Bully and friend same person?

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yeah, that's the same thing with me, although my friends don't pick on me as much anymore. Funny, I get teased for being socially awkward, obsessive, clumsy, and often misunderstanding figurative speech and humor, but they don't believe I have AS.

yeah, that's the same thing with me, although my friends don't pick on me as much anymore. Funny, I get teased for being socially awkward, obsessive, clumsy, and often misunderstanding figurative speech and humor, but they don't believe I have AS.

I don't know.

I think that many Anti-Bullying campaigns in Schools assume a false dichotomy of "good guys" and "bad guys".

On one side are the "good guys" that are your friends.

On the other side are the "evil" growling "bullies" towering over victims.


If only real life was that simple!
In reality, things a heck of a lot more complicated than some people are willing to admit, especially with girls.
The social dynamics are more complicated than that.
There are also probably lots of social, cultural and economic factors at play too.
I think that some cultural climates form bullies out of people who would otherwise be "good" because they don't see another way.

I don't think that labeling someone as an "evil bully" helps either side, it just makes the situation worse.


I think the reality is that people are people, and that the system is constantly in flux.
Not everyone likes everyone else all the time.
People fall out and move on also.

When this not liking gets out of control it becomes "bullying" even if the so called bully was "friends" with the victim before.
Some might have difficult home backgrounds or other problems.
Others may be in families that belong to a privileged network.

I've been friends with people who wanted to pick on me, but I think this stemmed from other problems in their lives or down to the fact that they were bored.

Also, if someone has better equipment or possessions than someone else, that person may be tempted to steal from the other person even when they wouldn't have done this had the other person not had the goodies to steal. This is unfortunate. My point is that some good people can do "bad" things if the temptation is there or they are desperate. I've seen this happen many times kids who can't afford basic equipment or lunch stealing off of their "friends" because they really couldn't afford that stuff. If they had they equipment and money, the incentive to steal wouldn't be there.

There's also this issue of higher ranking social individuals "asserting dominance" that never gets touched on in Anti-bullying programmes.
It seems to be taboo that's never mentioned.
Yet this happens in the animal kingdom a lot.
We are just glorified apes, animals basically and to think that we are civilized and therefore "immune" from all of this "back-stabbing" and social behaviour is extraordinary.

I know you wouldn't, but you're also unfortunately not most people.

Am I giving them a free pass? Hardly, but I am saying Amber Eyes unfortunately makes a good point, and it certainly explains why so many are so morally weak in dealing with bullying, and the like.

It's why deep down most don't have the issues with it happening to others that they claim to.

I've also noticed that there's more social "jockeying for position" in crowded and competitive social environments.

For example, two girls could be best friends.

But put them together in a crowded dance lessons training for their dancing exams and they become rivals.

Each one of them wants to get the better medal or mark, and there are tears if this is not achieved.
One is jealous and bullies the other.

Yet, the dance school says that it "Promotes Excellence" and is conveniently blind to all of the "bitching" that goes on back stage.
The teachers think, mistakenly, that all of the girls in tutus are nice friends happy to perform together and learn for exams.

If one girl did dancing and the other girl did another hobby, there'd be less direct confrontation.
The motivation to bully wouldn't be there.

There has to be some kind of pressure (social or otherwise) and/or desperation to move up the ranks.
Some schools and workplaces are breeding grounds for this kind of social discontent.

For the record, I've met many people who were bullied under these kinds of conditions.
I don't want to trivalise their experiences because these are horrible.
Also, I've also been picked on myself in these environments and it's not pleasant.


Remove the pressure and decrease the crowding/desperation, and things become much calmer.

I've worked in uncrowded voluntary environments where people helped each other.
There was no competition.
Therefore no incentive to dominate.
Bullying there virtually equalled zero.

"Good Friend" and "Evil Bully" are oversimplifications.