Does anyone just try to fit in with so called normal people.

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Thanks Cosmiccat!

Locustman . If I could shoot I would have put them out of their misery. Partner does that stuff....aaand he is away... regarding a vet...... it was too late! I figured what was the cause and at that point there was no hope. That is why I knew they would not survive. I made them as comfortable as I could.

Not than, not now, not ever!

^ The lady sums it up beautifully for me.

I've not done this, and doubt any act I put on would last more than a minute before they twigged (and many only have to look at me). It would also consume vast amounts of energy and make me sick(er).

I am still just playing a part when in the company of others. I have kept up the facade for sooo long. Now I basically just try to hide out on my own to avoid the game.

I am married to an NT. So I fit to the extent that I get along with a minimum of pain and discomfort to myself to the others I live with or among.

Let's face it guys: Auties and Aspies are a minority in a sea of NTs. One learns to swim or one drowns.

There is no separate society for Auties and Aspies to live in. We can't emigrate to Aspievania or Autieland.

ruveyn

Yes but we can minimise contact with NTs if we wish to. Choose a solitary kind of job, stay in a lot, etc. Main problem is getting what we want from health professionals and authorities, but a lot of that can be done in writing. And of course if you don't have some regular contact with "normals," the skills will become rusty. But there's no need to immerse yourself in them.

Well said, TD. However, I don't take my luck for granted. If I hadn't been born in the age of the internet, I would've died thinking that my problem was that I was purposefully evil, as my parents always told me each time one of my AS symptoms manifested itself in my behavior. I think we internet-era Aspies are more "pampered" than the previous generation of Aspies was.

I don't try fitting in, but I would avoid sticking out (It's usually not an issue.).

Though I can act... Like an aspie. But with a totally different personality. (Good enough to be one of the best high school drama class...)

I make some minor conversation with co-workers, but I mostly just keep to myself. There are a few folks there I can strike up a bit of a convo with, though.

Why am I still there, you ask?

I'm their best guy, and they know it...I'm always pretty much entirely focused on my job there, and they know they need me.

Of course I chat occasionally with my room-mate, and our close circle of friends, as well as my g/f and her folks.

These days though, I'm mostly focused on business.

However, one thing that helps me out in many situations is I have an impeccable thing for manners, and everyone calls me everything from "intellect", and "scholar", to "true gentleman"; I guess that works out.

If someone doesn't like me, they don't like me. No bother...I'm busy with business, and I'll succeed whether I'm liked or not...cause they will need me.

I tried to fit in with other people once, but I found walking very difficult when I got my head that far up my ass.

I smoked cigarettes to fit in and one or two other things but never will I do it again. It's not worth it. Now, more than ever, I am completely true to myself. Cigarettes and alcohol leave me feeling poisoned so I don't touch them. They've always made me feel this way but I used to indulge because the people I knew did but I found it's always better to do what's best for me and since they leave me feeling tired and run down, I don't need them.
I used to do strange things like climbing statues, but I didn't do it to fit in. I've always been a climber.

I tend to go for a mixed approach - I am polite and helpful to people (at least those who don't push me around or are just plain intolerable as people), while still letting them know upfront that I'm not quite like them, and they shouldn't expect as much. Thankfully (...or not, depending on the day) I have some physical differences from most people as well, so people's assumptions do some of the work for me in "explaining" my weirdness.

I push myself, if I think it will help me to get a job or make friends or something, to do things like go to loud events or be more outgoing that I would otherwise not do. However, I draw my limits where I think that I would have no chance of NOT freaking out, no matter how hard I tried, and make things worse for myself. There's a certain point where the cost of potentially making friends and "networks" outweighs that of being alone with a good book and a cat.

Usually my belief about what makes someone a decent person, that I try to live up to, overlaps with other people's. Sticking with these guidelines does help to keep me on many people's good sides. However, there are things, like drinking and drug use, which most people around me think are acceptable or even mandatory social behavior that don't mesh well with the person I want to be. There are also cases where something that I think is acceptable or even necessary for me, like doing activities with my hands to keep myself stimulated enough when someone in authority is talking to me without me having a chance to join the conversation, is considered rude or bad by others. If something I do is really offensive to other people, I'll try not to do it while they're around, but if I need to do it, I'd rather deal with one person's not liking me than with my own discomfort. Also, I'd never do anything that I thought morally objectionable or incredibly harmful to myself or others just in order to conform to my peers or what an authority figure wants.

In general, I've found that, as long as I've managed to establish myself as polite and useful, a lot of people will look past my sensory issues and social awkwardness and consider me just eccentric. Those who can't look past it are, generally, not worth the trouble of dealing with if I can avoid them.

I've never tried to come across as "normal" because I've never had the desire. I wouldn't mind being viewed as normal by others, but I'm not going to change who I am for other people's benefit. Also, I don't agree with a lot of the things that "normal" people do, & I'm not going to start doing them myself just to fit in.

Exactly...despite the fact that there was indeed a time when I really wanted friends and a girlfriend, one thing no one understood was that I just couldn't "sell out" who I was to do it....no matter how much peer pressure was laid on me to do it.

My now former assistant manager at another job( I worked at a video retailer) told me "girls like it when you treat 'em like %$#@. Listen to my four F's: find 'em, finger 'em, &^%*'em, and forget 'em"

I knew deep down in my heart that I just couldn't do that; I knew it was wrong, and the last thing I wanted to do was treat any girl like sh*t; I wanted to treat that special someone like gold.

Today, I have somewhat of a social life; nothing massive or major or anything, but it's enough...and overall I'm not too social anymore, but I no longer care. I have a close group of friends, and a few folks I still talk to from my home state. I've also discovered most folks just to be too incompetent to be too close to me, in terms of friends.

And as you all know already, I did find that special someone, she's the love of my life, I treat her like gold, her family adores me for it, and she can't keep her hands off of me!

yes. sometimes i just give up, though. im starting to realise perhaps it is not just social anxiety holding me back, but also no desire to socialise. i am getting comfier with myself. today after we had our pictures taken, everyone was socializing together in the assembly hall. i looked at my friend and knew i should probably join her group...but then i went "you know what? i dont want to. so i sat on the steps starig into space for 20 minutes, pretty content. but feeling bad that i didnt fit in. :/