stupidly i came out....

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Oh deary, deary me... Better not let them know we know, eh? They have it tough - they need something to hang on to!

Everyone around these parts know I have an ASD and I don't feel any different now than when they didn't know. They treat me the same.

Better they know why I'm "strange" than to assume the worst of me when I don't interact with them/wave to them.

Yeah, I feel the same way. Otherwise, when they saw me arranging things into patterns, they'd assume OCD almost immediately. Thing is, I arrange things because it's a habit... it's aesthetically pleasing, it's something to do, it makes my environment more hospitable to me. I'm not doing it because I can't shake the feeling that something horrible will happen if I don't. I don't like people assuming I'm OCD because... well, I'm not OCD. (That and the germ-phobic stereotype. I mean, that's bad enough for people with OCD, but dangit, I don't mind dirt and I don't want people to go thinking they've got to walk on eggs 'cause I'll freak out if I touch dirt!)

I usually have to explain my faceblindness when I go to a new place where I'll be regularly anyway, since otherwise people will think I'm rude; and I'm going to stim obviously sooner or later, and that might seem like I'm going nuts or anxious or something, when it's just kind of the default state for me. I'd prefer people to have an easy explanation for why I do weird things, and "coming out" is just the best way to do that. They already know I'm weird; why not give them a logical explanation for it? I'd rather say, basically, "Look, I'm weird, but I'm harmless, and if I annoy you, tell me and I'll find a way not to annoy you," than have people looking at me out of the corner of their eye wondering when I'm going to flip out and come after them with an axe.

I am slowly but surely coming out at work. I work in government, and I have a lot of supports in my immediate team, as well as in the official HR structure.

But it has been 5 years since diagnosis for me to take this step with friends and with work.

There are some people I am close to who know and totally accept it.
My partner waffles between accepting it and calling me a hypochondriac, but he's plenty messed up himself..Basically, he thinks I am not an aspie because I don't exactly resemble the other aspies who used to hang around my venue a while back.

My parents understand very little about the autistic spectrum, even though my mom has a lot of AS traits and there are a lot of traits on my dad's side of the family too.

There are people who I would like to come out to, but I am worried about how they might react.
Some of them are people we sort of conduct business with...but with whom I have a very difficult time being relaxed and social...so I guess they must think I am just an awkward sullen b****
There are longtime acquaintances I have told, because I have a really hard time interacting with them..and I told them so they could understand why I need my space..and can't go though the conventional motions of socializing very well...With these sorts they either don't understand or don't care...Some continue to invade my space and then get angry at my disconcerting reaction...like when I might jump when touched unexpectedly on the shoulder from behind and then bark the answer to a question because I am still recovering from the unexpected touch..
Sometimes I will tell people who I have a hard time dealing with at the bar...if they are upsetting me...in order to try to get them to stop.

need to clarify.. the high was natural to cope with six paid hours of hard graft, lots of continuous bending, weeding, cutting sometimes big lawns, and gemnerally always in pain even before I start ... had been to Yasmin (adore that woman) for two hours and always work hard there .. she's Asian and demands her pound of flesh ....my background is 25 years selfemployed in high calibre technical stuff for manufacturing on a price work basis, ie work like mad to get ur hourly rate.. hell of a reputation ..... garden the same way... unfortunately. It was the LAST visit, knew and loved her Mum a marvellous woman, cancer got her. Doctors were useles.

Working in a 'high' state (no drugs other than five soladeines taken over 6 hours to help cut pain) is the only wat to cope with the size of the gardens, also is the only way i work and also makes it more difficult for the next man . ie would make them look stupid.

My personality is also tied in with that i have actually achieved in my life, so much original thought and problem solving, some art otientated .. stuff that I don't want to go into here .. bit like michelangelo coming to paint your windows.. he has to cos its the only way to survive. my life has never been mundane. I find NT's so bloody boring .. so SLOW. I fly, they crawl. Its as if my internal clock xtal osc is at a higher frequency. i'm not gonna explain what xtal osc is ....

