Do You Tell Your Employer You Have AS?

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I'm self-employed so I can't keep much from my boss.

I don't see Asperger's as a dysfunction or something negative, I see it as having a different set of positive qualities. So if I was employed by someone else I wouldn't feel the need to share it as being something that needs disclosing. Some things don't need to be talked about unless it's going to negatively affect job performance. Like if I had a 6th toe, sure it would be different but it wouldn't affect my job. Maybe that's a bad example but that's how I see it.

I have decided that I want to tell my boss I have AS. I've worked at this job for over a year, and I'm a single mother and I really depend on this job to survive.

But my boss has been picking on me about not talking, and he's getting kind of mean. And we've had some breakdowns in verbal communication. He's one of those people who is extremely good at talking, and I"m pretty sure that most of the time what he says has a hidden meaning that just goes over my head.

So I'm in a scary situation. I need to advocate for myself, because I could see myself getting fired for not following verbal instructions. But it is because instructions are being given very cryptically, and if he understood that I can only hear what he actually says, it would smooth things out.

(Ok, this is going to get verrrrry long, so if you don't like novels, stop reading now. I apologize already.)

This is how I feel about it also. I have wanted to be "up front" about it rather than waiting for something bad to happen and then have to say "I have Asperger's" and have that be seen as an excuse for behavior.

I'm extremely lucky. I have worked in the same place for five years, and was dx'd about 3 years ago. So i had a mostly-good history at this job before my diagnosis, although there were any number of rough moments and some unexplainable incidents. Still, my bosses and co-workers put up with me, and there wasn't anything serious enough to warrant getting rid of me, and I was doing good work for them.

Awhile after I got diagnosed, I got a new supervisor. He was an "outsider." I figured it'd be best if he knew, and since he was new and I wasn't, it'd be really hard for him to fire me "just because." By the time I told him, he already knew that I do excellent work... and that I'm more than slightly "different." I started the conversation by explaining that I have this neurological kink called Asperger Syndrome that affects communication, imagination, and social interaction, and here's what it looks like at work. I then gave some examples of the good and the bad. It was a good and productive conversation. This guy knew a fair bit about AS, and was more than willing to allow me to use white-noise headphones and work by myself most of the time.

I also had a more direct supervisor who was also "in the know." This guy knew *nothing* about AS but was willing to listen. Again, I had worked there for some time before I told him, and I believe the good history really helped. Still, I think it was necessary for him to know, so I could say "It would be best for all of us if I clocked out and went for a walk for half an hour so that I can come back calmer and less overwhelmed" rather than just a) stomping off or b) having some sort of incident that might cost me my job.

Recently I was offered a new job in a different department, with people who I knew on a very limited basis. (The company is small -- about 55 people -- so we all know everybody else in some fashion, but we don't all work together.) Anyway, I was both really excited and really terrified about this, as my new job would involve people who don't really know me, far less structure, way different expectations, lots of meetings, and totally different types of interactions with people. It was my dream job staring me in the face, yet my gut said "uh oh."

After some consideration, and with misgivings, I agreed to take the job. I knew right away that I'd have to tell my new supervisor, as this job was going to be "harder" in an AS sort of way than my old job. But when to tell? And how? If I told *before* my official start date, he would then have an excuse to retract the job offer. If I told *after* the date, he might accuse me of not telling him something important. If I waited until something bad happened, that might get me fired.

I talked with my direct supervisor about this. We talked about what aspects of AS were going to really make themselves known in my new job, and how I might deal with them, and what sorts of accommodations I might ask for. But how and when to tell? We couldn't decide.

Later that day, he came up to me and said "Why don't *I* tell your new boss?" What a great idea! Boss to boss communication. Excellent. I gave permission, and then stayed out of the way.

The conversation happened later that day, without me present. My new supervisor listened carefully for awhile, then interrupted and said, "We can do X and Y and Z for blastoff, and that'll be helpful...." He got really excited, and finally said, "I have a nephew with AS, and I know exactly what this means in the workplace. This is great! I know there are some things that are going to be difficult, but on balance I like these traits...."

So. WOW.

All that to say: I am the most fortunate employee in the world. Also: things may not be as bad as you think with a supervisor. You might get lucky. I did.

Thanks for that blastoff, much food for thought

I have no plan to tell my employer... yet... I think he could handle the situation, in our discussions he has often described me as having "personality traits that he just cant figure out". Ive worked for this company for 9 years and known him for 8. He has watched me climb the corporate ladder from dishwasher to the restauarant manager. my loyalty and dedication to the hotel can never be questioned, and my work has spoken for itself.

All that being said im still not comfortable yet, being that I havent told anyone. but I'd like to someday