World's FIRST seminar for Women and Girls with ASD's.

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Yes. I only have 30 mins - maybe 40 mins, which will be difficult. But i would LOVE to use something of yours. It depends on time constraints as to what can be read out. But if you are ok with me selecting something that can be given out with the excerpts from others, as examples of how we live and our experiences with ASD's - well - that would be brilliant.

Sure, with pleasure. We can't go through 3,000+ posts I've made here, but if you recall a subject you'd like me to dig up, I'll be glad to look for it.

I don't know if you've chosen a topic for your presentation already, but I think you're the best role model for girls - Aspie artist making it against all odds ! !!

Holy Crap. I Need to go. I MUST go. The only thing is, I don't think I can afford to go.

All the time. That's kinda the point.

Sounds cool.

It's just too faaaar away...

I'll be there for sure. Does it cost money to get in? I didn't think of that before.

Did they need any other volunteers or anything millie? I'd love to help out however I can.

I can't believe this is the first one ever of its kind being held, gosh we're behind...

$150 for each day???

I'd be interested in sneaking up north to attend the first day, but I'd feel out of place attending the second given my dubious 'am I/am I not' position on the spectrum.
Both my parents are going away though, so I have to stay home and look after the house and animals.

The payment rates are on the website address in the opening post. . there are concession rates and member rates also, which shave a lot off the highest cost.

I have nothing to do with the finances and I am not getting paid. I also know the association is a not-for-profit organisation and the woman who runs it has a son with AS and works tirelessly to put on these talks and seminars up and down the east coast of australia.

I'd love to go, maybe next time.

(Also wanted to bump this thread.)

What sort of constructive benefit?

I'm honestly trying to see how this would help but I honestly can't.
It hasn't benefitted me in my life thus far. (I hope this changes).
People (especially professionals) have not known how to deal with it or don't understand that fact that I can have a valid opinion of my own if I mention it. It was all negative back then. People thought that I was "wrong" or "broken", not that I might have a valid perspective on the world different from their own. Because they weren't prepared to try and understand my behaviour even with the "benefit" of the assessment: they just assumed that they had to "fix" me on a "shoe-string budget". Because they thought that I wouldn't do well because I was "disabled", it became a self fulfilling prophesy for a while. There was no "positive spin" that Attwood is giving it now.

The help I received was sometimes "well intentioned", but completely inappropriate for my needs, sometimes even damaging. It was kind of a general thing that all "special" kids got back then.

People only noticed the positive "Attwood" points when they were unaware of my past assessment or when I was in an environment where people were not prepared to not see me as a label.

I do respect your point of view and your experience.
I realise that I'm still young and probably haven't the benefit of seeing much of the world yet. I also appreciate that you've only hears about AS relatively recently.

I'll have to say that my early AS assessment did screw me up in my early life and did turn people against me.

They only saw what I couldn't do, not what I could.

People certainly didn't respect me for my AS assessment and I was excluded by my school from lots of activities and opportunities because of it. I appreciate that my experiences may be unusual particularly for a girl because I did act out. I acted out because people wanted to pigeon hole me from a young age. I often felt like I was being forcibly shoved into a box that didn't even fit me. I was also subtly bullied by people in authority because of it.

I'm sorry, but I still have nightmares about this now.
I don't want other girls to go through what I went through with regards the assessment. I wouldn't wish that kind of treatment or ostracism on my worst enemy.

I never wanted to be diagnosed or be labeled with anything, I just wanted to be me and to live my own life. People have actually been far more accepting and understanding of me when they haven't known about AS. The AS assessment just created distance and anguish between my family and myself. I've actually lost close friends over mentioning it.

Some family members now want me to prove that AS doesn't exist.
I can't disprove the negative though: no one can.

If anything, I think there's strong evidence that different people's brains are different.

I think that mothers should also realise that some of these so called AS criteria may very well apply to them and even other family members.

