9:48 am

neilson_wheels wrote:
It's good to know your time together with the horses went well.

As above, a lot of people are wary or scared of what they don't understand, but sometimes they just want to avoid things they don't wantto deal with due to being lazy. While it's good to try and educate others, this can be hard work too. These things take usually take time, the key, on whether to make the effort or not is if people are willing to learn and open to changing their opinions. You can lead a horse to water...
You need to do what feels right to you and try not to be frustrated if making progress goes slower than you would like it to.

With regards to moving to the ranch, again it will take time for a solution to be found. Try to be patient, I know that can be hard. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to offer suggestions on the subject. I'll leave you to choose if you want discuss it more


I kind of decided to see where it goes with my friends I don't like the way they are acting but JD did kind of scare me at first. if I'm honest about it. as for living on the ranch, I do kind of understand my stepdads point, that house has been in my family over a 100 years I did hear them talking about maybe buying an acre of land that is next to the ranch same fence line and building a new house I think it is kind if dumb but I do understand his point I guess but you are right WP is about learning about JD and I have done that because of all the help here



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14 Jun 2018, 12:37 pm

colton.s wrote:
skibum wrote:
I think you may be right that he may have been triggered by a smell. When I am at the store and I go down the laundry/soap isle especially, the smell is so overwhelming sometimes that I can't tolerate it. If he was close to the soap isle or the laundry isle, the smells could have been too much for him. There are also some food isles that I can't tolerate also because of the smells.


that's the row we were on and a box was broke on the floor


Hey Colton first I just wanted to say I think it’s great that you’re here to learn how to help your little brother.

I have similar (but more mild) issues with perfumes and laundry chemicals. One thing that helps me a lot is to only buy chemical free, natural scent products: laundry soap, replace dryer sheets with reusable dryer balls, shampoo, conditioner, soap, dish soap, get rid of scented candles. These products are becoming much more popular and widely available. If they cause your brother to meltdown, having even small amounts around your house likely bother him and make it easier for him to get overloaded and it’s a pretty easy change to make for your parents.

Everyone is so nice and helpful in this thread. Colton you’re bringing out the good in people around here :D



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14 Jun 2018, 5:45 pm

colton.s wrote:
skibum wrote:
I think it's really important for you guys to be able to be there. Hopefully your parents can get creative so that you and JD can stay at the ranch.

maybe it will happen
I will pray that it does. I would be so happy for you guys if you could live there again.


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14 Jun 2018, 5:51 pm

I think it's fine to offer the family suggestions about the ranch as long as we do it in a considerable and respectful way. They are only suggestions and they can take them or leave them. And it might help them come up with solutions that they might not have thought of otherwise.


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colton.s
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14 Jun 2018, 7:22 pm

leahbear wrote:
colton.s wrote:
skibum wrote:
I think you may be right that he may have been triggered by a smell. When I am at the store and I go down the laundry/soap isle especially, the smell is so overwhelming sometimes that I can't tolerate it. If he was close to the soap isle or the laundry isle, the smells could have been too much for him. There are also some food isles that I can't tolerate also because of the smells.


that's the row we were on and a box was broke on the floor


Hey Colton first I just wanted to say I think it’s great that you’re here to learn how to help your little brother.

I have similar (but more mild) issues with perfumes and laundry chemicals. One thing that helps me a lot is to only buy chemical free, natural scent products: laundry soap, replace dryer sheets with reusable dryer balls, shampoo, conditioner, soap, dish soap, get rid of scented candles. These products are becoming much more popular and widely available. If they cause your brother to meltdown, having even small amounts around your house likely bother him and make it easier for him to get overloaded and it’s a pretty easy change to make for your parents.

Everyone is so nice and helpful in this thread. Colton you’re bringing out the good in people around here :D


Thank you very much



colton.s
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14 Jun 2018, 7:23 pm

skibum wrote:
I think it's fine to offer the family suggestions about the ranch as long as we do it in a considerable and respectful way. They are only suggestions and they can take them or leave them. And it might help them come up with solutions that they might not have thought of otherwise.

I agree it is fine thats how we learn



colton.s
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15 Jun 2018, 3:43 pm

well today we are tractoring again as DJ says, I give up on figuring him out, not giving up on him just figuring him out.JD wants to ride with me raking which is cool he picked me but after we started he decided he wanted the windows open. First, it is like 102 outside, second it is dusty, and third, it is loud when you open the window on a tractor the rake makes a lot of noise as you can see well hear.

He does take after me in one way after about an hour he was in the floor asleep I all ways did that when I was little too.I'm not sure I get it but he is almost like a different kid on Grandpa's farm he more outgoing well he is more curious I guess, when we get home he goes back to his his world in the den and his room it is like being around to different kids



colton.s
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15 Jun 2018, 10:22 pm

Just one last thanks I learned a lot and would like to think what I learned here, help me and JD learn about each other I think without what I learned here. I would still just feel like I had this weird little kid I had to live with and I was a little scared of. I will update from time to time if anyone would like, but as mom says never overstay your welcome.