A note to explain to people that I am having a meltdown

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Maybe I misspoke... actually I think your description is pretty accurate for me too (except the touching part), though I figured each person would need a customized version. It's just, I am afraid people wouldn't react how you are anticipating if I handed them such a card, it might even make the situation worse.

The place where I could see it useful is if someone does tend to have run-ins with law enforcement, as we've had a couple of situations around here lately where the police seriously overreacted to people with certain behavioral conditions, due to a complete lack of understanding of the situation. Luckily I haven't been in that situation.

I wouldn't hand a card to my family either!

My problems are similar to yours.

Strangers are easier; I hardly ever end up in this state in a public place. I have used my cards only three times, I think: twice on an aeroplane, and I wasn't in a full meltdown state, but having quite bad overload. The other time was when I sent an sms to my neighbour to come to help me (I couldn't talk and was sitting in the corner in the kitchen in the dark and I couldn't talk). I handed him the card and gestured to him to come to sit next to me and squeeze me. I know it's kind of odd to ask this of a neighbour, but he's a psychology student, and I thought it would not be bad for him to see autistic overload in action, so I didn't feel bad asking for his help.

I had a really bad problem with this when I was married, and back then I was undiagnosed, so there was no way of explaining it. The fact that this happened with my business partner as well led to me seeking help from a psychologist, but she was pretty useless. I was eventually diagnosed by a psychiatrist when I mentioned this as a "by the way, can you help me with this too" thing when I was going for an ADHD diagnosis (which also led to my unexpected AS diagnosis).

I have a bad problem trying to get my business partner (who is my best friend) to understand that I need to leave when a meltdown happens. He takes it as an act of aggression and an unwillingness to listen to his point of view. If I stay, I try to become silent so that I will not explode, but he persists in engaging me till I do explode. He says my behaviour really hurts him and damages the relationship. When I start shaking and hitting myself, he says I am being melodramatic. Things have improved a lot, he had taken the effort to try to understand and sometimes now he holds me, but he is usually so tense when he does it that it doesn't help to calm me.

I am so scared of having a meltdown now when I am with him (particularly at the end of the day when my resilience has worn off), that I am planning on getting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, as this has reached a phobia level.

My meltdowns are different from all your's. My mum calls them panic attacks. And when I'm having one of those, I don't want to be left alone. If I'm around people, my panic attacks ends quicker, especially if someone comes and reassures me, and maybe even puts a solution to the problem what I was crying about. Or even if they tell a joke, or some other way to make me laugh or feel better. And I don't even mind being touched either. If somebody give me a cuddle, I will feel better, because usually when people cuddle me it shows that they understand.

I am the same if there are supportive people around. In fact, I have even gone over to a friend's home twice during meltdowns to get help, and had another friend come over to me on another occasion while I was having a meltdown. Once I arrived in the middle of a dinner party, and my friend was OK to hold me for a while, still chatting to his guests from where we were sitting on the couch. Later I just lay there, not talking much at first, and they were quite OK with it. They were sort of hippies anyway, and quite accommodating of odd behaviour.

What does not help is if I am with someone who is tense and angry and not supportive.

PS: I am actually desperate for reassurance at times like that, but if I can't get it, it is better for me to leave in case my desperation is misread (which often happens).

I have a MedicAlert bracelet which says "High functioning autism: do not attempt to restrain, do not expose to bright lights". I also put a decal on my driver's license which reads "notice to law enforcement: high functioning autism may appear as uncooperative or guilty demeanor".

I appreciate the idea of the explanatory note as well... I may print something up as a handbill, which I can offer to anyone when a circumstance warrants it.

Charles