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asperges
Raven
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Joined: 15 Mar 2009
Age: 64
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30 Jun 2009, 12:12 pm

Oh dear, it happened again yesterday, but in a different context. I was talking to someone and they saw someone a few feet away that thewanted to talk to before they left, so he excused himself (just for a minute I thought) and started a conversation with these other two people to follow up on something that was said earlier in the night. He is a student that wanted to share his knowledge about something that these other people were having a problem with. I have had the same amount of coursework in this area as he has, but he tends to dominate the conversation so when I walked over there, even though we had the same advise, I couldn't get a word in. Then they just started talking about random stuff and I couldn't get my friend to focus on me again. Meanwhile this person who I really need me to see me do well socially was looking on pretty much staring at me during this awkward time for me. HELP. Again, suggestions are more helpful than stories that just describe how you can relate without showing what you are doing about it or other advise for this problem.



activebutodd
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30 Jun 2009, 12:31 pm

Hm. All I can think of is wait for the stream to get a little less steady (a la Greentea's suggestions). Then shift your weight, look them in the eyes, take a breath to speak and lift up your finger or a pencil. These are all cues that you wish to speak, and may stop them for a second so you can interject. Hopefully!



Greentea
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30 Jun 2009, 2:49 pm

asperges, when you have relevant info but the people are not paying attention to it and continue to discuss it between them, it means they're [b]bonding and not really interested in exchanging info. As I wrote above, never ever try to interrupt people who are bonding. You look totally clueless, or even worse, like you're trying to prevent them from bonding. I misinterpreted this for half a century, and only discovered it a couple years ago.[/b]


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asperges
Raven
Raven

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Joined: 15 Mar 2009
Age: 64
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30 Jun 2009, 7:04 pm

Assuming you are correct, it still doesn't answer the question of what to do. Not interrupting isn't the problem. It's figuring out how to get into the conversation so people around me aren't wondering why I'm just standing around looking stupid. I would rather seem rude on occassion and have people accept that as a quirk of mine than to feel awkward by not being a part of the group.