The other point is by coming out .. she was great 100% positive etc and I felt no hidden judgements, it was later at home etc that the guilt and loss of face crept in, a worm in my head, I have to pick up gardening work in that area and once something 'mental' gets out no-one will touch me. So, I think she may keep stumm, ... its funny of all the people i've met never met any customers as knowledgable or able or quick minded as me, always the superior man in every situation yet i'm the jobbing gardener (well, two days a week).

I have realised for many years .. tell one person and u are telling twenty.

by the way .. everyone seems so bright here, brighter than me, are less bright people inclined to post?? ie intelligent

Last edited by ablomov on 29 Oct 2009, 4:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

What do you mean by "bright"? Do you mean

-bright and happy?
-bright, as in intelligent?
-bright, as in healthy and alert?

I told a friend of my from college I had Asperger Syndrome and he was ok with it. We were good friends and he is very open minded so he was ok with it and even thought that it was cool that I said that to him and did some internet research also. Even when I said Asperger Syndrome is "mild" autism he didn't react negatively to it. There are lots of "weird" people in college so if you want to be friend of them you have to be open minded. Also my brothers know that I have AS and they don't bother about the "name" of the stuff but they do get annoyed if my behaviour is inappropiate! However I got some bad reactions also usually from older people like my psychologists or my parents who don't seem to like talking about the issue. If you want to disclosure I guess the best way is to say you have Asperger Syndrome cause most people don't know what it means anyway so you won't get a negative reaction. On the other hand you might get a negative reaction if you say AS is related to autism cause the word autism scare a lot some people!

I honestly didn't have any judgment regarding you being high at work. I thought that part of why you were high was due to the fact that it was your last visit and you most likely felt very poorly about your customer's mother's death.




I might be just naive, but I would hope that most people would see your dependability and the quality of your work rather than anything "mental". I obviously can't say for sure, but I would think that this woman will probably feel the same way.



Hehe....well I'm posting aren't I? I never considered myself a shining example of intelligence.

I think you are not giving yourself enough credit....intelligence is not always seen language. At least in my opinion.

i work from home for a number of companies, and they have all decided to inform their employees that i have to deal with that i have "a mild autistic condition" because they feel that it mitigates my perceived "rudeness" that people complain about.

i usually only talk to them on the phone and i rarely see them in person.

a few times ago when i went to "nestle" (where i have some modules that i had to attend to on site), a person found out that i was the person she has spoken to twice per week for 3 years.
she was very interested to meet me, but i was not there to meet her so i excused myself from her attention in a way she considered "rude" and she complained to her boss that rang me later at my home (after a few days) and he said he had to tell her about my autism before she could forgive my actions.

she was disappointed (so her boss told me) but i think she has to realize that i am not equipped for her world.

i will still talk to her on the phone as usual if she calms down....else i will suggest she be replaced..

people i deal with may think i am a snob if they do not know that i can not feel them.

all i want to do is get on with what i have to do, and if people have to be informed that i am autistic so they do not get too heated up about my actions, then so be it.

who gives a damn what anyone thinks about things really? i do care what some people think and say but it is rare.

i am not doing anything illegal by being autistic and i am allowed by the world to be autistic, so the people who complain about it are like people who complain about leaf litter in their yards. who can they blame? no one. it just happens as inevitably as nature dictates.

yeah, why befriend peeps who dont like you the way you really are?

on some things, other things we are thick as a brick. Typical Aspies. . .

Though some people think I'm looking for sympathy when I'm just telling them how it is. Like I'll say 'it's hard for me to do this because I'm autistic'. It doesn't sound like I'm asking for sympathy to me, I'm just giving an explanation..
It has shown me who my real friends are.

That sounds like a plan.

When you get there, you can set up a charitable foundation and really kick some ass.

Inthe words of Mason Storm (Steven Segal) in the movie 'Hard to Kill'


'You want to be great, first learn how to heal'

hmm. that's true. i sometimes worry people think i'm looking for sympathy. but yeah, i know who i can trust when i insist i'm not. i actually feel really bad when i think someone's wanting sympathy, and they are not. but if they tell me they arent, i believe them.