Being antisocial

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I've been like that my whole life. However there are times when you have no choice but to socialize. I'd say to the OP to get used to it. Most of the jobs I've had require serious interaction with customers most of the day and by the time I get home I don't want to see or talk to a single person in existence. You have to build up a tolerance to social interaction... It's bad but that's how it is if you go into almost any profession.

I think you're right. People often seem to get really miffed if an individual doesn't want to get involved in their lovely socialising stuff.....I've had my share of that "come on, don't be so antisocial" gobbledegook in my time. Even in the guidelines of an anarchist commune - "....but if in your hatred of Mankind you must retire to your private space, you may do so."

I'm not even asocial......I long for company but unless the circumstances happen to be very favourable (well-known cool people, orderly and predictable environment, low population density, etc.), then I'm better off out of it, and so are they, even though I'd prefer to join in.

The ones who do the cajoling are also usually the last ones to actually take responsibility for ensuring the Aspie is able to fit in with the thing.......so you get dragged off to some dive and then left to fend for yourself. Sometimes I think the cajolers are only doing it to highlight their own social prowess in front of their cronies - "look at me, I'm a real socialite, not like that little nerd over there." It's the perfect crime because they appear superficially to be trying to help, but if that was the truth of the matter then they'd try to suss out your basic personality and use a "no pressure" approach on you because they understood and empathised with your predicament.

But I guess it could sometimes simply be ignorance - it must be hard for NTs to appreciate that some people have problems with unbridled socialising.

An avante-garde musician friend of mine keeps getting encouraged to bite the bullet and go to music nights in the local pubs and clubs. I mentioned one possible venue for her to consider (which favours avante-garde) but she said she'd never go there again because last time she'd felt like a spare part as nobody seemed open to conversation. That made perfect sense to me, as I've been in that predicament myself many times. So I backed off, and I was kicking myself later for not having had the social intelligence to reassure her that I know just what she means. Kind of ironic that the bulk of the population would have had the social intelligence to really help her when she needed it, but their skills would have been useless because they've never known how it feels to be ignored in a crowd. Are the experts really sure that neurotypicals have better social imagination than Aspies?