Do people think you always have to be right?

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My husband used to sing "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong," at me whenever we disagreed about something. He hates being wrong, and on the occasions I have proved him wrong (recently, about how some menorahs have nine candles) he's not exactly gracious about it! (He sulks.) We discovered early on that I argue with passion and he argues with logic and neither of us is much persuaded by the other's approach. However, he's just about the only person who's said that I always have to be right. I am willing to be persuaded and readily admit when I'm wrong about something. It's just that I only argue about something when I know a lot about it and can prove my point.

I know the difference between opinion and fact. I don't think my opinions are set in stone or some kind of One Right Way. However, when I feel strongly about something I will discuss it with anyone. I state my views strongly and I'm not afraid of having an unpopular opinion. I think this makes people think that I have to be right...that's not the case. Sometimes, however, I am right -- and when I know I am (like about the menorahs), I will prove it!

I don't think this way.

When my AS husband and I first got together I thought he was a know it all. He was very pedantic. The biggest fight we ever got into was over a discussion about the democratic caucus. I commented that I was excited to vote for the candidate I wanted to be the next presidential nominee.

He got all bogged down trying to explain to me (in what felt like a very condescending tone) that I wasn't really voting for the presidential nominee as in a primary, that delegates would be selected based on the percentage of caucus goers who chose a particular candidate and those delegates would then go to the state convention to select the delegates who would go to the national convention and THEY would be the ones voting for the nominee.

He wouldn't stop for a moment to hear that I already knew how the caucus system differs from a primary. When I said I was excited to vote, it's true I wasn't being technically accurate but I'm sure he got the gist of what I was saying. I didn't appreciate it turning into a half hour one-sided lecture on the electoral process.

I think in the beginning he was doing that kind of thing a lot to prove his intelligence because he never went to college. After I got into the habit of praising him regularly for his knowledge (which really is incredibly impressive!) I've noticed that he doesn't do that as much anymore.

Also, in the beginning he used to point out a lot how I was doing things wrong. If I didn't do them his way (or the most efficient way) he'd get upset. Like I had this beautiful glass bottle for dispensing liquid soap on the ledge of my sink. It had a tiny nozzle that got plugged often. It drove him crazy and kept insisting that I change it for a pump system because it was more practical. If you don't know about AS, things like that can seem very controlling. Now, if it's not something I feel strongly about, I just go with the flow, especially if it's going to make things less stressful for him. It still doesn't make his way "better"...in my opinion.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that a lot of us have trouble understanding things from another point of view. I base my beliefs etc. on facts and it does disturb me when someone clearly doesn`t see what i think is the "whole picture". I have absolutely no problem changing my view on things as long as the new presented facts outweigh or disprove what i previously thought.

The other problem is usually that i don`t really care about 90% of things, but other 10% i have a very strong opinion on. On top of that, the topics i actually do have a opinion on are the only ones i find worth to debate on, you never know when something might drastically change your perspective or you gain some new insight on the matter. Most people seem to be engaged in more questions, but without any concrete logical background, which probably makes me fight even harder for what i think is true (in hope of actually getting through and proving a point - which never seems to work ).

Anyway people who know me well have mostly accepted this

yes, my family does, but that is because we differ on almost all of our basic beliefs and I have actually done alot of exploration and study on topics like religion and politics and I can rebutt just about every regurgitated cant point they try to make.