Eye contact quirk

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I look at the person's mouth if they are talking to me. I usually only make eye contact with my close people, like my son, partner, parents. I rarely look at people's eyes when they're talking because it makes me feel squeamish. But I will have quick glances at their eyes, preferably when they are not looking directly at me.
If I don't like someone I will not look at them at all. I look at the ground or to the side.

I look at people's mouths also (if I am looking at them at all). It seems less rude / dodgy than not looking at their faces, and also helps me make sense of what they're saying.

When I try to force eye contact, I either become too confused about what I was saying to proceed, or it's like staring at the sun. Or walking into someone's bedroom uninvited. It's overwhelming and feels too private. And also I can't figure out *which* eye to look in. When I watch other people converse with each other I am startled by the degree to which they do this. Do they have to look into each other's eyeballs to see each other? It seems weirdly over-intimate to me.

I sometimes look *at* someone's eyes, if they're an interesting color. But generally when they're looking elsewhere.

I'm very comfortable maintaining eye contact with my cats.

If I am livid and actively yelling at someone... I can make eye contact easily. But I generally don't listen at that point--not that I could.

I generally lose all sense of time/place and what I am/they are saying... if I look at people's eyes.

Or I I am not actively participating in the conversation, I tend to focus on one person's face and zone out... Then when I blip back in, sometimes it's to people accusing me of staring

I can maintain eye contact for three-five seconds max

Those who know me know that I'm paying attention when I move my eyes all over the place

Those who don't think I'm ignoring them