You may be Autistic if...

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The loud noises from motorcycles nearly bust my eardrums, and the people who ride them are absolutely nuts on the roads here! I have seen motorcyclists try to sneak in between cars. These people must have a death wish. (I'm not willing to scrape you off the road, idiot!)

You're suave, charming, and articulate with your pretend conversations but struggle to adequately communicate yourself when you're actually having the conversation you were planning for.

You find it irksome when Aspies complain about the gender option on internet forums and application forms should have a third option, but they're the ones who believe there are two types of human (NT and autistic), and won't have it when you try to explain that there are other disorders that can make a person just as non-NT as an Aspie.

You quickly edited this post to add that not every Aspie thinks like that but a lot do (before you get accused of overgeneralizing).

You worry that people here might not get what you've just said in the first paragraph, because you find it difficult to explain things on an intellectual level.

You May Be An Aspie If...

... you over-explain simple things because you want to make sure the other person knows your position and does not accidentally give it a tone or underlying meaning you were not trying to put there; but the problem is, the more things you exclude, the more you think that the other person is wondering what you are really trying to say, so instead of making your point clear, you are basically convincing the other person you have a hidden meaning, and they just have not figured out yet, which turns a simple statement into a treasure hunt in an exceptionally long monologue for the other person.

^^

You may have AS if you are interested enough to muddle through that entire sentence.

You May Be An Aspie If...

... it baffles you why people say nice things at a funeral about the deceased that they would never have said while the person was alive, especially when you know that the person was a total jerk.

... someone else receives an 'upvote' and you see it as a 'downvote' against you.

... the lack of an 'upvote' for you is the same as a 'downvote' against you.

... you overhear a complimentary statement and you simply KNOW they are not talking about you.

... you overhear a neutral statement and think you may have been insulted, even though you cannot figure out how.

... you overhear an uncomplimentary statement and you simply KNOW they are talking about you.

You May Be An Aspie If...

... your life's ambition is to produce "Roget's Thesaurus: The Movie".

... your mind goes blank whenever you are asked more than one question at a time.

... your most hated phrase is "close enough" because while it may be so, it is certainly not correct.

... your natural "Poker Face" expression and monotone delivery figured in more than one painful incident because no one thought you were serious when you warned them that the actions they were about to take would do them great bodily harm.

... your neighbors come to your door at all hours of the night needing help with their computers, network routers, and printers.

... your normal facial expression is "The Poker Face".

... your obsessiveness surrounding a special interest makes it very difficult to get normal, everyday stuff accomplished.

... your parents tell you to play quietly in your room because they are expecting important visitors.

... your pets have more social interaction skills than you do.

... your pets know exactly how many treats you will give them based on what time of day it is.

You think the words "Good job!" spoken in an patronizing voice are two of the most annoying words in the English language. It is not "good" at my age when I do something that should have been routine for at least 20 years.

You think words like "try" are worse than profanity because, at my age, people don't try, they do things, and have been doing it, as stated above, for 20 or more years, so long it becomes more than routine, but a rut. Nothing good there.

Your life ambition is to write the life story of Denis Istomin and see his life story made into a movie.

My mind definitely goes blank when I hear a rapid fire series of questions.

"Close enough" and "almost" are insulting, because you know you didn't make it. "You blew it!" is more like it. I hate when people are PC (politically correct) when I knew I did awful.

When all of the accommodations given to people for one reason or another, mindlessly, make you think of the Gilbert and Sullivan line, "If everybody's somebody, then no one's anybody," referenced in the movie Chariots of Fire.

When you know that the movie Chariots of Fire has a lot of historical inaccuracies, and the stories of the real Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell are far more interesting and compelling.

While NTs binge watch Game of Thrones, you binge watch vintage Olympic Games footage.

You react to cat videos like cats react to catnip.

....you need details.

You really really hate the word "soon". What does soon mean? In 5 minutes, an hour, a couple days?

Soon.... Well. For me on the one hand, if I am nurvous about something I do not want a date as I would spend a very long time worrying about it. But at the same time "Soon" would concern me because I have been told soon and nothing happens... And I have to trace up things to see what has happened, and then find no-one knows anything about it. Mixed feelings...!

I hated the words "We'll see" in response to anything. To me, that was worse than a firm "No." The word "no" isn't as damaging as "We'll see," and some kids don't hear the word no often enough. "We'll see" never turns into "yes." Sometimes waiting is constructive, but not if you just sit there doing nothing or going nowhere. One needs to be active while they wait, otherwise one dies.

If you know which specific country within the Soviet Union or Yugoslavia famous Olympic athletes originated, even older ones and you realize many former Soviet athletes were not Russian, but Ukrainian (Vladmir Kuts, track, Larissa Latinyna, gymnastics and Sergei Bubka, pole vault, are examples, and you know Franjo Mihalic, second to Alain Mimoun in the Melbourne 1956 Olympics, was Croatian).

You also know that the three French Olympic marathon champions were all born outside of France, one from Luxembourg and two from Algeria.

I'm on an Olympic Marathon kick (pun intended) right now.