I lack identity (ego perhaps) but I wouldn't say it means chameleon-like because that suggests you can take on someone else's ego or identity and I wouldn't know how to do that either. I can't be anyone other than myself which is someone who seems to lack a sufficient sense of personal identity. It does make it hard to go out there and sell oneself in a public market or be believable without a sufficient sense of identity. I have been able to develop good self-esteem through effective use of my skills and capabilities but still lack any sense of identity, which seems to be needed when dealing with worldly affairs and people. Likewise, I seem to come off as someone who either lacks self-worth or self-esteem or someone who is pompous, acting or putting on a sense of value rather than truly owning it. People never really know how to take me and I have become more reclusive as the years, people and life have worn me down that way. People accuse me of being either "stuck up" or someone with a "silver spoon" in their mouth. Little do they know and I'm equally unable to advocate or stand up for myself, verbally, as a means to even explain.
26 Jan 2010, 1:36 am