I think that they should also realise that behaviours they may have got away with as a child such as reading alone, working alone or thinking quietly during the lunch-break aren't tolerated as well in this pro-social society. The kid has to be socialising all the time or has trouble sitting at a "group" desk in class, something is "wrong" with her rather than it just being her valid personality. That's one of the unforeseen side-affects of having the ideal that everyone needs to cooperate and be "friendlier" "rammed down people's throats". I believe that being friendly and working together is important and has it's place, however I've never liked the idea of it being forced upon me sometimes, when I'd work better alone. It can be overwhelming. It's overwhelming for my family too.

I say this because the culture has changed. This is one of the reasons . Behaviours that would have once been thought desirable or even independent minded are now considered to be indicative of some "disorder" and are pathologised. People can be "disabled" by increased social and societal expectations.


I hope that girls who receive the diagnosis in the future are:

A) The right girls.

B) Are accepted for who they are regardless of it and aren't barred from opportunities or ostracised/stigmatised for being "socially disabled".

C) Receive better constructive help with maintaining relationships and encouragement than I did.


I'm sorry, but these are just my views on this given my experiences.

Have a good time.

AmberEyes, I understand what you're feeling but Millie specifically put her own story in the context of many different experiences among ASD women. This is the quote:

So she's not saying there's no problem if there's a diagnosis, she's saying she'll talk about what she herself has experienced without one.

There are all kinds of struggles and obstacles, nobody experiences them all but everybody has to work on some of them. I think the way to get through is to appreciate the opportunity to work on whatever life throws at you. That's what I try to tell myself.

Fair enough.
I appreciate your perspective.
I appreciate that Millie has only recently been diagnosed.

I'm just saying that many people weren't supportive of my diagnosis and I wasn't treated like a human being for having it. It essentially made me the "victim".

I'm just saying that labeling (if used incorrectly) can rob people of their own personal power and self esteem. I still don't agree with labels being forced onto people if they don't help the individual in productive ways. I also appreciate that sometimes labeling is inappropriate for the person or situation.

I understand that different people have different experiences and mine is probably pretty unusual, but these are my views on the subject.

This is coming from a female who was "diagnosed", but her family disagreed with it.

My main concern is that I don't want other girls to be ostracised or stigmatised because others misunderstand the diagnoses.

I'm also concerned that girls may be forced by professionals to act in a certain way to meet social expectations without remaining true to themselves.

Sometimes good intentions to "help" can go astray or take power away from the individual concerned.


In also understand that I'm in no real position myself to say what life is like to be completely undiagnosed, unlike Millie, because I was assessed at 5 years of age.

I'm very sorry that some of my past anger and resentment has seeped into my last post. I'll try not to let this happen again.

Regards.

AmberEyes,

I'm curious, why would your parents:

1. send you for diagnosis to a public entity instead of a private one that could keep your diagnosis private between you and your parents?

2. since they didn't believe your diagnosis, allow for your life to be so determined by educators and doctors who did believe the diagnosis?

Millie and the rest of us who only heard about AS late in life, lived horrible, tortured lives of blame and self-blame. That doesn't mean that those diagnosed earlier didn't go through an ordeal (of a different kind) themselves too. This is why I ask you these 2 questions - because ultimately, it's not about whether it's better or worse to be diagnosed early. Ordeal or lack thereof is caused by the people who surround you - doctors, educators, extended family, and MOST OF ALL, the parents.

To tell the truth I'm still baffled about this myself and I haven't had any clear answers from my family.

I do remember that I acted out though in the early years (out of boredom, social overwhelm and confusion). It was scary not knowing what was going on or what was expected of me at times.

I truth, I think that they regretted putting me through to be diagnosed or thought that they were doing the best thing (in panic) for me at the time given the disruption I was causing. fair enough. That's why it was public. I know that part of the process happened abroad so I guess it became public after that. People were certainly concerned about me. Even the experts admitted that the AS diagnosis was only an informed "guess" because I was a girl: I didn't seem to fit anything else.

Parents have to listen and trust people in authority because they believe (at first anyway) that people in authority are "meant to know best" and be trusted. They were new to parenting and didn't really know who else to turn to.

