Sorry about your loss, I know the feeling. Most of my cats during the years have been hit by cars, since I live by a road with somewhat heavy traffic. So I got a dog instead, more easy to control.
You must not bury yourself in the mourning. A good advice when one loose a pet, is to get a new one as soon as possible
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I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez