How did you play as a child?

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I lined them up, I made them "walk", I had then "interact" with each other. I acted out the scenes from the movie with them. I played school with them. I would only play with other kids if they did extactaly what I said. My mom would sometimes arrange playdates for me and the little sisters of my brothers' girlfriends. My mom says I got along really well with this little girl named Carly and my cousin Kayleigh. It's because they were total pushovers.

My son is exactly the same. Although he does play outside. As an infant he had absolutely no interest in the kind of play you mention. He did however love the our fish identification book and he did love videos - often the same over and over again. He likes to watch nature documentaries, science shows and factual programs on tv. He also likes childrens shows, but he likes to watch and is most comfortable playing one on one, or with two other boys he has known since age one at daycare.
We would have children over for him from daycare and it would be a case of parallel play.

This has changed a bit as he has matured.
He has friends now, but some of his ways of playing with them are sometimes a little out of the norm.
He has many traits, but does not have a full AS dx.


In my own case, I grew up as one of 8 children in a rather eccentric household. I felt best with one other child at a time. I still struggle to follow things in groups. At school I had one friend at a time, was accepted by the "brainiac girls" group until about age 9, where I began to struggle greatly with the increasing complexities of girls and social dynamics. At this time I became oppositionally defiant (was caught smoking at school at this age - those poor little lungs) and from then on, I became increasingly withdrawn, difficult and all over the place. I would still have a couple for friends - usually problem kids who latched on to me (I was more or less sexually abused by two of these kids) and I lived in a state of fear and confusion that got even worse in adolescence.

My suggestion with your son:
Seek out understanding parents of children in your son's daycare or school. Seek out the people who are less judgemental and more inclusive and embracing of diversity. Try to develop some activities with these families.

Find out what your child DOES like. There may be some things that you are not yet aware of that he has a tendency towards. Foster these. Allow other children to come over but do not FORCE him to play with them. Allow for parallel play - where he does his thing but gets used to the proximity of other children - who may be scary for him because they are so changeable and dynamic. This is what we wold do with our son and we didn't even know why this was the case.

Remember also, as parents who come to terms with seeing ASD in their child's makeup, be aware that you can never turn your child into the NT norm. Allow him the joy of being himself. Allow him the joy of his ASD. As hard as ti can be, it can also be wonderful. He needs your support to learn to feel truly ok in himself. You will have grief because he is not what you expected. But it is important to move through that phase and then go on to embracing who he is and what he is so his self-esteem is intact and healthy and as good as it can be. Try not to project your own grief onto him.

My greatest regret with my own upbringing is that ASD dx'es were not even around, in my day. I wish I had had the fortune of parents who took note of my issues, cared enough to do something to help me love who I was, and encouraged me earlier with my special interest, rather than berating me for being a little different from the usual girl. If I had received that, the course of my life would have been VERY different.

On my own, with a ton of Legos and sticklebricks I never put away.

I did not want to play much during certain phases of my childhood. I played certain very specific imaginary games (on my own and occasionally with my younger sister) and was ONLY interested in those specific games. At other times I had one doll or new toy that was the only thing in the world that would interest me. Sometimes it was one book that I would read over and over again my mother was likewise concerned about my lack of interest in play/the outside world. I did become interested in a wider variety of things as I got older. I still have somewhat more narrow interests, but I became more enthusiastic about things and generally much less lacklustre as I got older. =)

Thanks for all of the input and ideas. I have always used his special interest in car makes and models to work on his conversational skills and I think it was very helpful. For a while he was really into "Cars the Movie" which was great because it gave us something to talk about. He watched that movie over and over until he burned himself out! LOL! He is now into "Blue's Clues" so we have gotten him the little stuffed animal characters.

I forgot to mention that he does love to draw even though he draws the same things over and over. I have really used drawing with him to encourage his communication skills. He loves music too, so I am taking him to a music class with other kids his age. He only has 2 little playmates who are my friends kids and a year younger. They are accepting of him now, but he doesn't really play with them much. I try to get him together with them when I can.

I guess after reading the posts and thinking about it, he may not play the typical way, but he does interact with me and other adults pretty well. He loves tickling and making us laugh with words and silly things that he says. I guess it is just an adjustment that I have to accept that he may not play like the other kids. I just thought it would be interesting to hear from others what their experience has been!

Thanks again!

