Do you find you get along better with people with AS?

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02 Nov 2009, 7:05 am

I probably would except for the fact that the vast majority of the people with AS I meet are lower functioning than me, so I can't quite relate on the same level in the same way that I can't quite relate on the same level of NT people. I've met one Aspie who I would classify as similar functioning to me, and it was like meeting someone of the same species for the first time in my life.

I think things are this way because my social skills and understandings are far more advanced and complex.

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LipstickKiller
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02 Nov 2009, 11:05 am

I agree with Shadfly. I think we all just want to relate to someone, maybe even to the extent that we're willing too overlook personality flaws in people.

I only know of one aspie IRL. He's the younger brother of a former friend of mine, so I only saw him a couple of times. He developed a crush on me though, maybe he saw the aspie in me already back then. I just remember noticing he looked as awkward as I typically felt. I'm still curious about what happened to him.

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02 Nov 2009, 1:08 pm

I get along better with some people who are on the spectrum. Others, I am just as awkward around as anyone else...Sometimes even moreso...depending..

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Wikan
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02 Nov 2009, 1:16 pm

I know only one guy who I suspect have Aspergers, but I don't get very well along with him. I see some of the same traits in him I know I have, but we don't have that much in common, but we share the same humour, which most NT's don't get. He can't relax around me and he has, as quoted by Sheldon, an attention span of a gold fish.

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02 Nov 2009, 2:24 pm

I don't really keep friends. That being said, other Aspies get on my nerves often but so do other people so. Mm... *shrugs*

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02 Nov 2009, 3:38 pm

wblastyn wrote:

bakattsura wrote:

Most of my circle of friends seems to have unintentionally filled itself with people with Asperger's Syndrome. I'm curious to know whether or not that happens for a lot of other people here, too.

I've always held that having Asperger's Syndrome, in effect, is a lot like being from another culture, and that being around other Autistic people is like being with your own people. I've been dating someone who also has Asperger's Syndrome for two years now and it's been going really well; we can talk about problems without ever fighting, and just get along really well even when things are going badly, because we always work things out rationally together.

Have you found this to be the case, or is it just my personal experience?

I can relate to this, as 3 of my friends have AS and I have known them before I even knew what AS was. I tend to be naturally drawn to "unusual" people, and evidently some of these people have AS. None of them actually have a diagnosis although one is seeking one, the other is fairly certain she has it but doesn't seem to care about a diagnosis and the other one is blissfully unaware but she exhibits all the signs (constant talking without knowing people are bored, etc).

Another question is whether people with AS tend to get on better with the same or opposite sex as friends? I'm male and tend to get on better wuith females for some reason.

I tend to get along with Aspies better, mostly because most Aspies think similarly. IE; logically and rationally. Not all certainly, and not all NT's think illogically and irrationally. It simply seems to be a trend. That said, I still have a very good NT friend along with my 2 non-NT friends, one of whom I'm certain is also an Aspie and the other I'm not sure, but he's definitely very wierd. Idk, just always accepted him. Strange though... now I'm curious about him.

I also have the tendency to be much more comfortable in female company as well.

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02 Nov 2009, 3:44 pm

I'm an aspie magnet, in school I made a few friends that I found out were aspies and alot of them tended to like me.
My psychology teacher said she knows a girl aspie and wants to introduce me to her, so that will be another added to my list.

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03 Nov 2009, 8:02 pm

sunshower wrote:

I have experienced the same thing, though IMO it has less to do with "functioning" level as it does with intelligence. High IQ Aspies seem to have different, more abstract and intellectual, interests and are more mature in behavior than Aspies of average intelligence. I have two Aspie co-workers of average intelligence and the things that I would like to talk about goes right over their heads just as much as it would go over the heads of NTs of average intelligence, their interests are equivalent to what mine where when i was, say, 12.

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spooky13
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03 Nov 2009, 8:56 pm

I have no idea, the few friends I do have are NT.

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03 Nov 2009, 9:24 pm

It really depends on the Aspie. I know plenty of them in real life, and some I just tend to 'click' with more than others.

I feel like I can't ever have a fully reciprocal relationship with any of the ones I know, though. Either it's a difference in functioning (leading to a mentor/mentee relationship, or distance from the person altogether), their shyness over attempts to socialize, or, in the case of the one I am closest with, seeing me as a counsellor of sorts rather than a friend.

A couple of my closest friends have Aspie-esque traits, though, and I'm 90% sure that one of them is on the spectrum.

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04 Nov 2009, 12:54 pm

I get along better with them. They understand me better.

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04 Nov 2009, 1:14 pm

Every single one of my friends except friends I am often not sure about are all on the spectrum, It was not even slightly intentional!

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