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How common is the roommate phenomenon?

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Metalwolf
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02 Nov 2009, 6:12 pm

beejay wrote:
I don't think I am meant to live with another person...though I hope that ultimately turns out not to be true, because I would like to get married and have children some day.

I am probably OCD when it comes to neatness (a recent development for me; I was a messy kid): if there's a dish in the sink, it has to be washed; if there's cat hair on the floor, it has to be vacuumed (mainly because I have allergies).

I currently live with my little sister (age 26) and she's a total slob. Before living with her, I lived with a friend, and she was just as much of a slob (there were also the issues of not paying for utilities, denting my car, not taking care of her two cats...and breaking my heart). If I didn't clean everything myself, it wouldn't get done and it would drive me crazy; right now, I am staring at an ironing board in the living room with a bag of makeup on top of it, and it takes every ounce of strength for me not to put it up so I can make a point to my sister that I'm not her housekeeper.

I am moving to New York in January, and I imagine that I will have to share an apartment/house; my next roommate(s) will have to pick up after themselves, or I'll go mad.
I think you are meant to live with someone, it's just you ended up with someone who doesn't appear to be considerate of your feelings. What you have described would drive many people nuts, and you seem to have the strength to keep from letting lose on her in anger. Look at it this way- in January you will be free of her, and you can put an ad in the paper stating that you want a room-mate who is not messy.


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02 Nov 2009, 6:29 pm

I currently live with my cat. We live in a 2 1/2 room apartment (kitchingroom + bathroom + bedroom), the floors are slanted, and my "kitchen" is carpeted. But it certainly beats living with another person. Freshman year of college I had to have a roommate and it turned out horribly. Luckily, she moved in with a different student and I got the whole room to myself for the second semester. My junior year I lived off campus with a friend of mine, and I really believe that we could have had a much better friendship now if we didn't live together, but we tolerated each other. It made me a nervous wreck, though. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own apartment.

I live alone with my cat, now, and it's a great deal of stress off my shoulders.


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03 Nov 2009, 4:21 am

All my roommates were either in college a long time ago or due to a bad marriage where I had to regroup after she ruined my credit. I did it out of necessity and did not know the person. I would NEVER do that again, not that I don't like to have roommates but he was just not nice to be around.



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03 Nov 2009, 5:02 am

elderwanda wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
I don't understand it. It seems to me that 'room-mates' is very common in places like Great Britain and Australia and New Zealand (called 'flat-mates' in those places) because many people I know or hear talk of 'flat-mates' there.

I know there's room-mates in Canada and USA, but for some reason it doesn't sound as widespread--there seems to be more people living by themselves (unless they are living with a BF/GF, which I don't consider to be the same as having a roommate, strictly speaking).

Those of you who did the room-mate/flat-mate thing, did you HAVE to? Were your roomies/flatmates strangers originally, or did you move in with someone you already knew?


The only way to not have a roommate/flatmate is to be able to afford your rent with your income alone. And if you live in an area where jobs pay well, then rents are proportionally higher. I think it's pretty rare for a person to just be able to graduate from high school and suddenly be able to afford an apartment. It's not like on television, where young, single people live in high rise apartments with doormen, or big, trendy lofts, without having to work four full time jobs to afford it. You'd have to be born into money in order to live like that, I think.

I had roommates in the Air Force(because that's how it is), and then when I got out, I couldn't find a job which paid enough for even a studio (one room), so I had to get a roommate. It was awful, because I really need my solitude.

Now I'm married. My husband makes enough money that he wouldn't need a roommate if he was single, but I'm never made that kind of money myself. Not even close.


I could see where having a roommate would be nessecary in SF. I live in Vallejo by myself because I do okay financially but I wouldn't even try SF. If the expenses didn't get me the crappy traffic would.