'The Almighty Email Archive'....am I overreacting?

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I don't see how saving emails is a problem, I used to save emails all the time. Now that they give you a few gigs of space, I don't even bother deleting anything except spam...though I really should clean it out one of these days. Keeping IM conversations is easy, I have a program that logs everything automatically...which is really nice for when I need to remember a link I sent someone (or vice versa) and I didn't bookmark it, stuff like that. Or like you said, sometimes it's just nice to read old stuff.

Even without the emails, people on the spectrum are known to have exceptional long-term memory, so taking them away from him isn't going to make matters much better.

Maybe he just hasn't had anyone tell him that the whole "throwing it back in your face" thing isn't very socially acceptable, and he should cool it a bit.

The good thing is this is incredibly normal, because he was lonely.

When people are lonely they try too hard. We're not designed for dating, back in "the day" (when our genes were rolling in the Cro Magnons) he'd have simply raped you until he was bored then left you to raise his violent monkey-babies. Fortunately this is no longer the case, but this 'weird' behavior is a natural result of him wanting something really bad, so bad that he tries (the only way he knows how) to get it. And he's in that rare, minute fraction of people who actually do get it, mainly because he hid this creepiness.

I think it speaks volumes for his strength of character that he didn't share this stuff with you. He knew it was a weird, obsessive part of himself and he hid it, which is excellent as most people broadcast their weaknesses to the world compulsively. The fact he uses them to be a dick isn't a bad thing; I doubt you'd sat there with your halo glowing saying absolutely nothing back to him.
If you really want him to not be obsessed over you, get him a facebook account with some flattering pictures. Within a day he'll have deleted your e-mails to make room on his HDD for semi-naked pictures of 16 year old girls. Then he'll sleep with them.

Have fun!

^ ..what a warped perspective.


M.

I'd be careful saying that. The evidence might make you eat those words

Well, it was a warped perspective.
What else can one say?

Men who have lots of options don't obsess over one woman, most sex was rape before civilization and people will cheat with younger, hotter people if given plenty of opportunity.

Yeah, it's all so crazy and unrealistic.

1) Men who have lots of options can obsess over one, many, or none at all. There is no correlation in your statement.
2) The definition of rape is a societal construct; one cannot compare modern society to prehistoric cultures.
3) People who cheat will do with anyone of their interest. Such is their nature.

Your assertions regarding his potential behavior aren't even the remote realm of what might be construed from the posts above. So yes, it is rather crazy and unrealistic, though you are welcome to your opinion.


M.

Actually, in addition to being warped, it's simply not true.
The lower animals rarely force it.
"Love 'em and leave 'em" is natural (primative, barbaric, call it what you like).
Rape is more a sickness of "civilized" cultures.

Actually that's all falt wrong.

Firstly, it's far LESS likely that a man who has many options will not obsess over one woman, unless he is ill. This is simply a fact of human nature; if losing a particular woman does not decrease your chances of getting laid signifiantly (and I am stating unambiguously that THIS is what he was worried about. I doubt the OP is so fantastic that she demands obsession rather than mere interaction. No human being is elevated as thus above another).

Actually, I can compare the modern concept of rape to pre-civilization, it's perfectly valid and in the context of what I said perfectly necessary. The concept of clothing didn't exist in a lot of pre-civilized people, but that doesn't mean they weren't naked.

Ironically your third point is wrong. I was deliberately exaggerating when I said that, the truth is people won't cheat, but somebody who is obsessive with regards to the opposite gender is more likely to cheat. I feel dirty saying this of course because I don't believe in monogamy and don't consider the concept of cheating valid, but I will say that it is only in our nature to get aroused, cheating is the choice we make based on that.

In your opinion, Dr_Man - you've provided no factual basis for your constructs. As said, you're welcome to your opinion - just not entitled to label it fact, especially in the absence of substantiation. On the first point, you admit that you are basing your entire argument on an assumption. The second - you can compare all you want, but it is apples to oranges with nothing relevant to be gleaned... there are simply too many differences. And on the third point - those who are willing to make the choice you describe, will choose do so with whoever fits their desires, not an arbitrary definition of beauty. It appears that you are projecting much of your personal beliefs into this conversaton; just remember, those are opinions, not facts.


M.

Firstly, I never labeled it as fact, however now that you're claiming it isn't I'm going to have to point out a few things;

Firstly whilst it might technically be an "assumption" that men with more options are less likely to sweat losing one of those options, it's so basic and observable that I cannot believe there is a rational basis to deny it. The fact that losing one of many is more appealing to the human mind than losing one of one isn't exactly something a sane person would contest.

Secondly, the claim that you can't claim "rape" happened because the society it happened in did not have a definition of rape is completely insane. Rape is actually not a societal construct, I didn't want to get into this but you're clearly unaware of what the definition of a social construct is. The legal aspect of rape is a construct, but RAPE, meaning what happens when one person engages in non-consensual sex with another person, is not a societal construct, sadly it shares a name with its legal term which is why you are confused. Rape is a description of a physical event, and physical rape is not a societal construct because it can happen outside the society in which it occurs.
The error of saying that you cannot claim rape happened in a society that did not consider "rape" an existing thing is quite the same as saying that you cannot claim there was such a thing as gravity in a society which had no concept of gravity. The word rape refers to a group of physical events and processes. Your argument is not only unnecessary and completely off-topic, but it's also gibberish and doesn't effect the point that human instincts evolved in an environment with no rape, which is precisely what I highlighted by saying it.

And on your third point; duuhhhhh. People who are going to chose to cheat will cheat. Well holy cow, did Watson help you with that Holmes or did you crack that one solo?

So by lonely, I take it you mean he wanted sex? Because otherwise the whole cro-magnon thing really wouldn't do much to alleviate "loneliness".

I do agree that it is commendable not to broadcast your weaknesses all around to the world, as so many people are doing these days. On the other hand, concealing the fact that you've been keeping a record of another person and using it as a tool against them is not exactly showing strength of character, nor is it justified by any possible bad behavior on the part of the OP during said arguments. It is bullying behavior.

There's really no call to be rude to the OP. Your points had some merit but that was lost completely in your bravado and jerky tone. Perhaps this apparent lack of concern for how your behavior might impact others is one of the reasons they gave you the AS diagnosis in the first place, as that is how many seem to think people with AS behave.

It's not. Sadly with AS if you're quiet and withdrawn you have AS, and if you're forward and jerky you have AS. If you don't voice your opinions you have AS and if you voice your opinions incessantly you have AS.

When I am replying to a stupid post I use a stupid tone. Not because I have AS, but because it really goes against my personality to give these people the oxygen of politeness.

Last edited by Doctor_Manhattan on 05 Dec 2009, 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This isn't a forum for abusive behavior or insults, Dr_Man - if that is your desire, then I suggest that you seek another forum to express those needs.


M.

I tend to keep all of my e-mails that are from others personally, but rarely ever read over them again, unless someone says "remember when we were talking about such and such"... then I'll go to their folder and try to figure out what they are talking about, lol. Other than that, I have TONS of saved e-mails that I've never looked twice at... just in case.

My boyfriend brings up "you didn't used to be like that" with things from time to time, and it annoys the crap out of me. I really couldn't imagine having him actually quoting me from years back just to... rile me up about it or get me on the defensive rather than having to look at himself. I think I would find that a little too obsessive for comfort and would flat out say that... and he if had a problem with it, then I'd just end it. I really couldn't take that for long at all, and admire your patience since it's apparently been going on for a while.