Being Constantly Unsure Of Yourself?

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story of my life. i had it pointed out to me on the job, when dealing with a customer and my boss took me aside and said something to me about it. "You're the expert" is what I was told (that I ought to know more than the customer), but I certainly didn't feel it as I was new to the industry and fairly young at the time. It's something that's really never gone away save for just one or two areas of my life.

I've definitely experienced this with my father, as he's done a pretty job of undermining just about everything I've had aspirations for doing. He wants to know what's going on in my life, and when I tell him he makes remarks like "well, if that doesn't work out you always have [insert something else] to fall back on" (even though I've had a history of failing at that).

Currently trying to plug away at something I want to do, but am fighting a battle of doubt that's being planted in my head... and definitely feeling like I'm being paralyzed by anxiety over it when what I really need is some encouragement from him.

Yes. At best, everything is a probability cloud, threads in the multiverse. At worst .... well let's not go there... but it's almost impossible for me to make sense of people's feedback unless it is very specific, and I trust the person to be sincere and direct, which is rare. And then I have to apply the feedback by making a specific algorithmic adjustment.

There's a restaurant in Davis and the bathrooms are labelled "Sure" and "Unsure" instead of Men & Women. I use the Unsure one.

after having thought about it for a minute, I think I've had this problem in almost EVERY job I've had. I'd often waste a ton of time getting stuck on something, having to ask "what does this mean?" or "can I do this?", "will that work?", or "what you do think of this idea I want to do?".

My most recent job I had a lot of this going on, as it was far from a natural skill for me. In construction? Definitely. I had a good sense of what to do, but often had lots of doubts as to how to do it.

Oh yes. Additionally, in areas of expertise, I often make my answers more hesitant and vague than I know they should be, because nobody likes a smartarse.

All the time. This is part of the reason for me to post a message recently on the subjects of frustration and anger.

I just find that at times my judgement is incorrect, therefore, I do not trust my instincts.

I almost constantly feel unsure.

yep same here. also like a previous poster said i fake unsureness when it is something i know or can intuitively tell.

Yes but that's why I've learned not to talk where such instances might arise. In those few instances when I've had to, equalised the issue by simply not caring what others thought. Probably not good in the long run but helps here.

So I was wondering... what is this condition or kind of behavior called?

I'm either unsure or overly sure. Never in between. The overly sure part pisses ppl off because they think that I'm cocky or feel like I'm always right.

Yes, all the time and that's probably why I will remain forever single and friendless. Everybody tells me I need to be more confident and not care about what others think but I can't get this quote out of my head. To paraphrase Bertrand Russell:

When it's something technical or work-related, I can usually be fairly confident about giving definite answers. When it comes to relationships with people, it's always "I think" or "I guess."

I learned a long time ago to phrase requests to a significant other in the form of "would you mind doing X?" or "how do you feel about Y?" instead of even saying "I think" or "will you?"

Damn, I've got exactly the same issue.