Studies Reveal Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected

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DAMN straight. When I was going through all this, sometimes I'd even wish that the kids would do something physical and leave a mark, just so I'd be able to prove it. I only escaped violence because I attended Catholic private schools.

So true. When your brain's all over the place or zoned out half the time, how are you supposed to catch all those subtle cues?

Right... you guys do know that you're not supposed to say you recommend murdering people? 'cause some people might think you meant it and then you'd have to deal with the cops... just saying.

I remember the bullying I went through and how I coped by "being invisible" so to speak. I also had an eating disorder around the time as well as seizures. I think most of my seizures were due to the stress I went through in highschool.

I'm not sure why bullies do what they do. Most of the kids that bullied me seem like they had pretty good lives. I remember one girl in particular at school who had a lot of friends as well as good looks. I could never understand why she had it in for me.

I still have nightmares about school and the stuff I went through.

I frequently wanted to quit. I spaced out a lot, I was shy, I tend to think (and speak) more in a web than in a linear fashion. It makes people get lost when I am trying to communicate and they then feel stupid. Feeling stupid makes people angry.

So I was picked on by "popular" groups of kids fairly frequently. All through school really, but it seemed worse in High School. Every day I dreamed of dropping out.

I don't think anyone could pay me enough to go back to being a Teen. I think I wouldn't mind twenty five terribly though...

They do it for fun or they start hating you for a very minor thing about your personality. When people make jokes about weight, race or disability I see this as a starting stage of bullying.
I knew some people that would harass people online (or troll) and it got me thinking that was probably how they were in school. I have since distanced myself from them.
I had two girls that verbally abused me (not at the same time, in different schools) and I didn't really know why. I didn't talk so they probably thought I didn't like them too, but I suppose race and the fact that I was a bit tomboyish were contributing factors.

I find myself asking why a lot for mean spirited things that people do... I get very exasperated and I ask my husband, "But WHY would they do that? What is their motivation, it does not make any sense to me for someone to do that!" And he always says the same thing, "That is because you are not a mean person. Some people are just like that." Which does not really answer my questions, but it is hard to argue against.

Kids seem to get bullied and rejected because they are 'different'.

Different neurologically, racially, religious belief, culture, color..........................

Is these children bully other, they are bullies - in any way, it is very rare an equal-opurtunities bully who bullys everyone (almost by definition, "bullying" implies the persecution of a specifical individual).

Stalin ordered the death of a very thin minority of the total population of USSR - these mean that he was not a mass murderer?

Last edited by TPE2 on 04 Feb 2010, 4:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

1 - I think that most people who are bullyed at school are not bullyed at work place at adults; I think this proof that the problem are not in them, but in the particular kind of "society" where children and teenager live (unlike adults, who are free to choose their activities and the people with they socialize, children are submited to forced socialization and activities, and probably both bullyed kids and bully kids suffer from that)

2 - I think that it is a dangerous thing mixing the concepts of "being bullyed" and "being rejected" - they are, IMO, two very different things: you have the right of not being physicaly assaulted; you have the rigth of not being teased; but, face it, you don't have any right to have friends.

I think that this difference is important, because I think the best defence against bullying is, exactly, creating conditions to children could choose their acquintaces, and the rigth to choose imply the right to reject. Usually, in large playgrounds (where children could form small groups united by common intersts) there is less bullying than in overcrowded playgrounds.

That really would not work, it is human instinct to isolate the 'weakest links'. and instincts cant just be banished from the species as a whole. It really is an example proving the quote "humans are bastards"

I can agree with ya on this. Other than playgrounds, the cafeteria was another spot, although for some people like me, we had a much better time around food. Most schools that I went to had the smaller 6-8 person tables, so you had the 'tribe mentality' going on.

as for bullies, sometimes they improve, sometimes they dont. Someone I knew from elementary school was nothing but a bully, but once highschool came around he did a 180. His story, he bullied the wrong person and the other person pulled out a knife. Ive also had multiple people confirm the story so yeah.

As for highschool. Jr - Sr year for me was when things eased up alot. I went from the freak that everyone wanted dead to the lovable ax-crazy psycho I am today, your mileage may vary on the axe-crazy psycho part. I had a bunch of friends in high school, but from some of my responses to high stress situations, I got treated like a WMD by some people.

I often find myself wondering the same thing... it's quite frustrating when people behave illogically - I want to know why!

I wonder if bullying is a throw back to our evolutionary past? I.e. it's how those who are perceived as being weak are culled or forced to fall in line with the herd? Trouble is this doesn't seem to have much use anymore, since we have minimised natural selection with our technology (poor eyesight? wear glasses!). Also, since we're living in a global community, evolutionary throw backs, such as tribalism (shun those who are from a different tribe!), just seem like a hinderance more than anything else. So, when we encounter someone who is "different", our natural response may be to firstly feel uncomfortable, then shun/bully the individual. Many of us can override this "emotional" response with logic and reason, whereas other's can't?

Perhaps the bullying occurs exactly because we don't leave in our evolutionary past?

In "natural state", humans live in bands of about 30 people - this mean that you interact with about 3-4 people of your age, not with a class of 25 pupils and an entire school of 100-300 pupils.

And you spend most of your time huntig and/or fighting with other bands.

Now, in the civilised world, humans interact with much more people than we are "pre-programmed" to emphatize and we don't have a "useful" way of using our hunter/warrior instincts - bullying is the escape.

Note that bullying is usually more intense at pre-teen/teenage years, when: a) you have very few things to do (teens are older enough to play, but younger enough to do real things); and b) you live in groups bigger than in childhood or in adulthood.

My personal experience - my elementary school was violent, with fights in the playground (with stones) between several groups (sometimes, one of us wento to the hospital with a broken head); however, bullying was almost inexistent. It is only when I went to junior high (were there was nothing similar to "playground fights") that bullying begin.

this is a logical basis on why i am starting to feel that those who function that way need to be 'awakened' but as stated, doubt it will happen, because of human nature/humans are bastards.