Our lack of role models

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None whatsoever. I was always so different that there was no one to look up to. There were a few well meaning people who tried to be a role model or mentor but that quickly fizzled out. Once they realized just how different I was there was nothing they could offer me.

Pinch yourself please, and perhaps him too on occasion.
If YOU can't believe it, someone else might not either.
Your sincerity is admirable, now go tell him.
Before some envious snag occurs.

Beauty is as respectable

as Respect is to beautiful

Go tickle, rejoice, embrace.

From love and admiration, I am inspired.

I've had many fictional and historical role models. All strong independent females. I also have male role models, famous philosophers mostly, and psychiatrists. Kierkegaard is my main man.

In real life, I have had a few who are now dead, an aunt and a friend, both older, mother figures, but very strong and independent. I always look for older women to inspire me.

I've never had a role model but not because I couldn't find one, I've just never really thought about it. I don't understand the point in having role models.
What's one supposed to do for you?

I mean role model as someone whose personality and lifestyle are similar to yours and so you sometimes find yourself (consciously or not) taking decisions that they would take in your situation, acting the way they would act. Not someone you'd like to be, but someone who already is a lot like you. I don't mean someone you admire, look up to, want to be like, etc. Those are not role models but heroes.

It's practically impossible for us Aspies to find people close enough to us in everyday life with whom we have similar values, lifestyles and personalities. This is very easy for mainstream NTs. They're similar to each other even within the same group they were born into, without having to venture looking any further. This, I believe, accounts for much if not most of our isolation and feeling of aloneness/loneliness.

Ah, I see. I don't think I have any of those, at least not any I can come up with after a few minutes' pondering.

lol, yes he is an inspiration to all of us.

but seriously, as an aspiring computer programmer and businessman, i tend to look up to bill gates in some ways, despite how much most people seem to hate him (which is mostly because of things that Microsoft have done, not necessarily him). He did what he did not because he was socially skilled or any crap like that, but because he knew what he needed to know, and was good at what he needed to do, much like myself. He was never a childhood hero though, I only just realised how he was is like me.

I don't see if i accually can have a rolmodel as an aspie.
Aspies with role models usually appear as if they are constantly trying to have one, but also constantly fail. It appears awkward and they always interpret things wrong.
When the role model is an aspie as well, it may go easier, but still its awkward. It's cool when you see simmilarities with other aspies, but it's not the same.
I thought it was essential for being an aspie that you can't have role models in the same way NTs do.

Wait: Jean-Luc Picard may fit here, too...I consider him to be like me in his honesty and personal sense of ethics that does not depend on outside views, in his aversion to social occasions and his desire for solitude, and in his love for books.

In fact, I'd say JLP is quite socially awkward; he's mastered several formal social graces necessary for his position, and he can do them quite well, but he doesn't *enjoy* it. He has a social discomfort that quite clearly says, "I've learned these things, but please, just let me retire to my cabin with a good book." This is very much like me, both in terms of successful NT emulation and the underlying desire to flee.

Of course, being captain of a starship, he's rarely in situations like mine, nor am I ever in situations like his...

ROFL.. yea. Every kid is supposed to want to be more like Michael Jackson. Sorry, that just made me laugh..

how about Albert Einstein? If you're looking for an Autistic one, anyway.

One thing I notice about the majority of my heroes, idols, and inspirations...NONE of them were picture-perfect; they all had their flaws, and screwed up in their own ways, but they were still great regardless

Oh, for role models who are actually like me I have to read classic literature or watch sci fi. Data and Vulcans, for example. Those first occurred in my teens and lasted into adulthood. I had (and still have) no real-life role models who were like myself, and yes it was (and still can be) lonely.

I do have a role model. Sid from Flushed Away, who is pretty much, a small version of myself, but with a black nose, a penis and a tail. :O)

There have been people whose existence gave me hope, but - never having done relationships at all - wanting to be like someone hasn't ever broken the surface. Except that generic NT want - I want what he's got!

All the people one reads of had some kind of support to surmount their difficulties, didn't they? I mean, if one's light remained firmly jammed under an unnoticed bushel all ones life there wouldn't be much writing, would there?

Oh, if they have to be real-life, then I haven't got any, either. The only person who ever came close to having my personality was a girl in high school and college (we both attended the same, and were friends), but I haven't seen her in about twenty years. I don't remember emulating anyone who was like me...mostly, I used people who seemed to be successful out there in the world to emulate. Way of speaking here, way of moving the hands there, way of smiling in this one, way of telling a joke in that one, way of looking sympathetically concerned in that other one....

There is something that I do that might be considered role modeling, or modeling myself after a certain person who is still alive and whom I admire. This person is the actress Goldie Hawn. It's a little difficult to explain in a way that makes sense but I will try by giving you an example.

I go to a party or a big social event of some kind. It doesn't even have to be a party, it can be something as simple as going to a relatives house for dinner, or as stressful as a job interview, anything really where I must interact or socialize. Invariably, whenever I come home from a social situation I have a lot of anxiety about my "performance." In my mind I go over (and over, and over, and over ) everything I said and did in that social arena or peopled environment and I wonder if it was appropriate or not. I say things to myself like "Oh, no. Why did I say that" or " OMG, why did I do that?" or "I made a fool of myself" and on and on with the negative self talk and as I re-run the scene in my head. Well, I have this little trick that I do, to put the matter to rest, a kind of litmus test to help me decide if my social interactions were acceptable or not.

I substitute Goldie Hawn for myself. I run the video through my head with Goldie Hawn playing me and saying and doing everything I said and did at the party, or whatever the social event was. If Goldie can get through it unblemished, If I can watch the video and admire Goldie from beginning to end, if her performance is acceptable (if no one throws tomatoes at her ) and I myself am not appalled by her words or her behavior ....... then I can put the issue to rest and stop driving myself nuts over my own "performance". I realize that this might sound a little bizarre, but it works for me.

So, in a sense, I am modeling myself after Goldie Hawn because I admire her so much. My motto is, "If Goldie can do it, I can do it."