IdahoRose wrote:
slikk03, I have similar unhealthy fixations with someone. It's my former best friend.
Around the ages of 12-13 we were very close and inseparable, and had the same intense interests even though she was NT. Anyway at age 14, we started fighting and said and did horrible things to each other. Then we stopped being friends for good.
But I was completely obsessed with her. For the first couple of years, I missed her really badly and kept trying to call her and would leave messages on her Myspace and Facebook. I also had dreams about her frequently, especially around the times of year that were most important to us during our friendship. Now I realize that it's been so many years since we last contacted each other that she isn't even the same person anymore, and neither of us are into the things we liked back when we were preteens. So I don't really miss her anymore.
However, I am still somewhat obsessed with her and I have created a fictional character based on her. I used the song "She'd Rather Be With The DJ" by Hardnox as inspiration. In the song, the DJ is a guy who steals peoples' girlfriends. My character is also called The DJ but she is a female villain who uses dance music to hypnotize people. Her environment and costume are technology-based, which is in contrast to the theme of fantasy in the rest of my imaginary world.
Anyway, I think the initial obsession with this woman was a by-product of my AS, but over the years it has developed into an OCD-type thing. This is because I don't really want to think about her anymore but I'm afraid to move on. It's almost like I'm scared to find out what'll happen if I completely stopped thinking about her...
I fight this to. I have had unhealthy obsessions with people since early elementary school. Some of my first obsessions were different people when they had an operation or some type of medical procedure. I still don't understand this to this day. I had a 20 year obsession with a friend whom my family took in due to his bad homelife. I didn't understand why I was obsessed with him in middle school (other than he looked like someone on TV). There was round 2 and 3 of this obsession, round two I didn't understand as well either (other than he became a standout football player), round 3 was due to the fact that he had some successes in his life, despite the surroundings that he came from. I am fighting an obsession right now with a friend from school, who became a public official with some stature after his community was hit by a devestating flood. I just can't seem to move on, even after people have gotten nasty with me.
As was mentioned in this thread about driving the family nuts with persistant calling, visiits, etc, I am starting to learn that it wasn't necessar;y the person that I was obsessed with that wanted nothing to do with me, it was the person's family, friends, or others that they were associated with.
06 Apr 2010, 11:49 am
