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ChangelingGirl
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21 Sep 2009, 6:30 am

In my culture, it is not appropriate to use these words against someone who is not a close friend/family, unless you are trying ot flirt with them. I hate these words indeed.



Tim_Tex
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21 Sep 2009, 7:29 am

I get called those things, but it doesn't bother me.


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Henriksson
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21 Sep 2009, 7:30 am

ChangelingGirl wrote:
In my culture, it is not appropriate to use these words against someone who is not a close friend/family, unless you are trying ot flirt with them. I hate these words indeed.

Same here. Calling a colleague or something a sweetheart would be very inappropriate indeed. I kind of think words like that lose meaning somewhat in America and so on.


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21 Sep 2009, 7:32 am

Uhura wrote:
Do any of you have problems with people calling you things like that? I'm ok with my parents calling me that but people who work in stores, restaurants, etc....It's like they are trying to get into my life and I want to scream something like 'Don't call anyone that unless they are your family and very young'.

I even heard someone at the store calling my mom 'dear' once and she's an NT. Is hating those terms an Aspie trait? Or do NT's and Aspies both have it? Didn't bother my mom, I don't think.


No but it only depends upon the flippn context they use it in.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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21 Sep 2009, 9:14 am

For a while, no one called me hun. Sweetheart I don't get called, ever. Hun is something else entirely. Strangers have been calling me "hun" a lot lately. It doesn't bother me, I just wonder why I never got called "hun" and, suddenly, I hear it all the time. "How ya doin', Hun?"



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21 Sep 2009, 10:22 am

I don't mind at all. Way on down South here in North Carolina I'm referred as honey, hon, sweetheart, sugar, and sweety-pie constantly. But I'm not referred as such by my family since they're of Swiss descent, so I'm given French names.
It pretty much grew on me after living here for 10+ years.



seaequalsdancer
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21 Sep 2009, 10:30 am

southwestforests wrote:
Wonder how much of it might be an age and/or cultural or regional thing?


Yeah I was going to say this as well. I live in the Mid-Atlantic where calling someone you don't really know honey, darling, sweetheart, etc would be kind of strange, but in other places like the South it is commonplace. So I think it is more of a cultural/regional thing than something that is typical of the the population in general. The only people I generally hear using these terms with unfamiliar people are usually not from this area originally. Though I understand how it may be confusing if you can't pick up on the intention of it, like it is just an informal greeting that person commonly uses or are they some sleezeball? Like with men I do personally think it can come off in a bad way regardless of intent unless they are like geriatric, but with other women using those terms in reference to me I don't care.

Personally I hate being called ma'am, mostly because it makes me feel old and I know I'm not the only person in my age group and beyond where I am from who feels the same way (I'm in my late 20s). However I know that the people who are saying aren't meaning to insult me in any way. They are just giving what they have been taught is a respectful greeting and I know in some places/cultures you are taught to call any women you don't know ma'am. However in some places it is seen as more of a term you would use when referring to a woman who is much older. So I try not to let it bother me and just think they are being polite and move along.



i_wanna_blue
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21 Sep 2009, 10:37 am

Well I don't mind it when people close to me call me by my nickname, which is just a variant of my real name. Sometimes my parents call me 'boy' or 'son' but in another language.

It does feel weird though if people I don't know all that well, should call me by anything else, if they do know my name.



kc8ufv
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21 Sep 2009, 11:55 am

I don't rally think about it when it's coming from soneone I don't know, though I sppuse that generally sweetie or sweetheart usually come from someone of a much older generation. now, what sometimes can be annoying is that my one friend has been a feminine dimunitive at the end of my relatively gender-neutral nickname, after her 3yo son started doing it.



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21 Sep 2009, 2:25 pm

Thank you for making this thread.

I hate this crap. It rarely happens anymore when I'm dining alone, but it used to much more often. My family and I will be in a restaurant and a waitress will do this sh** to me. "Now what would you like to drink, hun?" And in such a soft voice. Insulting. And I'm 20, not to mention now and then it will be a chick I wouldn't mind jumping in bed with.
Sometimes my foot will be sticking out from under the table, it's a bad habit. And when the waitress stands at our table to take our orders, the waitress' foot might touch mine, and I'll just casually move it out of the way to give her room. And she'll speak in the softest, sweetest voice possible, and say "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie."

WTF.

And then some waitresses will ask my parents, "Now what would the kids like to eat?" My brother is only 12, but I'm f**kin' 20!!

By now I'm thinking, "You're quite the babe. Is there a backroom with no cameras? And a lock on the door? Because I can assure you, I'm no child."


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21 Sep 2009, 10:33 pm

I particularly dislike being called, "Sir." I feel that the term is self-belittling on the part of the speaker. While I realize that 'sir' is a formal title of sorts, I feel very awkward when someone degrades himself by, in a sense, placing himself below me.



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21 Sep 2009, 10:52 pm

It annoys me, but I think I've only been called that by strangers.



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21 Sep 2009, 11:47 pm

I did not use to like it, but now I do, my neighbors call me sweetie, honey, hon, etc, I like it a lot, hehe! It makes me feel special and loved.


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22 Sep 2009, 12:29 am

I do not like it very much but I prefer it to when they use my actual name. People I know well or the extremely rare people I like right away I do not mind using my name. It seems loud and piercing when other people use my name.
I also dislike calling people by their first name. I prefer to avoid adressing people by any name when talking to them.

I do not know if that is an aspie trait or if I am just odd. :P



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22 Sep 2009, 12:37 am

I have tend to prefer dialogue to conform to the relationship of the people involved. If we are friends or family, then appropriate endearments do not bother me, but were someone I do not know (or know only casually) to refer to me as honey or dear, I would find it condescending or inappropriate and it would and does annoy me.


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22 Sep 2009, 12:48 am

Kaysea wrote:
I particularly dislike being called, "Sir." I feel that the term is self-belittling on the part of the speaker. While I realize that 'sir' is a formal title of sorts, I feel very awkward when someone degrades himself by, in a sense, placing himself below me.


I don't see the use of sir or ma'am as degrading. I believe it shows a level of respect that does not necessarily indicate a social hierarchy.
Using these terms of respect (as I see them) does not inherently imply unequal social standings.


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