^I used to draw the same exact image over and over. It was the only thing I ever drew. It seems so strange to me now. I didn't learn that I had artistic talent until I was sixteen.

Thanks Meadow, that gives me encouragement. My son is totally fascinated with churches. Even before he was 2 years old, when we would pass a church, he would get very excited. Then around 3.5 years old, I noticed that he was drawing a church with a steeple. He would do it over and over, and now the church drawings are getting a bit more elaborate. Whenever we pass churches now, he asks me what the name of the church is, and he remembers the names of ones we passed quite a while ago! At school, they are trying to encourage him to add to his church drawings by putting a tree or something else in the picture. Who knows maybe he will become an artist of churches!

It's interest Angelbear. I didn't have access much to paper materials until I was seven and eight years old but at that time I only ever drew a lady in a fifteenth or sixteenth century type gown with all the elaborate details. I don't know where I would have seen something like it with the puffed sides and ornamental characters and details on it. I also, like your son, had a fantastic memory. In kindergarten and first grade I would hear a fairytale story that was read to the entire class and I would go home and recite the entire story word for word and had gathered quite a number of stories that way which I would then recite over and over to my younger siblings. I didn't talk much outside of these sorts of activities and mimicking things I would hear adults say. It all seems very mysterious in many ways.

edit: I may have seen such a gown in one of the fairytale pictures perhaps but the stories I knew verbatim were Hansel and Gretal, Jack and the Bean Stalk, The Three Bears, Little Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs. I believe that's it. I also would hear a song on the radio and know all the words by the second time I'd hear the song. I remember my father looking back at me in the car in amazement one time because I was able to do that. I remember a little about how my mind would gather and memorize in a sequential manner.

Last edited by Meadow on 15 Jan 2010, 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I played with my toys the same way over and over growing up. I played with them the normal way but it was the same rituals. I would also line things up and play with them. My play got more spontaneous as I got older. I am one of those aspies who did pretend play.

I also built things out of blocks, tinker toys, Lincoln logs, Mega Blocks and I played with Legos a little bit. Then I would do pretend play with it. I used to do floor plans on my Lite Brite.

I don't know how else to describe my play. Here is one example I did, I would line up all my Polly Pocket people and make them do each thing in my Polly Pocket I had out. I did the same with my brothers cars and had them do their own thing and rotate when I be playing with their set.

When I was little, I would iron all my clothes. I also pushed my doll around in a stroller or buggy I had. Rocked my doll to sleep. I also used to take outfits off my Barbie dolls and put new outfits on them and take them off again and put a new pair on. I always loved putting clothes on dolls and taking them off and putting on different outfits. I also acted out scenes with my dolls from movies or reality. When Rugrats was my favorite TV show, I pretended Stacie was Angelica and the babies were the babies.

My mom also played with me in my early years so that probably helped my imagination and it got more spontaneous. I've seen videos of me pouring out my Legos and putting them back in the container never building with them. I seemed to only play with things I could do with my hands such as Play Doh, my toy Piano where I could just pound on the keys. Pushing a toy car back and forth and I can remember putting my little people on the Merry Go Around and spin it and watch the people fly off and I used to spin the thing anyway without them on. I also played with the little school house and I would line the people up and have them walk around in it. My mom just played with me. I've seen my dad on the home video having a fake tea party with me and I was copying him. It was on Christmas Day in 1987 and he used one of my big presents as a little table for our party. Back then I just preferred getting into things and touching things and carrying my flash cards around and I hardly touched my toys unless my mom was playing with me. I did see myself push my doll around and doing some pretend play when I was three. I also did some cleaning at that young age and looked at my books or magazines or newspapers and I loved to tease back then and get reactions.

Normally when I was younger I used to just play by myself in school. I wasn't so interested in interacting with other children and usually just played with things such as on the school railings.

My mom told me I played with cars too!

he sounds like a magnificent little kid.
And you sound like you are doing a great job.
Good luck to you and your family.

Yay! I'm not the only one!

I recreated scenes from 'TheDukes of Hazzard' with my cars.

I used to play a lot and make up all sorts of games. I had a very active imagination and make up stories out loud. I played with lego, action men, climbed trees, building blocks and other stuff like that. I was an extremely talkative child too. I got told off for talking all the time especially in school but I couldn't help it coz I got bored really easily.

long and alone and withdrawn. Very comfortable for my mum