Your funniest Asperger's moment

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I thought the same thing when reading your post.

I'm gonna post one my son did in the 3rd grade.

The teacher asked a question about something they had just read. My son raised his hand and the teacher called on his. His response was that our van was broken and it would cost one thousand dollars to fix it. There was no connection in anyway. Completely off topic. And one of the things his teacher noted and took with her to the IEP meetings while he was being evaluated.

Possibly a comorbid -related -sleep -disordered- anecdote here.

Once ( 24 years ago) ,in the evening, I drove away from a petshop to go home at only about 20 minutes away.
I all of a sudden found myself driving in the dark down an unknown road and totally unaware of what happened .
I had to find an intersection and then a gas station to get a map to find out where I was to get home.
I was 2 hours off course at my arrival.
Either I spaced out for balance of two hours or fell asleep at the wheel and 'slept-drove'? .......... (I would sleepwalk a lot when I was younger and was even capable of holding conversations ;writing letters, and then to do an abrupt ending and go back to bed and not remember a thing. )

One time some relatives were having a chat with my parents and me and a couple of my siblings. The topic came up of some cousins of mine who had bought a house and were putting in new flooring.

Now for some reason, my brain thought it was 'fur' flooring. Which of course doesn't exist. And I was like, "Wouldn't that be hard to clean?"

Then I realized they meant FIR flooring (the wood, from Fir Trees) and we all had a good laugh because my brain thought 'fur'. I didn't mind, my brain does things like that every now and then. And that WAS funny. Hahaha fur flooring.

I was in a AS support group and we were talking about dating. The counselor said something about what restaurant you pick could imply how serious the date was. He gave an example with taking the date to [some place I don't remember] or "The Golden Arches".

My reply was "well I've never been to the Golden Arches, but it sounds like a nice place."

Yeah... I can't believe I didn't catch it. He was talking about McDonald's.

Cant remember the movie.

Canadian guy moves to the US to take up the Manager position at a Grocery chain outlet (working at a big grocery store, not a store that sells Grocery chains )

Anyway he had to attend the corporate 'team building' course.....................yes I know, my idea of hell too.




Everyone stood in a circle and was told to place the large paper grocery bag on their head and THEN............to take off something that they didnt need.

Everyone except the Canadian Manager, took off the bag.


He took off his watch...........

When prompted by the NT tormentor (I mean team building leader) to take off one more thing..............he took off his tie, his jacket...............it stopped at his boxers


I couldnt help wondering if I would have done the same I mean, werent we supposed to be taking stuff off that noone else could see????????????????

Two of my favourite glitches in conversation:

1.
Person A said something positive to me about Person B (who was more connected to me than to Person A, and was absent).
I said "thank you," as if it were a compliment to me. (It's as if I got the "it's a compliment" part, but not the "compliment to someone else" part.)
I instantly realized what I'd done and tried to backpedal. It was a little bit embarrassing, but also rather funny.

2.
One of my fellow graduate students was giving a class presentation. The student ahead of me passed a copy of the handout back to me. In response to receiving the handout, I said, "Héllò" instead of "thankyou" - and then, "oops, waitaminute, thankyou". The presenting student asked, "what?" and I explained the situation. She said she'd thought that perhaps I was saying hello to the handout itself.

I don't know if stories of absentmindedness count, but I have some good ones of that too.

Probably when my brother asked me how it went the day he knocked at the door and scared the s**t out of me and my ex-girlfriend, he told me that I should be careful while visiting the black hole. And I was like "What? What black hole?" Using the visual mind didn't help that much as it was black hole, can't believe the abstract thinking would lead to a vagina. Good use of abstract thinking.

Some kids started harassing me many years ago when I went down to Florida to visit my family; we were at a beach. I literally said to the kids "didn't anyone ever tell you to fight with words, instead of threats?"( yeah, I was really a naive guy back then),

to which they then responded with "did anyone ever tell you you're a dork?"...

to which I literally responded with "yes, all the time!" in a polite manner

beat that

Denzel Washington kept using a phrase in 'Training Day' that would certainly be warranted here and frankly seems to dispense with a lot of unnecessary vocabulary.

Of course, since it has so many different meanings depending on context, it would probably just add to our confustion.


My response will be a simple: 'Nice one'

In the movie, Denzel would have given a very hearty.....................MN (vowels and most consonants omitted)


10 points if you are wondering if that is the correct spelling of consonant

50 extra points if you are now googling to check it

I'm confused, I confess. But I think you miss my point.

I didn't say it sarcastically, or even with sarcastic intent. I literally just said it to acknowledge the question. Told ya...I was naive back then...

I realised your final retort to the NTs was sarcastic.

Nevertheless Denzell and me stand by our very hearty MN (it's a very versatile expression)


You can be 'awarded' and MN for things that you do deliberately and by accident.

But I realise that Aspies are often doing things by mistake

NO, that's the thing..my final response wasn't sarcastic.

Sorry., typo, should have read wasn't

But ditto on the MN anyway

so, what does MN mean anyway?

I'm not saying, which probably blows all my cred as a blurting Aspie