I don't get the whole girls/women "blend in stuff!"

Post Reply New Topic

I try so hard to blend in but I must have a sign on my forehead that says NOTICE ME because even in a crowded classroom, it's like professors have radar and they zoom in on me and always call on me or try to talk to me which makes me feel very nervous. Even at the bank or stores or anywhere it's like people just sense I want to be left alone and make it their mission to not leave me alone.

If someone is going to do something clumsy or stupid, it will be me, even if I am trying my hardest not to do something goofy. I'm the one who will knock over a bottle of water and spill it everywhere, I'm the one who will trip over someones purse or bag in the floor, I'm the one who will electrocute myself accidentally in a room full of strangers, I'm the one that will say something stupid. I think I am cursed! lol

So I am thinking maybe I need to stop TRYING to blend in, and quit worrying so much and go with the flow. It's getting exhausting trying to prevent myself from doing or saying something stupid.

I only learned to blend in a bit as an adult. As a child and teen, I will admit, things like brushing my hair didn't occur to me. I dressed the way I wanted, and often had people staring at me. I didn't notice the last part, but was often told it by friends/family.

As an adult, I now dress to blend in, style my hair, and wear makeup. I hate it all, though... I'm not sure how well I blend in socially.

I have found it virtually impossible to blend in ever since I was a child...in different ways at different times...when I was really small, it was my androgyny and lack of boundaries....when I was a little older it was my oblivion..my constant reacting to sensory issues...my bad hygiene and inability to dress myself decently....as a teen..I developed a bizarre and non-conformist sense of asthetics..and still oblivious to boundaries would do stuff like sing loudly in public and skip instead of walk...my adulthood is an extension of my teens...Even when I try to dress "nicely" it is impossible not to look at least somewhat like a thrift store gypsy...and frankly, "conservative clothes appall me....In public...I am either very standoffish and and I hide behind my partner..or i am really spazzy and goofy and i pace around alot..my spatial issues make me frequently almost bump into things and people..plus odd gait/posture/voice

so yeah..hard to blend in..