Close contact w/ Adult, almost certainly undiagnosed Aspie..

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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29 Sep 2009, 10:10 am

There's one way to handle this...and some might call it the "NT" way. Instead of confronting him about it, at first, talk about it, but don't refer to him. Instead of saying "Has anyone told you you might have Asperger's Syndrome?", say, "I read about this mild form of autism called 'Asperger's Syndrome" it's incredible what some of them can do"...and you bs and gauge his reaction to what you are saying the way NTs do. If he reacts in a negative way, you can drop it. If he is positive or interested or says, "hey, my _______ read about it and said she thinks I might be undiagnosed!". you can continue on the "Aspie" course without fear of him shutting down or avoiding.



Rakshasa72
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29 Sep 2009, 10:19 am

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
There's one way to handle this...and some might call it the "NT" way. Instead of confronting him about it, at first, talk about it, but don't refer to him. Instead of saying "Has anyone told you you might have Asperger's Syndrome?", say, "I read about this mild form of autism called 'Asperger's Syndrome" it's incredible what some of them can do"...and you bs and gauge his reaction to what you are saying the way NTs do. If he reacts in a negative way, you can drop it. If he is positive or interested or says, "hey, my _______ read about it and said she thinks I might be undiagnosed!". you can continue on the "Aspie" course without fear of him shutting down or avoiding.


I guess that's the way I found out. I turned on the radio one day and, I heard the DJ talking about an Asperger's book he read. I'm thinking "Hey, that sounds like me!" Then I went and looked it up online; took a few of the tests. Now I'm not sure of where I want to go with it. Asking for help isn't one of my strong points. Just the knowledge of having Asperger's isn't that helpful either.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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29 Sep 2009, 10:36 am

That's a good point, Rakshasa72. Where does the OP plan on going with all this. What if the guy is, indeed, an Aspie? Will it help to call him out at work? I suggest doing all this in a way that promotes the confidentiality and privacy of the coworker.



Dancyclancy
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30 Sep 2009, 1:57 am

It seems the guy has given plenty of openings by saying he is different. Next time he remarks upon being "different" that would be the time to say something like " yes you are a bit different, do you think it gives you any problems"?
Let him relate how he sees it for him in his life.

Or you could say " you know how you reckon you're different, well I was reminded of you when I saw ... a film....read abook.... there was a guy who was different sort of in a way like you are. It turns out that he has this unusual condition where he's just wired a bit different.... it caused some difficulties in his life at times, but then when he found out that he had this particular syndrome, Aspergers, it helped him handle things. Have you ever heard of Aspergers Syndrome"?

I'd reckon that would be a pretty honest and direct ( non patronising ) way to tell him and by asking him if he has heard of AS you are both respecting him and including him in the conversation opener.
What do you reckon? : :idea:



Dilbert
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30 Sep 2009, 3:49 am

I'd let the guy know in a way that would not expose me to liability at work.

I'd send him an anonymous e-mail with a link to aspergers wiki article and/or to a particular topic on WP. Let him figure it out.



Warsie
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30 Sep 2009, 2:41 pm

Electric_Kite wrote:
I suggest you either say something along the lines of, "Ever think you might be a little autistic?" or leave it alone.


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