In a post to the Love & Dating forum, I have already revealed that I have Cerebral Palsy, very bad eyesight, and probably Asperger's. For those of you who don't know what Cerebral Palsy is: it's basically just a fancy name for any kind of brain damage that isn't contagious or progressive, and which causes disabilities of a neurological nature. (See also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_palsy). The range of symptoms is very broad, but in my case it causes speech difficulties ("drunkard's voice") and poor motor control in my head and upper limbs. I do walk normally, however, which is somewhat atypical. I'm still trying to work out how my disorders influence one another, and even
if they do.
Could it be possible, for instance, for someone who was born with "Aspergic" traits, but not full-blown AS, to develop more serious Aspergic tendencies due to an inability to communicate normally with parents and peers in early childhood? I feel that since I had very little "normal" interaction with other children till I was about 7 or 8, I've never had a chance to pick up all the subtle body language rules that ordinary kids just learn by playing and having fun together. Eye contact especially still eludes me completely. Besides not being able to hold my head still enough, I just haven't got a clue when to look someone in the eye and for how long.
All this has caused me to withdraw socially, since I'm not accepted anywhere really, tolerated at most. Fortunately I have a few friends who see me for who I really am, and I'm grateful for that, but I never will be a very social person I'm afraid. This relative isolation has conditioned me to pursue not social interaction, like other people, but peculiar, obsession-like hobbies, which seem to rotate in my affections. I've had a few "chess phases", for example, in which I didn't do much else than play online chess for hours. Music is sort of a constant obsession - I can basically listen to favorite music (such as Bach) all day, without being bored. Other hobbies are: reading books, browsing Wikipedia and just following links randomly, writing poetry, composing music. In between hobbies I usually worry about my situation and post to forums such as this one.
Thanks for hearing me out. Sharing your thoughts is much appreciated. People have been, for the most part, helpful and friendly here. What a wonderful place this is!
Cerebral Palsy is sometimes discussed along with a list of associated conditions which include:
where there are all sorts of observable or reported cognition and perception challenges, however, in many cases standard CT scans and MRI scans are read as normal.
Minor glitches in areas such as vision, hearing, sustaining attention, speech and so on can create all sorts of subtle yet real communication challenges/social interaction challenges in everyday life. That's my understanding.
29 Dec 2009, 2:26 am
