Do you have a problem answering basic questions?

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ruveyn
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22 Aug 2009, 7:42 am

WoodenNickel wrote:
I have the opposite problem. My boss asks me yes/no questions, which I answer exactly. I have no clue that he wants more information, unless he specifically asks me.


One time I was asked if I were staying late for work or going home to supper at the usual time. I answered: "yes". I have since learned when to elaborate the answer to a "simple" question.

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NOBS
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22 Aug 2009, 7:53 am

aspieconfirmed wrote:
Plesae explain how going into a little detail when asked a question is "on the spectrum"?


There is a subtle, often indicernable to aspies, difference between telling someone the time and telling them how the watch was built. I and many posters on this site fall into the latter catagory. Stick around and you'll see what I mean.



zeldapsychology
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22 Aug 2009, 8:36 am

NOBS wrote:
aspieconfirmed wrote:
Plesae explain how going into a little detail when asked a question is "on the spectrum"?


There is a subtle, often indicernable to aspies, difference between telling someone the time and telling them how the watch was built. I and many posters on this site fall into the latter catagory. Stick around and you'll see what I mean.



Good point NOBS thanks. :-)



Dragonfly_Dreams
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22 Aug 2009, 9:31 am

Yep. I tend to overshare and put in far too many details that people don't care about, but I can't NOT add them because they seem very important to me. Or some days I barely answer at all, or on my worst days just make some random vocalization like a grunt or a groan to express my frustration.

Example:

Random person "How are you today?"
Me "*grunt*"

Translation: I'm not having a good day and I don't want to talk.
Of course, grunting and other non verbal responses aren't taken too kindly in the NT world. They usually look at me quite odd unless they know me. And then they know to respond back with, "That bad huh?" LOL


Course when I ask a question, I don't care to hear a detailed response. (I can barely get up enough to care to ask the question in the first place. LOL) So other people giving a simple answer is best. Usually they answer but then topic skip and suddenly I find myself in a 20 minute session of someone ranting.

:roll:



anxiety25
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22 Aug 2009, 10:07 am

Dragonfly, that is precisely why I just don't ask unless I really do want to know, and it's only with people I know... that still isn't that common. My bf asks me if I'm going to ask how his day went.

I've always had issues with people asking me how I'm doing, because often, it's strangers asking... I generally just look at them and don't respond at all, because there is no way they could *actually* want to know if they don't know me to begin with. It's also annoying because it seems to be used as just another way to say "hi", so people say it way too often.

I've always said I'd love it if someone would say. "Hey, how's it going? I just want the typical 'fine' response because I don't have time to for a real response, nor do I actually want to know, I just say it to sound polite."
...and if it's someone I know, often they don't really have time to listen either, so I would like them to tell me, "Hey, how's it going? I'm in the middle of a bunch of stuff and only have 5 minutes to listen, so.... 1, 2, 3-GO!"


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Bonny
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22 Aug 2009, 1:45 pm

I run into trouble a lot for over-answering a question. If I keep my answers brief and to the point. - some people think I am being aggressive.

Before Dx I thought people would stop me if they didn't want the response....,body language gave me the awarenes that i'd gone too far in that Q & A interaction.

I have only been able to be NT- like ~ "appropriate" by learning some glib statements and assessing situation/person as to whether this recipe approach would be workable. But that doesn't work much either b/c I'm then accused of being a fake...such a reaction I can understand!

When I was little - and had no idea about the existance of ASDs, to avoid Q&As i would just be silent- hardly talked at all in public.

I'm thinking of taking up silence again when among NTs as their Qs want a sound grab of an answer about which they don't much care anyway.