Something I have noticed
Another point is that the symptoms of AS usually (I think) becomes "soft" with the age (correct me if I am wrong).
These mean that the AS-diagnosed-in-children and AS-diagnosed-in-adults are probably two diferent conditions ("diferent" in degree, not in necessarly in nature) - only the most severe cases are "diagnosable" at adulthood (a person who, as a children, as symptoms of "mild AS" will appear, as an adult, simply "a bit odd"; and problably some of the people who, as adults, have symptoms of AS, in childhood had symptoms of classical autism).
AmberEyes
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Well I didn't at first.
I wanted to be me.
I thought that everyone wanted to be an individual.
I guess I was wrong.
After I was informally assessed, I was basically subtly coerced into wanting to be a "normal", "proper" person because no one really knew what to do with me.
I also felt powerless, particularly when the adults didn't tell me explicitly what they expected me to do and made me feel like I was somehow "sick" and "defective". Deep down I thought that the people were deliberately out to confuse me and my family, and that those confusing people putting a label on me were the "sick" ones for treating me that way.
Looking back on it all, the adults were frightened of AS, not of me but of the label itself.
When I was assessed when I was little, it was frightening for me because most of the adults were either very angry about it or scared out of their wits. Most of them seemed confused.
Only a very few stopped to look at the real me and not the label.
In all, it's been a horrid shock to see my inherited personality interpreted so negatively by a set of criteria and my best traits turned into "symptoms" of a "disorder".
Does 22 fall under "adult" or "child"?
Because I was relieved when I was diagnosed. I walked around with a big, stupid grin on my face for a week. I was happy that I wasn't like everyone else around me, like those people I don't find interesting in the least. The negatives about AS didn't faze me because, apparently, I had been dealing with them my entire life and the diagnosis itself was going to help me deal with the aspects I need help with.
If anything, being diagnosed highlighted aspects of myself that I didn't know existed or paid no attention to. It's made me want to educate myself, something I had never wanted to before.
So all in all, based on my reaction, I guess I'd classify with the adults here.
Yes
Because of that. The thing is that when adults are diagnosed, they haven't learned anything new except that it has a name. When a child is diagnosed, it's like being told "there's something wrong with you." When an adult gets diagnosed, they already knew that there was something wrong, they'd been very painfully aware of that for a very long time. They just didn't know that there was an actual condition that explained everything (or nearly everything) that they already knew was problematic. Most adults who get diagnosed have been going through their lives feeling like they're just defective people. To find out that there's an actual condition behind the problems makes it feel maybe even like there's less wrong, because it's more understandable.
My son was fine when he initially found out about his diagnosis, but he is still young. He found out about the same time he was diagnosed, and I made sure he was okay with going to the doctor to find out and all that, so he was very well prepared.
I think when kids get older though, and don't know that they have anything... some of them don't even know their parents have had them checked out or anything. So when they find out, some of them feel betrayed to some extent, because nobody ever told them... or they realize that it's not something that is going to go away, and that can be disheartening. They DO want to fit in and be accepted and all, but many kids, while they realize they are a bit odd in comparison to their peers, really don't see themselves as entirely different. So while they may just say "oh, I'm weird sometimes", or something like that, they just see themselves like everyone else at the same time to some extent. Once the diagnosis comes out, they know it won't change, they blame it for why they don't have friends, take it out on themselves, can no longer pass things off as just being strange, etc... it just brings a lot of realizations and conflicting thoughts with finding out.
My son always said "I'm just like everyone else, I just do things differently sometimes", until his diagnosis. Now he knows why and everything, and has a much easier time accepting it if another kiddo doesn't "get" him, because not only does he FEEL different, but he KNOWS he is different rather being stuck in limbo with the whole trying to fit in thing. He does have his moments though, when he thinks about it, and is pretty upset because he knows it isn't going to go away, he knows that is what sets him apart and no matter how hard he tries he won't be like everyone else, etc.
I think adults accept it much easier, because a lot of us don't have much else to focus on besides ourselves, especially because adults will act more cautious around you, or will think you are crazy-may voice it, etc., and it's hard to take that type of stuff from everyone you run into while having no explanation for why they don't necessarily accept you as they do others. That, and it confirms that you are, in fact, NOT crazy. It gives you something to work with....
