How do I avoid the "What do you do?" question?

Post Reply New Topic

A: What do you do?
B: I work for a non-profit.
A: Nice! And what does the non-profit do?
B: We fight for equal rights for people who refuse to be defined by their occupation.

A: What do you do?
B: I'm retired.
A: At your age?
B: Yes, at my age.
A: You sure are lucky!
B: Yes, I sure am.

I promise you, they won't say one word more.

That they'll find you strange? Well, if you're like me, they'll find you strange whatever you do or say, so no loss there.

This is a real conversation I had some time ago:

A: What do you do?
Me: Nothing.
A: Then how do you live?
Me: I don't.

It's important to keep it brief, and talk with a straight, official face, tone and no body language. The slightest apologetic body language or tone and you'll be fried (mockery, further questioning, whining about your character, etc.) I spent 8 years researching this and trying different approaches. I also live in a country where your personal data is considered public property. You must answer all smalltalk questions.

well when they're asking specifically about me, I flat-out tell 'em I own a busines. It's great word of mouth advertising, and I'm proud to admit to being a business owner...especially selling the type of merchandise that I do

I have seen a couple of 'Jesse Stone' movies, a Police Chief of a small town played by Tom Selleck.

Not sure if he is AS but he does have the perfect way to kill a conversation before it starts.

He answers all questions with one word (mostly just yes and no but some limited variety)

For the benefit of Aspies, one of the characters points out to him that this is considered rude (I didnt know that )

It's very powerful and probably more effective than f*** *ff

I've tried it on a few people that I particularly don't like and it works


I learned another technique from an aloof NT

In answer to ANY question, simply repeat back the LAST word of the question

I experienced the one word end of this and I felt like something being examined under a microscope............horrible............

"It's a long story."

*sigh* Much awkwardness.

"What do you do?"
"When?"

"What do you do?"
"About what?"

"What do you do?"
"Why do you ask?"

"What do you do?"
"A little as possible!"

"What do you do?"
"As much as possible."

"What do you do?"
"Anything I can."

"What do you do?"
"Look for answers to questions."

Point: There is no right or wrong answer, just the fact of any matter ... and one of the challenges of life, at least as I see it, is to learn to accept and live with the facts that cannot be changed.

This goes to the heart of small talk, in this case, opening small talk.

I wonder if small talk is what NT's do to avoid intellectual conversation OR.............

it is how they warm up and need to spend most of their speaking time because they can't stay on the intellectual highway as long as us

I have seen a couple of 'Jesse Stone' movies, a Police Chief of a small town played by Tom Selleck.

Not sure if he is AS but he does have the perfect way to kill a conversation before it starts.

He answers all questions with one word (mostly just yes and no but some limited variety)

For the benefit of Aspies, one of the characters points out to him that this is considered rude (I didnt know that )

It's very powerful and probably more effective than f*** *ff

I've tried it on a few people that I particularly don't like and it works


I learned another technique from an aloof NT

In answer to ANY question, simply repeat back the LAST word of the question

I experienced the one word end of this and I felt like something being examined under a microscope............horrible............

Real-life chitchat between NTs and me:

NTs: "So what do you do?"

Me: "Pretty much whatever folks'll pay me to do, barring flipping burgers and prostitution."

Depending on the NT, I might also add, "...and the jury's still out on the prostitution angle..."

Small talk is mostly used to get to know someone. It is hard to talk to someone you know nothing about, which is why people talk about the weather, because everyone experiences that. If they ask you what you do, then it may give them some information that will eventually allow that person to get to know you and find common interests. They would never know what your interests are unless they engaged in some kind of conversation in the first place. Asking questions is how you start that process. You have to start somewhere, and most people have a job, go to school or do something so that's an easy place to begin.

You don't have to say that you are not working, that's mostly not the intent of that question, (unless you are a superficial butthead who is only interested in someones status). If your interest is in geoscience, and you spend a lot of time researching and learning about geoscience, you can say you study that. You don't have to elaborate if you don't want to. If they inquire specifically about a job, you can say this is my work, I work for myself, however you want to answer.

There was one post about small talk that speaks to it being used to avoid intellectual conversation. It actually can be the road to it. You just have to start "small" and allow the conversation to grow into something with more substance.

That's my NT 2 cents