The disbelief, from what I can gather, probably came from one parent later and not the other. The blame was passed around for a while. One individual was certainly against the whole thing from early on.

I'm very sorry that I can't be clearer on this.
I was very young and was not told much at the time.



I agree absolutely with this.

Perhaps it's not the diagnosis that's the problem in my case, but how it was handled by those in charge.

For a while people did see me as a kind of walking label of deficits for a while.
Little practical or useful help was offered.
That was horrible.

Sadly, back then, they honestly thought that kids like me really did lack empathy or that I really was some "monster".

I certainly didn't easily fit into the school system during the early years or was aware that I had to talk to the other children. I had a very isolated early childhood for a lot of reasons, which probably also didn't help the situation. I certainly wasn't socially prepared when I first went to school. I wasn't a bad or deliberately malicious person, just a socially clueless one who became frustrated and confused if there were too many people or things going on in one room at a time. I still retain this quirk to this day and I come from a "reserved" family.

In the right environment, I'm absolutely fine, friendly, productive and calm.

I'm sorry that it's complicated, but perhaps I'll never know the full story.

It's always complicated. Because AS in itself doesn't cause suffering. The NT environment, clashing with our AS, is what causes the suffering. After all, I think that what caused our difficulties was neither the early or the late diagnosis but the unsupportive environments we grew up in.

Eg: Even not knowing about the existence of AS or the possibility of going for a diagnosis, my parents could've refrained from calling me "evil" for not having ToM. They could've explained to me nicely what was upsetting people in my behavior. I would've listened if they'd talked rather than lecture and spank. Even without hearing about AS till age 40+ and without any diagnosis, my life wouldn't necessarily have been such an ordeal if my parents had been on my side.

Maybe our stories (the early and the late diagnosed) are a lot more alike than it looks at first glance.

Wow.

AmberEyes...I have made it pointedly clear in past thread posts - to you personally - that I am saddened to hear of your experiences and that they need to be understood compassionately and serve as an example of what may happen if the issue of diagnosis is handled irresponsibly and insensitively.

Quite frankly, I read through the past page or so of this thread and I cannot even face a thorough reading of it because there seems to be a bit of vehemence which I personally do not have the stomach for. This thread and the seminar has been started in good faith and I have done so with my usual childlike wish to impart something i felt was good and of benefit to others. Your experience is one experience and is a valid one. I would hope we here on WP can extend a spirit of compassion and care towards each other, recognising that there are many experiences and many viewpoints and opinions within our community, and that each has a place.

There are many here for whom a diagnosis is beneficial. If you are angry because of the experience you had regarding incorrect dx, then i really want to extend respect to you and i have made that very clear before. I profess to know little about how it is for those who have been incorrectly diagnosed. It is my hope the same courtesy can be extended to those for whom a diagnosis and education has been and is, worthwhile.

I am really not interested in division, argument and anger. I have had far too much of that in my life.
I hope this seminar can be a good and beneficial thing for those who are interested.
If not, move on with your journey please, and leave me out of the arguments. I am tired of life as it is.
Very, very tired.

I will talk at the seminar about my life and experiences. That is what i said i would do in my posts here. It may help others and i would like to help other girls who have been CORRECTLY diagnosed, so that they do not end up homeless and bashed, raped, terrorised by tough girls in prison, robbed, hoodwinked by unscrupulous and abusive men, bullied in the playground, left floundering in dead end jobs when they have the very real potentials to SOAR if they are just given the help they need. Hope i do not sound melodramatic, but that is how it is for many of us. and i receive enough pm's to know...girls and women who do not want to say publicly how it has been, but who will drop me a line and say "me too." So many of us have been brutalised because there was no-one there to help or even understand that the issue was Aspergers or an ASD.

Give me trees, nature, pets, art and peace. I don't have any more time for scratchy attacks and hurt in this world. And i know many, many other women and girls with ASD's feel similarly. The seminar is for those who want it. If you don't, go and be happy and enjoy life as best you can.