A lot of adults go through periods of "soul searching"... trying to figure out who they are and all, teens, too. I don't think we are much different-some of us may start doing that at later ages than others maybe, but we still go through it from time to time just like anyone else. It's answers to a lot of unexplained things... explanations for things that happened to us a long time ago, explanations for a lot of things that we really just don't look at that closely when we are younger....
I dunno if I'm making sense or not, lol... I guess it amounts to, as teenagers, I think a lot of us are more likely to think, "Oh, so this is how I will always be and no one will ever like me... I hate myself" type of thinking upon realization, rather than "that explains so much!"
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Sorry about the incredibly long post...
"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." -Luna Lovegood
Well I didn't at first.
I wanted to be me.
I thought that everyone wanted to be an individual.
I guess I was wrong.
I'm not sure what "normal" means, but I kind of interpreted it to mean that everyone wants to be normal in the aspect of being accepted basically by others, and doing what you can to make that happen.
For instance, my son looks around at others and sees all of their many friends, and he only has one or two. He tried to introduce me to his other friends last night, but all of them walked off while he was trying to talk to them. I think they may talk to him and be nice, but he calls them "friends" because that is what people do when they like people, not because the feeling is necessarily mutual.
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Sorry about the incredibly long post...
"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." -Luna Lovegood
Yeah, I sort of meant "fault" as in "caused by", there. I also wasn't really referring to anything specific like bullying, but rather all the little rejections, weird looks, exclusions, misunderstandings, etc. Negative, but not hostile, reactions to my social awkwardness, which could just as easily come from the good people as the unpleasant ones.
When you don't yet know that such a thing as Aspergers exists and can't identify what it is about you that might be causing this, you assume it must be their problem to some extent, that it's simply a more intolerant and unfair world than you thought, and so on. Now that I'm older, happier, and better understand how I appear to others, I can more easily accept that these are natural reactions to my Aspergers traits, and don't blame people for it. As an angsty teen, however, it somehow felt better to be able to place more of the blame on a (seemingly) cruel world.
Yes
Because of that. The thing is that when adults are diagnosed, they haven't learned anything new except that it has a name. When a child is diagnosed, it's like being told "there's something wrong with you." When an adult gets diagnosed, they already knew that there was something wrong, they'd been very painfully aware of that for a very long time. They just didn't know that there was an actual condition that explained everything (or nearly everything) that they already knew was problematic. Most adults who get diagnosed have been going through their lives feeling like they're just defective people. To find out that there's an actual condition behind the problems makes it feel maybe even like there's less wrong, because it's more understandable.
When I got diagnosed, the world turned upside down because I knew I wasn't "normal" and I was truely different. I felt broken. But then I wanted to prove them wrong by showing I didn't have it so I tried even harder. I failed and gave up. It was too much work. Now I accept myself and take little at a time.
I spent my entire life attempting to figure out why I was differnt.I was 37 years old before diagnoised.At age 30 I had a baby boy,who would be diagnoised at 22months with autism.My family assured me that the doctors didn't know everything,after all the doctors were wrong about me.I grew-up intelligent and bright,I did not suffer from mental retardation as they had predicted.This is true.I did not talk until age four.The family said it was because my older sister talked for me.She is a talker.My grandma and grandpa took care of me.Ironically,it would be this care that enabled me to hide my differnces,or atleast understand differnces in others.I paid attention to people and actions deciphering and inturpting always studying the world around me,attempting to understand.I lived with grandma and grandpa until the age of 12.I spent my entire life writing,expressing myself verbally and correctly was impossible out loud inperson.I was described as Eyore(whinnie the pooh)and Lucy(charlie brown).Very flat or very emotinal.My son becomes angry and frustrated due to his autism and others impatience.I am able to give my son an explanation,an actual description of autism and how it affects him.I can give him clues and teach self calming,reducing stimuli,I can squeeze him tight,release the pressure and love my little boy.It is better to know and name than go your entire life wondering,"What's wrong with me?"