Confidence pissing someone off

Post Reply New Topic

I really don't think it's the tone of voice....I think it's telling them something they don't want to hear. Something that not only goes against everything they've been led to believe..but by presenting the facts right in front of them, leaving them nothing to do but "self-destruct".


It's emotion-based, again. They want to feel important, and when someone else "one-ups" them, they no longer are. God, this IS an NT thing...wow.

In fact, let me give you an example of something that happened with my Dad and my Grandma. My grandma is the eternal complainer. She's also been affiliated with one of the two major US political parties her whole life. In fact, she actually got insulted once--being Jewish--when her co-workers "made fun of her" at work by asking her "so, did you vote for FDR?"

When I heard this, I kept thinking to myself "that is by the far the single lamest insult I've ever heard in my entire life; I'd just be laughing at these ret*ds for coming up with something so bad, it makes Billy Crystal comedy seem bareable"

Nevertheless, my Dad was down in Florida earlier this year assisting my grandma around her house, as she'd broken her hip or something, and needed some help during recovery.

Apparently, all she watches is one of the biased TV news networks( I said one of them 'cause in my mind they're all basically just BS propaganda). Upon hearing some news about something Congress was doing, she started complaining about something, and getting defensive about her point or whatever.

Now...my Dad IMO did possibly one of the most idiotic things in this world that anybody in his position could've done: in his presence was a women in her mid-'80s who was already slowly going senile over time, and had not only been voting a certain way since her early adulthood, but was completely emotionally invested in the ideas distributed by said party.

My Dad actually attempted to debate her, in hopes of "getting thru" to her.

Care to guess how it went?

At first I didn't totally see an issue with him trying to do it...until my Uncle told me she'd been going senile, then I figured out everything else.

So yes, let's re-cap: my Dad actually decided to attempt getting my grandma to understand that "everything she'd been told by her party from the time she was a young child til now was a lie".

Yes, I could see that going over just smashingly well, couldn't you?

Maybe it's that, in order to feel important and informed, they emotionally invest themselves in that issue. Now, hell, everyone does that...but as NTs also tend to use their emotions over logic, maybe they also do it to more of an extent...and actually weight part of their self-worth on it.

Just a thought.

Yeah, like I said "...and actually weight part of their self-worth on it"

Wow, that's pretty intense.

It's one of the main reasons I'm so glad that I'm Autistic, and not NT


And in fairness god I hope there aren't many Aspies like that, as well!

Lots of people resort to complaining about arrogance when they can't think of a valid argument or are too lazy to make one.

We can get that way at times as well I'm sure... just over different things, lol. For instance, my boyfriend seems to think I can up and change my routines, schedules, plans, and everything in one second and be just fine with it, because he is able to adjust easily to switches.

That doesn't work for me, of course, and I'll have a meltdown if too much change is going on at once, or even if it's being suggested or pushed.

I will argue tooth and nail about how I do things and whatnot, but it's not so much an emotional argument. There is a reason for every single thing I do, and I'll throw in there as well "I know it doesn't make much sense, it doesn't make much sense to me either to be honest, and I wish I could just up and switch things around, but I am unable."

Okay, so it's not quite the same extent, but I think you may get the idea. We are moreso upset over things that are big changes, ir technicalities on wording (well, I can't really say "we", I have to say "I" because I don't personally know any of you), rather than emotionally based or opinion based things.

I think for them, their opinions are what they work their life around. They don't see it as an opinion, they see it as truth and nothing but. So when we go and show them differently, they get mad. They no longer have that truth to cling to, get upset or hurt by it somehow, and then blame it on us.

...and I agree, they are much more emotional based about things. I keep using my bf as an example, but in all honesty, he's the only one in RL I talk to, lol, so I have nothing else to go by for the most part.

If I'm upset about something or frustrated, I can tell him it's just a situational thing, and I am not mad or angry at any particular person, except maybe myself at times for not being able to comprehend it. He will call... I kid you not, 5-10 times after that just to ask if I'm mad at him. He takes it very very personally for some reason, and quiet frankly, it drives me up the wall.

If we disagree about something, I'm the only one who will figure out it's an opinion thing and his isn't going to change, so will just ask to drop it 'cuz the argument can go on FOREVER if no facts are able to be provided on either side.

If it's about facts of any sort, he will push his opinion forever, then drop it because he's not motivated enough to actually look up what he is defending, but will still continue to hold the belief.


I wonder if it's beliefs, opinions, and hopes that work their way into their arguments that makes them so upset when it's disrupted. Those are some things people hold very very personally and will usually hear nothing that goes against it... maybe because they know beliefs and opinions can't be backed up by proof much of the time, so it makes it shaky ground for them.