Willard wrote:
I don't think I'd attempt to change anything - as has been pointed out, any alteration in the past would disrupt everything that followed and change the future as well, not necessarily for the better. I know we're just talking fantasy, but even in fantasy, some rules must apply.
Truth be told, there are some moments I'd like to relive, knowing what I know now, in the sense that rather than trying to alter them, I'd like the opportunity to relish them, as they were so fleeting in the moment and I didn't know how important they were going to be to me until much later.
Many of them are now so bittersweet, I know they would break my heart all over again, this time for myriad and quite different reasons. Still, how wonderful it would be to stand in those moments one more time - the touches, the sounds, the smells, the people. To embrace them, knowing how special they are - not just at that instant, but forever.
Even the emotional wounds and all the accompanying suffering would all be worth it, perhaps because knowing what I know now, I understand WHY those moments HAD to be the way they were.
Well said, my brother! As has been pointed out, one of the major issues involved in such a fantasy is having to deal with people at a lower maturity level, while you are at your current maturity level. That would be the one issue that would give me pause in making this decision. On the other hand, knowing that certain experiences will be prized above most others in your life, you will truly be able to appreciate them for what they're worth.
It would certainly not be simply a struggle among "peers" if I were to broach the subject of the intellectual abuse I endured in my childhood. I would have to fight, tooth and nail, for any moral ground I could gain. That is a struggle that I am willing to fight for, now. Maybe I wasn't, then, but I certainly am now. That is the main reason I voted "Yes!"