who can make jokes?

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I make lots of jokes, but I can't vouch for how funny they are. I suspect I find them a lot funnier than anyone else.

The jokes I make in conversation are:

Self deprecating humor - If I attack myself first, it reduces the chances of them attacking me.
Gentle Sarcasm - I try not to cut too deep, but I like pointing out inconsistencies in others.
Playing dumb - Sort of self deprecating, but pushed to an extreme mostly to poke fun at people who are kind of dumb.

I generally get annoyed at myself if I can't come up with a smart-ass remark.

I sometimes tell cannibal jokes.

With all the depression I've dealt with my entire life, if I couldn't make light of the world and myself, I'd have ended it all ages ago. Its one of the handful of things I think I have a natural knack for.

I think it comes from the frustration of seeing the entire world differently than the people around you. You either find amusement and irony in the absurdity, or you become frustrated, angry and spiteful.


Or you do what I did and embrace them both.

I can make jokes. I like to have a good sense of humour, about myself.

Most jokes make fun of people and I almost never do that on purpose.

I sometimes make puns or use funny synonyms.

When we get spam calls for blood donation...
Who called on the phone? HUNGRY VAMPIRES!

Dough nuts? I guess they ran out of dough bolts again.

Yes but no one understands them.

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table of Elements because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

^ As long as everyone is posting jokes I might as well post a Chuck Norris one ^

I don't understand a lot of NT humor, but I can be funny sometimes. My jokes involve making fun/satire out of idioms and other ridiculas figures of speech.

make or tell?

I make jokes, I don't tell jokes. I read joke books as a kid (the kind you memorize) but have never been able to memorize and tell a joke well. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and people say I come off as witty. It seems like it took me forever to develop that though. I think I developed my sense of humor because there are a lot of times that I didn't/don't know what to say, and instead of going into mini-panic mode over not knowing what to do I could change the mood of the situation by making a sarcastic remark. I love poking fun at someone and them doing it back to me, making fun of each other.

*edit* Whoops, double post...

I can do one or two liners.
Otherwise, stories, nope. I get them out of sequence.

LOL my WrongPlanet nickname is "Emu Egg" Hey, that could be funny!

I can generally do that just fine, though I need to be comfortable in the social situation I'm in.

Like others have said I also tend to make contextual remarks and use sarcasm allot.

Some people think I'm hilarious and some people take me the wrong way.. I guess my often deadpan expression leads some people to think that I'm being serious when I'm not.

I'm the funniest person that I know but I don't share everything that pops into my head because I know that if I did I'd offend people.

I have a slightly sick sense of humor too and like another poster I am a fan of the dead baby jokes.

My best loved joke at the moment is:

What's 12 foot long and smells like wee?
- Line dancing in an old peoples home.

Sorry if I offend anyone