NTs are not comfortable going to the cinema alone

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02 Feb 2010, 3:41 pm

I've only ever went to those kinds of places with somebody. I think I would rather go with somebody than go alone. I'm not too fond of larger groups, since I have a hard time keeping up with their conversation and involving myself in it. When there are more than one to two people I find myself just spacing out while they do whatever, even if I've known them all for 10+ years.

There is something about doing those kinds of activities with at least one other person that makes it more enjoyable. I normally don't eat out or go watch movies, but if I do, one familiar person would be nice.


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howzat
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02 Feb 2010, 4:05 pm

Its a bit pointless going to the cinema by yourself really i much prefer to go with someone and yes i am an aspie.



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02 Feb 2010, 4:07 pm

Movies alone? Sure; what's the big deal! I mean, I can watch TV alone and a movie is just a bigger screen.


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02 Feb 2010, 4:49 pm

I wonder if NTs like doing these things with other people because they tend to have so many friends and lots of people to hang out with. I started going to movies, theater and restaurants alone because I had nobody else to go with, so it started almost out of necessity. Now I'm quite used to it, and enjoy being alone. I remember once somebody at work thought it was totally pathetic that I went to see a particular movie alone, and he basically teased me about it. But I don't get that at all; what's REALLY pathetic, in my opinion, is somebody who really wants to go see a particular movie, but won't go if nobody will go with them!


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02 Feb 2010, 5:29 pm

I prefer movies alone, because it irritates me no end when people talk to me during the film. You can miss something critical in the time it takes for someone to say "Pass me the popcorn" - of course I don't buy goodies at the movies anyway, because I'm there to watch the movie, fer chrissakes! Some of my media jobs used to allow me access to large cinema complexes, where I could sign in and spend the entire day going from movie to movie until my eyes bled. Good times. :wink:

But these days, unless it involves amazing special effects that MUST be seen on the big screen, I'd rather wait for the DvD release and watch it at home.

Concerts are a different story, though. Not only can I not hear the other person(s) even if they talk to me once the show starts, concert arenas are usually huge spaces with hundred or thousands of strangers milling about and there is some perception of 'safety in numbers' there. I feel less at odds with myself and less overwhelmed by the sensory stimuli in a place like that if I have familiar company.



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02 Feb 2010, 5:58 pm

I don't like going places alone. I feel extremely uncomfortable for mostly social anxiety reasons. For example, the grocery store. There are a ton of people walking by and I'm not sure if you're supposed to look at them and smile or ignore them or what. I tend to try to completely avoid looking at anyone.. and plus I talk to myself and tend to stand/wander around awkwardly because I am uncomfortable being in the middle of so many people. Plus, people (mainly men) tend to stare at me and/or try to strike up a conversation.

Basically, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb and it is much easier for me to have another person to place my focus on so that I don't look and feel so lost. I am more comfortable if I am on the phone or listening to music or otherwise having my attention occupied.. I guess I feel like then I have a good reason for ignoring everyone else instead of just awkwardness.

I suppose I just want an anchor in the sea of madness.



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02 Feb 2010, 5:59 pm

My mum always asks me to come with her to movies, and when I decline she asks someone else.
I know people that won't go to concerts alone. Honestly I prefer not having to stick to a group so not have to wait hours for a person to get ready. It's happened before.


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02 Feb 2010, 6:07 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
I overheard some NT acquaintances of mine (I won't say exactly who for privacy) have a conversation recently about how they're not comfortable going to places like restaurants and cinemas alone.

Weird, isn't it? If anything, I'd be more comfortable going alone!

Do NTs think like this because they're more scared of going alone, or is a part of their whole needing to socialise constantly thing again? I'm thinking the latter.
There may be also safety concerns,.


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02 Feb 2010, 6:10 pm

Vexcalibur wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
I overheard some NT acquaintances of mine (I won't say exactly who for privacy) have a conversation recently about how they're not comfortable going to places like restaurants and cinemas alone.

Weird, isn't it? If anything, I'd be more comfortable going alone!

Do NTs think like this because they're more scared of going alone, or is a part of their whole needing to socialise constantly thing again? I'm thinking the latter.
There may be also safety concerns,.


I think they're concerned about being seen as an "undesirable" :P It doesn't bother me a bit.


