Do you NOT like negative people?

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100% agreed. I believe Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys came up with a good term for this kind of NEGATIVE optimism.


"Zen Fascism"

I don't know what kind of advice to offer the OP. Just to say, don't let your sister's health issues keep you from being happy and optimistic. Be kind to her. Tell her you are sorry she's not feeling well. Ask if there is anything you can do to help her or make her feel better. There's not much more you can do than that.

Last edited by cosmiccat on 09 Oct 2009, 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

No problem with that. It becomes a problem when people think everyone is CAPABLE of "looking at the positives". Even if they are capable, do they always have valid reasons to view every situation through rose-colored glasses? Accepting less-than desirable situations we cannot change seems like valid enough reason enough for many, but maybe others are simply incapable of accepting the same things. Perhaps the former types are somehow "spiritually" or "morally" superior to the latter types....and perhaps not.


I'm afraid we still don't know enough about the human person to make any final determinations in that regard.


Until if/when we do....i'd say our judgements about others, good or bad, are pointless and counterproductive.

This is exactly how I feel I'm angry she always tends to be negatvie and am at the point why bother saying are you feeling well today since I probably already know the answer is No. Of course I still like being optimistic and I agree we can't change each other but also like you said I care for her health and based from experience her negative attitude wouldn't help healing if she was in the hospital. Thanks for your post.

This is exactly what this cultish belief in the "power of positive thinking" does, it forces people to lie about their circumstances. It forces them to deny their woes out of fear of ostracism. Such fear is well-founded in our society....no matter how dire someone's troubles are. They will always be viewed as venerable heroes if they smile their way through every sorrow and cowardly villians if they frown.

Sure it's POSSIBLE. But can we be CERTAIN it's possible for EVERYONE?


If so...then we've just solved the age-old philosophical argument of free will vs. determinism....and free will won.

So true. There is a lot of talk here on WP about trying to get people to accept who we are. That's all fine and good, but it does need to go both ways. We have to accept other people's styles, coping strategies, and approaches in the hopes that we would want them to do the same for us. We may not agree on everything (in fact I hope we don't), we but can at least understand each other enough to know how to have good dialog.

LMAO... I'm a Zennist and that's not what I'd call Zen Facism--which is more along the lines of "BE the pain" ...

I'd be more inclined to call it New Age flu... it seems highly infectious and it makes me want to spew.

I for one am one of those people who does not accept myself for what I am. Whether I *can* do so or not is beside the point. Obviously I can't speak for others, so I don't know how they would feel if they were in my shoes. All I know is that my life is pretty darn hellish to me and I don't know how anyone can learn to accept hell. I haven't killed myself, so to that extent, i've accepted it. I see no way out of this hell...but that doesn't mean i've stopped trying to find one either. I will keep trying until my dying day, but that doesn't mean i'm able to whistle a happy tune while i'm trying. Considering even some meager sense of well-being would be most welcome in my case, then I can't possibly imagine why i'm not willing to admit some if I am able to do so.

I dont necessarily believe in positive thinking. Life can pack one hell of a punch at times. If you can tell yourself that is all good well fine but a lot of people arent built like that.

I do believe in accepting yourself fully though no matter what the perceived flaws and faults. I think if we accept ourselves then optimism may become an accidental side effect...

or maybe not, but if it doesnt we will be able to make the best of our cynicism and realism and write something funny about our troubles, or parade our flaws around publicly so that someone can see it and realise "Perhaps its ok to be open with (x perceived flaw)."

I tend to be negative but most of the time I am joking. Like give the worst case scenario all the time. If I am being negative and not kidding it's mostly because I am being realist.

It's a pretty insulting strain too. This is why I have a problem with the whole new-age movement. It tries to present itself as somehow less self-ghteous and judgmental than the Judeo-Christian belief systems. It just strikes me as a more dishonest way of "blaming the victim". To my mind, things like the concept of karma are just another desperate way of rationalizing injustice and suffering.


If convenient and comfortable spiritual justifications are truly the best we can do as species, perhaps we cannot justify human existence in the first place. To my mind, all such justifications make it very easy for the "fortunate souls" of this world to continue wallowing in greed, superfluous materialism and hedonistic nihilism.

I am not naive about all this though, if humankind suddenly disgarded all it's spiritual pipe-dreams, it would just find another justification for it's indifference (and in the case of the sadistic among us....it's love for) to suffering and injustice. That would probably come in the form of indifference and nihilism itself, a "nothing is true, everything is permitted" attitude.


And herein lies my own reasons for pessimism and misanthropy....perhaps human existence can't be justified anyway we slice it.


*shrugs*

As its generally understood, I quite agree.

I wonder at your statement "justification of human existence". I frankly don't see how justification comes into it, anymore than the existence of an amoeba needs to be "justified". It simply is.

Humans exist, that's a simple fact. The way they assign meaning to that is merely an exercise in either religion or politics, both mental constructs elaborated by the [gasp] human mind.

It's amusing to contemplate a paramecium wondering about the justification of its existence.

I would much rather someone be honest with me than lie about their feelings, ESPECIALLY a family member I'm close to. If they're in pain and unhappy, their feelings about the situation are more important than how I feel about how they express those feelings.

I'm a person who most would consider objectively negative. If I'm not happy, you'll probably know, if not through what I say then from how I'm acting. But this is how I see it - when you weigh the stuff that's made and continues to make me unhappy on a semi-regular basis against how I actually express that unhappiness, it would make me look like I was dancing around with an idiotic smile on my face 24/7 to "Happy Happy Joy Joy." Honestly. I haven't gone on a rampage, I haven't killed myself or even self-injured, I haven't given up on my ideals or plans for life. I just ask the world to permit me a good gripe when I need it and not get on my case about it or try to cheer me up.

On the other hand, people have noticed that I accept other people's negative emotions pretty well. If something is worth getting upset about, I'm upset for the person and can understand why they're upset. Maybe it's a "sympathy vs. empathy" thing again - I have the sympathy part, but not the full empathy part, and thus it doesn't hurt as much as it does most people.