Banter is particularly difficult .. on the autism spectrum

Post Reply New Topic

I couldn't do it at your age either, but maturity is a wonderful thing.

The media, or what ever drives this youth culture, wants this a kept a secrete though, so don't tell anybody

I am much better at accepting banter but I had to consciously talk myself through it. I'm not good at delivering it because it's just not natural for me and my self consciousness over rides my attempts. It's the same with flirting. I just can't do it. I do think once you know someone well enough you can listen to an "insult" and realize that it is not meant as a serious judgement. My son is very sensitive like me and I have told him I learned that some people tease you because they like you. Also I think you're more apt to react negatively if you secretly suspect the "insult" is true. Banter is an inner circle thing.

This is a stereotype, and about as accurate and unfortunate as most stereotypes. Since before middle school, I have been a non-stop banterer/chatterer. There a lot of things going on in my head, and some sort of quip always seems to come out (unlike some AS people). In school, I racked up record numbers of detentions because of this.

On the other hand, small talk, of the type a group of adults engages in after a dinner party, is extremely irritating to me. In fact, after about a half hour of it, it starts driving me around the bend and I need to get up an leave.

Absolutely, wildgrape – thanks for reminding us!!

A lot can be said about a *group* through statistics, but it tells us NOTHING about any *individual* member of that group. To assume it does is to pre-judge (prejudice)



I have read that up to 60% of an NT conversation is nonverbal. For me, its like reading a book in which 30 – 60% of each page has been randomly cut out.

I think small talk is an exercise in nonverbal communication. I would anticipate that it would be harder than banter, which is more intellectual


Mt profile would be
1. Functional communication
2. Banter
3. Small talk

I'm very good at this.

It gets me called empathic when I'm actually not due to my autism.

Wow.

I couldn't do this until I was some 19 years old though. So I believe that bit abotu how it's hard for those on the spectrum is mostly true.

Same here. I can do banter with people who have the same type of humor as me. I can never do small talk.

I'm not that good at banter in a group when everyone is throwing jokes around. But I can be really good at it with one best friend and with plenty of injokes. I do better with small talk than banter generally.

I know I'm one of the autism spectrum people for whom banter is particularly difficult. It's not always an inner circle thing, or something that'll always arise AFTER people have got to know each other to the extent of familiarity. Sometimes that's the way people talk indiscriminately to everyone, including when first meeting a person, or at least that's how it is in my experience in the culture here.

I have found there are as many Aspies who are good at banter, as there are who struggle with it.

I had a game like that with a friend of mine, we would take turns thinking of the vilest possible insult, while giggling hysterically.

Same here. People insist that they're joking, but I have a hard time believing there's not something real behind it., Maybe because my brain hears things literally, I find it hard to override that. I tend to just feel that I'm being bullied, even if what someone says is genuinely a joke.