Anyone else offended by this?

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Yes, because you're more normal than you think you are.

wow - congratulations.
does this mean you got married? he is now formally "your husband?"
I hope, if so, the day was beautiful and happy and not too stressful for you.

Yes. I imagine most times it would not be a bad thing. Maybe they just lack a bit of theory of mind to see how it might be received as offensive.

Yes I'm married. I got married on Saturday and I suprised myself by not getting all stressed out and having any episodes during the wedding. I stayed on the main floor the whole time without going upstairs and keeping to myself. Four hours seemed like all day and it was plenty because by the time it ended, only two of my dad's friends were left and my family. The rest had already left. Then I was exhausted that evening, not sure if it was from all the people or because I didn't get enough sleep. Then we opened our wedding gifts that night after I was done resting. Some people at the wedding told me I was very sweet because I was patient and didn't get all stressed out.

Planning them is stressful. Luckily major things didn't happen at our wedding, only minor things such as forgetting my purse because I had two checks I needed to write. I think that was the only minor thing that happened. Another thing was my old friend didn't show up and she said she would be there but I figured something must have came up or they forgot or they got lost and turned around and went home. Turns out they thought the wedding was at two than one so they missed the reception but made it for the party. I was happy she made it. I wasn't mad at her for being late or upset. Receptions are boring anyway. I had to stand and wait for my dad's friend to finish singing and then wait for our minister to read the thing and finish it. Luckily they don't last more than a half hour. I also had to keep taking off my glasses and had to have them off during the reception because people wanted to take photos and the glasses will make a glare and they didn't want them in their photos. So I was stuck standing in the blurry world.

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 26 Jun 2009, 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

^ oh wow. that is such good news. I hope you and your husband have happiness, joy and friendship together for the rest of your lives.

You sound as if you did amazingly with the wedding day.
i hope the presents were fun to open.

Oh they were. My favorite ones were getting cash and checks and gift cards and I loved the Wii fit and the Wii fit cover. We spent almost all our money on the honeymoon but not the giftcards (haven't used those yet). Now we are out in Montana visiting my parents. I decided we should drive out here to surprise them since they only live three hours from Spokane. We are staying one day or two before we head home. Our honeymoon's over but my husband thinks not, he says it's not over till we are home. To me it's over when we checked out of the hotel. I picked my favorite city for the honeymoon and stayed at The Davenport. Bing Cosby stayed there one time and so did The Mozart and the Whale crew and the actors when they shot the movie, they even shot a scene in that hotel and I saw the room there where Isabelle freaked out when Donald proposed to her.

^ that sounds really good.

Yes. I know what you mean. Even therapists would do it. They prefer to minimise some issues or deny them.

Agreed a councillor tried to relate her hearing to my sensory overloaded hearing lol nothing similar at all just annoys me to be honest

I think that's true though for every single one of us... We all process and filter things based on our view of the world and our experiences within it. And to my way of thinking, people saying "oh yes I do that too" often aren't intending their words to be offensive, I think what they're trying to do is to relate to the issue being discussed and to empathise with it. I think they're trying to show that they have an understanding (even if that understanding is very superficial at that stage)...



Yep - although as per my previous paragraph, I'd extend that to "listen ... and be willing to take steps to try and understand" - and I think that's what they're doing here, at least some of them are.

The ones who take the mental leap though from "oh yes I do that too" to "so there's really nothing wrong with you" lack the understanding I think of just what you mean when you say "I don't deal with that kind of situation very well", making this a good response:



That's the key issue... Some people just get mildly uncomfortable about something, whereas others get completely overwhelmed. It's the same "issue" but the degree of severity is obviously entirely different.

My advice, to anyone looking for some, isn't to take offence to such statements unless it's obvious that they were trying to be offensive. I'd like to think I could view such statements as an opportunity to educate them a little further about why what they're experiencing and what I'm experiencing may be related, but they're not the same thing. The more people who understand, the more we can all get along

Best wishes! ( I learned the hard way to congratulate the groom and give the bride best wishes!)

I was just struck by the above quote from you, SG, that how it is EXACTLY how it is with AS in an NT world!

Long life and love and joy and courage to you and your hubby!

Merle

It does get annoying when people say that, but I'm not offended by it though. I think they just want to make me feel better about myself, but it doesn't work though.