How does an NT experience anger?

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Reminds me of my teen years all too much. Yeah, I think its more of a human nature thing than an AS vs NT situation as others have said. Also natural to react as you did when cornered, no one wants to be treated that way but sometimes parents don't know what else to do, and they think such confrontational acts will somehow "get thru" to their offspring.

I think its the worst when there's a parent who reacts in a passive/aggressive manner, then things will build and build until there's a "blow-up" moment, and literally any small thing will set that off. Or a parent that you have to walk on eggshells around because they're always on edge.

I had a control freak stepfather growing up with an explosive temper. Absolutely loathed that environment. However I never really got angry about it. I always realized that that was simply his personality. As soon as possible I took the chance to get away. That's always been more of my issue however, I've never gotten angry at anything with a concious. Only inanimate objects. For some reason, anger just isn't something that builds in me against living things. Just... to easy to see their side, play devil's advocate against myself I guess. One of the reasons behind my AvPD I'm sure.

The easiest way to diffuse a situation like that is just agree, nod your head, and then avoid them. Not the most advisable all the time, but easiest. I found one successful way was to get a 2nd shift job in school and by the time I got off work, my stepdad was in bed and when I woke, it was school time. Completely avoided home life that way, and still had plenty of computer access because I didn't sleep at home at night, slept during school because it was so jokingly easy

newp.

Vyn, that is pretty intense there! especially that schedule.
i will try the nodding thing. but they make me lie. it upsets me. i always have to lie so i dotn get punished. my mother said to me today, after having a bitchy monologue at me: "do you understand and agree with me? because if you dont, you deserve to be tied up in your room and locked down and kept in there like soem animal until you do.". i was confused and disagreed with her, but told her i understood anyways. :/

It wasn't actually that difficult Spazzer. I had a job at a pet store. It was quite enjoyable and I worked from 4 to 10, though often staying late to avoid going home. With the sleep through school it was rather easy.

As for your parents, yes it's maddeningly frustrating to have to do that, and just agree with them, but paying lip service will make life much easier and it's easy to just hold your own beliefs. It's one of the drawbacks to your age. Once you turn 18 (assuming you're in the US) you can disagree with anything that say, and legally, they can't do anything about it. They can kick you out the house, but any touching or attack is quite punishable by law, parents or no.

I hated doing it myself, and because I had to do it when I was younger with no other recourse I hate it even more now. I will quite emphatically tell a superior officer or NCO they're wrong when I know I'm right on a subject, even when I have other people telling me to drop it. Even when I know it's a bad idea. But I just find it nearly impossible to do it anymore. When I know I'm right, I'll be damned if I agree I'm wrong. This only applies to fact though. If something is governed by opinion I don't care. That's easy to simply drop and accept that their opinion is theirs, and not yours. I had fact discussions at home where my stepdad would willfully disbelieve facts put right in front of his face. Unpleasant are those memories...

If you've spilled your guts to them in a letter, the fault no longer lies with you. IF they do not take heed, they must be trying to "help" you become "normal" by their eyes. Like finding a woman for a gay man... Not going to happen.

Become hypothetical with them. Ask them what they would do if someone started an argument with them and was only an inch away from their face. How would they react. Best to ask them a few days from any recent argument.

Your reaction seemed pretty normal. I think you handled it well; the last time I was put in a situation like that I ended up physically attacking the person.

i've been guilty of that a few times.

wel, i have to write another letter *shakes* (they have decided it would be healthy to confiscate my computer...that I PAID FOR and only allow me on weekends. i need to explain to them why that is the most awful idea ever..how i get a lot of support from the computer..ugh) maybe i will try asking them hypothetical stuff.

I'm not in the US. i live in Turkey. i dont think i could handle such a busy schedule. i need time alone and stuff, i would just die from not being able just dissapear and be alone for like, at least 4 hours a day. when i graduate, i think i am going to live with my sister, perhaps. that would be good.

sorry i never read any earlier replies, so my post is isolated.
i do not experience anger but i experience frustration.

i have a very low tolerance for external impediments, and i become annoyed that they are in my path.
i am unfortunately "hyper impatient" ( i do not know whether that term exists) and i become disgruntled rapidly when a anyone's actions or intentions block my intended trajectory.

if someone stands between me and the only door i can escape through, then they will experience what they may think is anger, but it is just my attempt to free myself from the boundaries of their forceful expectations. i will not remain where i do not want to be and if someone tries to keep me there then i act in a way that makes themn think i am angry, but i am actually just performing the necessary actions to absolve myself from their grip. i have to get out the door no matter what.


i think i am rambling as tammy is here and she has seemingly gone to sleep and when i look at her face i feel so dreamily sleepy.

edit: i now realize the question was "how does an NT experience anger" and my reply was moot. sorry (i guess).

it wasnt moot. i read it.
often my "anger" is the same. i raise my voice and flip out and push the person away so i can free myself. it's probably irrational, but it's just what happens. :/

I'm curious. Are you Turkish or American? You mentioned in another thread that you are from Seattle.

both. . bad turkish, mom american. but i lived in america most of my life, and speak english at home/school. i would say i am more american.

(GOD why does my dad YELL when he speaks i can hear him above my music and from 3 rooms away.)

Yep, they get angry the same way we do. Don't let anyone tell you differently!

In fact I don't even know why a 'meltdown' NOT related to sensory issues is a trait of AS. It makes no sense at all cos normal people do it too.

Sounds like a healthy and reasonable response.

My parents used to get upset with me when I express myself and cry and then my mom said it was because I was acting like a two year old. f*****g anxiety.

I have a hard time concealing my emotions so I get that kind of BS a lot from people, it really ticks me off.

That is abuse honey plain and simple. Mental and physical. It is not your fault you were born with AS and this is not a normal way for parents to behave. Most parents do not speak to their children like this, throw them against walls or threaten violence. Keep your head down, study hard and get out of there as soon as you can. PM me if you need to talk.