Empathy and fashion

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just wondering......

if everyone else's opinion is just "balls", why do so many of us (me included) respond to expressions of those opinons with depression, low self esteem, etc.?

i'm not having a go, katana, just saying that we all seem to feel the need for approval at times - even me, the arch misanthrope



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Cindy I think this is related to the "empathy" thing, but it is definately the positive side of it. Part of empathy and nonverbal communication is tuning in to people. Fashion is one way that people do this, and it also seems kinda pointless to me.

Most people are sheepish. They have a synchronising system in their brains which we seem to be lacking to some degree. So we are free from social trends, but because of our freedom we are also somewhat isolated.
I think that the isolation naturally can lead to depression. I don't really care what other people think of me, but I am still lonely. And the opinions of the masses give me little hope that I will escape my loneliness.

Comfort before style.
I could care less what I have on.

Some fashionably dressed women, one might discover, are high perfectionists. Not only must they be dressed perfectly; but also they must speak eloquently, be kind and gracious, etc. They feel tremendous pressure to conform to external ideals. Some of them are highly conscientious and empathetic, too; but, for many of them, the stress of peer conformance gets to them and makes them a bit, well, crabby.

i'm a "lazy perfectionist", if you will. if i wasn't so low in energy i'd buy more clothes, put more effort into my appearance etc etc. right now i don't have a lot of clothes and since i'm a goth most of it is black anyway but it could be better stuff. wearing stuff i like makes me feel more confident. i hate trends but i love nice clothes.

i'd say that those who wear trendy crap and expect others to wear what they wear aren't exactly the most empathetic people around.

i like your clothes, they seem to be pretty smart!

It seems to me that the idea of 'fashion' is against 'empathy'. For one thing, the cutting edge of fashion is inherently elitist, which means that by definition, only a few can take part in it at the level required to be truly 'fashionable'. For another thing, the 'also-ran' aspects of it, the high-street spin-offs and facsimile copies are marketed on the basis of selling to all those who want to be 'a part of something', but know they cannot be, so they settle for 'inferior' imitation of their 'ideal'.

The real irony here is that in its truest sense, 'fashion' is supposed to be 'cutting edge', experimental and perhaps even subversive. That is supposed to be one of the appealing aspects of it. Unfortunately (for wannabee 'fashion victims'), it seems that much of what is deemed to be 'fashion' is only a pattern-part facsimile reproduction of 'fashion'.

It seems that far from attempting to create an 'empathetic bond' of 'inclusivity and togetherness', fashion serves as a demarcation betwen the 'in-crowd' and the rest. It is perhaps slightly amusing (well, it is to me anyway), that those who are most likely to criticise those of us who do not obey the second-hand edicts of fashion are those who are not really on the 'cutting edge' of fashion in the first place; they are the ones who are buying 'pattern part' imitations in the high street, trying to pass themselves off as something they are not, then roundly castigating those who refuse to particpate in the games these people play in order to define themselves.

In earlier times, we would be painting our faces, styling our hair, or doing other 'tribalistic' things to differentiate 'friend' from 'foe'.

One thing I liked about life after high school is I'm free to choose what I want to wear without worrying about being castigated by everyone else for it. I spent most of my college years in jeans and sweat/t-shirt, every now and then, buying something stylish, but because I thought it looked nice, not to please anyone else.

I just got a job after being chronically under-employed for the past few years so I'm really looking forward to buying much needed clothing. However, instead of Fende or Ralph Lauren, it's thrift store and sale rack for me if I can help it. It doesn't make a bit of sense to me why people are willing to spend a fortune on designer clothing just to look cool and be seen. I'd rather keep my money and use it for hobbies instead of spending all my cash just to have someone's name on my shirt.

Another thing I will not wear, even on my wedding day, are high heel shoes. Whoever came up with those torture devices should've been brought to trial for crimes against humanity. And who's bright idea was it to put underwires in all the pretty bras and make the comfortable ones look like something your grandma would wear, Satan?

I doubt fashion is connected with empathy... maybe with self-consioussness or lack there of.

And there's the whole gender difference. Guys, in general, don't care much for fashion. Girls, in general, like to shop.

(sorry about the broad generalizations )

i'm wearing black boots on my wedding day

What drives me nuts is I go out of my way to be UNfashionable, then things I wear get popular! And people ask me how I "predicted" the fashion!

I've done it a dozen times, I swear, If I got into gorilla suits they woud be big next fall. : /

Yup.

When occasionally people compliment my choice of shoes, I

oh i know! i'm not trendy like clotheswise or in anyway and that's the way i like it, but it's become so trendy to be untrendy that i dunno what to do anymore!

Yeah. I do try to make myself look "nice" but I think a lot of the current fashions for young women are butt-ugly. So, I wear what i think looks nice, it may be fashionable, it may not.



Although technically that's kind of letting yourself be controlled by fashion in the OPPOSITE way, isn't it?

I get confused about myself! I don't do teenage stuff with my hair, and I don't wear makeup unless it's for a special occasion, but I think I dress 'well': not always the latest fashion, but I have my own sense of style which I like and apparently it's 'appropriate'! I have an internal inventory of shops that sell trendy stuff cheap: I have been known to get tops, vests, skirts, even knee length coats for between $4 and $10!

Sometimes I get a bit jealous of other people for having the money to buy brand names, but mostly I think it's just stupid to spend $100 on a ripped, paint spattered jacket, simply because it has 'ripcurl' stenciled into it, rather than spending $12 on a nice, knitted acrylic jacket. It also makes more sense because although the quality may not be as good, it makes sense to not spend heaps on something that will be 'out of fashion' within a year anyway!

I'll admit it. Up until about my senior year of high school, I was overly concerned with fashion. Since then, I've moved so far away from that that I'm approaching "slob" territory - which I know is not a good thing. Still, I generally try to look good whenver possible - I just don't go for a particular look.

And I basically agree with almost everything said in this thread.