How do you cover for not recognizing people?

Page 2 of 4 [ 58 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

pschristmas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 959
Location: Buda, TX

06 Apr 2010, 11:43 am

irishwhistle wrote:
... I do remember some when I see them but a lot of people fall into matching categories... long brown hair, short blond hair, etc... or I can't remember where I met them which is almost as useless as not remembering them at all.


Oh, yes... I have a professor who shares a lot of features with one of the secretaries in our department. I get them mixed up constantly.



irishwhistle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,272

06 Apr 2010, 3:25 pm

pschristmas wrote:
irishwhistle wrote:
... I do remember some when I see them but a lot of people fall into matching categories... long brown hair, short blond hair, etc... or I can't remember where I met them which is almost as useless as not remembering them at all.


Oh, yes... I have a professor who shares a lot of features with one of the secretaries in our department. I get them mixed up constantly.


The thing is, in all fairness, this has to be something that most people do generally to a degree, surely. If two acquaintances resemble one another, and you don't know either well enough for some distinguishing trait to stand out, well, there you go. I would think this would be so, anyway.

Oh, and I agree with the suggestion that if you make it clear, without offering a reason necessarily, that you have trouble with faces and names a politely ask their indulgence, it should help. There will always be those who think that if you care enough you will learn the names and faces, but I don't know what even those people can say to "memory problems."


_________________
"Pack up my head, I'm goin' to Paris!" - P.W.

The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.


Thom_Fuleri
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 849
Location: Leicestershire, UK

06 Apr 2010, 5:47 pm

pschristmas wrote:
Oh, yes... I have a professor who shares a lot of features with one of the secretaries in our department. I get them mixed up constantly.


I have similar problems when I'm introduced to people in pairs. There are two ICT bods at my workplace called Dave and Steve, and they look completely different. I have no problems remembering their names or faces, but I am constantly unsure which is which as I almost always encountered them together. One is Dave, one is Steve, but I'm never sure which way around. I've got it wrong several times.



Dakow
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 44

06 Apr 2010, 8:11 pm

I am terrible at remembering faces. My parents had some people over, and one of them (Who I met before) said "Hi!" to me, and I probably looked like an idiot. I just looked at them and said, "Oh, um... hi".



JHenry2848
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 56

06 Apr 2010, 9:45 pm

"Me: Hi, do I know you

Him: Yeh we met yesterday

Me:Oh"

That's all I do. No need to explain or apologize for my apparent flaws. In my mind.



Agnieszka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,563

10 Apr 2010, 6:15 pm

Oh my... Sometimes I don't remember faces but rather of strangers so am not having problems because of this often. Once I confused my cousin with her mother and it was strange... I think she might not notice it, but I called her "Aunt". She is just few years older than me and I was nervous at that moment and I really thought she was my aunt when looked at her face. :oops:


_________________
Love,
A


jeweetwelwie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 86

10 Apr 2010, 10:27 pm

How I cover for not recognizing people? Not. I just tell them when it occurs, or not depending on wether or not I've engaged in a conersation yet. (I've had my fail moments... about most noone knows)



Illite
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 38

11 Apr 2010, 3:35 pm

Just the opposite, I am completely fine recalling a face, but be damned if I can recognize or remember their name.



PunkyKat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,492
Location: Kalahari Desert

11 Apr 2010, 3:48 pm

Refer to everyone as sir of m'am.



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

11 Apr 2010, 4:26 pm

I just tell people I'm rubbish at remembering people. And then kick them in the crotch.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


Thom_Fuleri
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 849
Location: Leicestershire, UK

11 Apr 2010, 5:06 pm

PunkyKat wrote:
Refer to everyone as sir or m'am.


One of my colleagues used to work in a bar, and long since gave up remembering names. She calls everyone "chicken".



wolfdog64
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 22

11 Apr 2010, 6:14 pm

I'm really bad with names and faces too. If I can't remember somebody's name I avoid using names unless they use mine. Then I'll wait for a pause (which come often with me) and ask for their name. Then I'll make some inane comment about how I should have remembered their name because it rhymes with "pie" or "chlorine" or it's exotic or something like that. Then I'll be able to use their name during the rest of the conversation.

If I'm feeling particularly un-social and don't really feel like trying to find a good time to ask their name, when they approach me I say "Hey there, Aaron....Bob....Benjamin....Andrew...Jonathan..." I'll keep using random names until they snicker and tell me their name to get me to stop. (I think my record is 5 names.) It makes me look like a clown, but it's better then staring at them blankly while I try to remember their name.


_________________
"You mock my pain!"

"Life is pain ... Anyone who says differently is selling something." - Wesley, the Dread Pirate Roberts in 'The Princess Bride'


irishwhistle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,272

11 Apr 2010, 11:14 pm

Moog wrote:
I just tell people I'm rubbish at remembering people. And then kick them in the crotch.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

There, problem solved, no need to look further for the answer.

Actually, wolfdog64 seems to have a pretty good system going.

But I like Moog's.


_________________
"Pack up my head, I'm goin' to Paris!" - P.W.

The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.


pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

11 Apr 2010, 11:19 pm

"Sorry, didn't see you there." :wink:


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,104
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

12 Apr 2010, 6:14 am

I just say to the person, "So many people look like you, these says."


_________________
The Family Enigma


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,087

12 Apr 2010, 6:48 am

I had to think quite hard about this.....it seems that I hardly ever say people's names to them, and I don't often ask them anything much about what they've been doing. That means that I don't run any risk of calling them by the wrong name or asking about stuff that they didn't do.

Usually I recognise faces quite well, so if somebody I recognise comes over and says hello, I tend to (quite genuinely) say hello back in a reasonably bright way. If I'm on form enough to feel like asking questions about them, I'll just stick to safe material like "how was your Easter?"

Luckily it's not a problem with people I'm particularly interested in, because once they've crossed the line from acquaintance to friend, I don't have much trouble remembering their basic info. And if they're only acquaintances, well it's not the end of the world if I can't remember them very well. I'd hate to end up with too many friends, and if I can't remember anything about some people, maybe that's because they weren't all that interesting to me in the first place. I like to think that the good ones will forgive any initial disinterest on my part, and that the rest are too judgemental to be worthy of my efforts.