Non-informative conversations?

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It is not simply Aspie versus other. I first heard about "phatic communication" - the bonding stuff - years ago from a course my ex was taking and I had to learn - mild symbiosis. I was jorrified. I had not noticed it. Yes, people say a lot of empty stuff - but I had not realized that for some people almost all conversation is the boding phatic kind. Which, flattering or nay, I immediately linked to primate grooming behavior.

You meet a lot of decidely unAspie types whose conversation is mostly content. I have - got on pretty well with a lot of them.

Turns out, the Beatles made a song, and the first line is good:

Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it just to reach you Julia.

Once, I was fortunate enough to have a friend who decided to talk with me about…absolutely nothing!

It was all about social bonding.
She was very smiley and chatty.
She wanted to know exactly how I was and what was going on in my life.

The “girl talk” experience was very much like eating candyfloss.
There wasn’t much substance to our conversation.
Her kind words were “melt in the mouth”.
They were saccharine and tinged a bright feminine pink.

For a while, it was like being surrounded by a dreamy fluffy cloud, away from the humdrum of daily existence. The warmth and friendliness was comforting like cotton wool.

It was a light and soft feeling, like a feather boa around the soul.
It made me feel wanted and appreciated.
It was quite pleasant, but it’s not something that I could do everyday.

It was happiness, but not in the same way that completing a puzzle by yourself is satisfying.

It was a different kind of happiness altogether and one that I’d rarely experienced.

Going back to the candyfloss analogy, I find that this kind of “small talk” is good as a treat, but I find that it becomes much too “emotionally loaded” and too “sickly sweet” if I try to sustain it for any length of time.

I can understand why some girls and women can become addicted to the emotional “sugar rush” that “girl talk” provides. I can also sort of understand why gossip can be so hurtful and addictive for girls. Many girls’ lives seem to revolve around relationships. I can kind of appreciate why if a girl lost a friend through gossip, her life would “fall apart”. It's all about connecting.

I’m sorry, but this is the only adequate way that I can describe it.

I get bored with small talk but I learned to dance the dance by watching people. When people are around, usually I am quiet and I study them like a science. After many years of doing this, I can tell you that small talk with strangers is because NT's are petrified of being alone and will carry on a conversation about useless stuff just to bond with another being because they dont want to be alone. Isolation, deep in the pack animal psych, leads to death. So they talk small talk to ward off fear of death.

As far as ppl who live together or are close...small talk is like what someone here says is an emotional experience that goes beyond logic and rationality...but also leads to physical or emotional reproduction....which wards off extiction.

Would an NT in a world full of mute autistics die because that need was not fulfilled?