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02 Feb 2010, 6:12 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
I don't like going places alone. I feel extremely uncomfortable for mostly social anxiety reasons. For example, the grocery store. There are a ton of people walking by and I'm not sure if you're supposed to look at them and smile or ignore them or what. I tend to try to completely avoid looking at anyone.. and plus I talk to myself and tend to stand/wander around awkwardly because I am uncomfortable being in the middle of so many people. Plus, people (mainly men) tend to stare at me and/or try to strike up a conversation.

Basically, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb and it is much easier for me to have another person to place my focus on so that I don't look and feel so lost. I am more comfortable if I am on the phone or listening to music or otherwise having my attention occupied.. I guess I feel like then I have a good reason for ignoring everyone else instead of just awkwardness.

I suppose I just want an anchor in the sea of madness.


That's more or less exactly what I feel like.
However, it's not as bad if I've been at the place before.



valkyrieraven88
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02 Feb 2010, 8:52 pm

I noticed this in high school, in psychology when the teacher asked us how many people had been to a theater alone and I was the only one who raised my hand. Although now I'm self-concious about it and I'd prefer to see a movie with someone...no problem before that.



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02 Feb 2010, 9:33 pm

howzat wrote:
Its a bit pointless going to the cinema by yourself really i much prefer to go with someone and yes i am an aspie.


What? The point is to see the movie without all the bother of socialising.


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02 Feb 2010, 10:32 pm

When I was younger I would go to tons of matinees alone but not to movies on "date night". I found it depressing to never have a date and then run into people I knew (with their dates) I always felt like they were judging me and/or felt sorry for me. Once inside the darkened theater, I would enjoy watching the movie alone just fine; it was navigating the lines and lobby that I found to be anxiety producing...and I'm not autistic.

Now that I'm older (and married) I couldn't care less if I'm seen alone at the theater on date night or any other time (which is a good thing since my husband has AS and finds movies over-stimulating.)

Some movies (like Avatar) I want to see with someone so we can go out afterward to talk about all the cool effects/concepts in the film.

As for restaurants, it's pretty much the same thing. When I was younger I used to feel self-conscious going out to eat alone because I felt like people were judging me but now I just enjoy the food and ambiance and don't worry about it.

That's one of the blessings of getting older...you start to just not care about the opinions of others as much.



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02 Feb 2010, 11:12 pm

My view: The purpose of going to a movie is to see the movie and for that I don't need anyone else.

I will on rare occasion go with others and I don't have an issue with it but it doesn't bother me at all to go alone.
I don't like having people sit right next to me, anyway.
I usually wait until the movie has been in the theater for a few weeks before I go see it so it's not so packed.



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02 Feb 2010, 11:22 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
howzat wrote:
Its a bit pointless going to the cinema by yourself really i much prefer to go with someone and yes i am an aspie.


What? The point is to see the movie without all the bother of socialising.

The point is to see a movie.
NT's want to go to the movie with someone because unlike us it's something they really enjoy.
I used to hate talking about what I thought of the movie after, but my mum and I see films together a lot so I can now talk about them after I see them.
After Avatar I told her why I don't celebrate my country's National day.


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03 Feb 2010, 12:05 am

Willard wrote:
I prefer movies alone, because it irritates me no end when people talk to me during the film. You can miss something critical in the time it takes for someone to say "Pass me the popcorn"

But these days, unless it involves amazing special effects that MUST be seen on the big screen, I'd rather wait for the DvD release and watch it at home.



Hello Bill,

It is good to see you here.

Your post reminds me of the things that I don't enjoy about going to the movies.

I prefer to sit in the back row, so that no one is kicking my seat from behind BUT that means that I have to suffer the anguish of being UNABLE to 'lean back' when the person in front is doing so (and thereby intruding on MY space). :D

I won't launch into a diatribe about people (regardless of body/mass index) squeezing past me to get to or from their seat :!:

and God forbid someone should actually be sitting in either of the seats NEXT to me 8O

'Cell phones' infuriate me of course.

I'm with you on waiting for the DVD to come out.

and when did the 'trailers' start taking longer than some short movies for **** sake.

Now I show up to see a movie NO EARLIER than 25 minutes AFTER the 'scheduled start' and I STILL end up sitting through inane commercials :roll: :x


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Last edited by Blindspot149 on 03 Feb 2010, 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.