If you say 'hi' and the person answers 'how you doing?'....

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I respond to that with the reply: Not bad for an Old Guy.

ruveyn

I find that all the time. But I don't see why you should treat it as 'hi' when it's clearly a question - surely you'd look stupid if you ignored the question? So I always try to answer the question properly and that ends up not being the right way to do it. This even happens with my close friends, who I think are used to me by now. With them it usually goes something like this though:

Them: Hello
Me: Hello
Them: How are you?
Me: (I try to keep it concise but an actual comprehensive answer) I am having quite a good day, I have been painting and reading and I had a very nice meal. How was your day? (Meaning it in a genuine fashion)
Them: Fine thanks.

A few minutes later I can ask almost exactly the same thing, but because it isn't part of the 'Hi, how are you?' stage, she'll answer it perfectly comprehensively, as I would.

I find that quite often happens. I think it is comparable with 'hi' and sometimes actually interchangeable with it; someone you vaguely know can walk past you and just say 'alright?'. I get really frustrated with this however because they are asking you a question and you really should answer it otherwise it is stupid and you look stupid. I always try to give a concise but comprehensive answer. I used to give simply a comprehensive answer but I have been told that this is not a good idea, so I try to keep it short now. Other people seem to answer but just say 'fine', even if they don't mean it. Even my closest friend (who I think is used to me by now) does this:

Her: Hello
Me: Hello
Her: How are you?
Me: I am having a very good day actually, I have done some painting and some reading and made some really nice dinner. How has your day been? (Meaning the question genuinely).
Her: Fine thanks.

BUT if I ask her the same question a bit later on she will answer as comprehensively as I would have done - I think it is just because the 'how are you' at the beginning of the conversation is like an extension of the hello. Why, I have no clue. It makes no sense!

It depends, usually I say, fine, ok, had better days...

I do this too, especially if unnerved or tired.

Does anyone else on here notice that people expect you to say 'I'm fine' then if you don't they act like you broke some kind of social norm, and seem a little freaked out?

Not all NTs do it. But it's a common enough reaction that I notice. The conversation will go something like this:

Me: How are you?
Other person: I'm fine, how are you?
Me: Uh, I feel like s**t actually, I didn't go to sleep until 7am, I think I was over producing adrenaline or something...
Other person: Um...Okay...



...I do this too..

Funny. I have several co-workers who are originally from southern India. One of them couldn't understand why people kept talking about the weather. He said, "No one talks about the weather in India because it's incredibly predictable. There's just nothing to talk about."