what exactly separates worldly WPers from the hermits?

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It has to do with life experiences that people have, the people that come into your life, and the assistance that you receive and have access to.

I have had a number of people from family, friends, teachers, professionals, and in the community push me to get out and get involved. Another thing that helped, was that I grew up in a somewhat tolerant community, around tolerant people who valued me for my intellect. Lastly, I was able to get the assistance at a young age and had activist parents who pushed for the assistance. It is probably these things, amongst others that made me the person I am today.

this.

I try to explain that I can't stumble because I have no place to fall, but people think I am being coy or something. I have lived on the street, I have grubbed for years for food and spare change and, as Blanche DuBois says "Lived on the kindness of strangers". When I was younger I could trade my body and cooking skills to live with various folks to have a warm bed and a roof over my head but as I got older I needed something more substantial that I could semi-depend on.
Getting sober helped a lot (and that is a total understatement) but putting myself through college on Perkins Loans and cooking jobs gave me at least a framework for how living in the world was done. After more exciting adventures I now look forward to my 60s with a job I have held down for four years (in May!) that I might actually have a pittance of social security when I get too decrepit to eke out an existence anymore.

I did nothing other than what necessity dictated and I messed up 99% of the time. But I kept on going. If I could have done it easier, I would have, I am no hero. But for me, I had to pull myself up by my own bootstraps because frankly, there was no other way but still be sleeping in the mud in a tent in the woods.

your mileage may vary.

Merle

My mother used to tell me she thought I would grow up to be a hermit because I never wanted to be around anyone. This was before my diagnosis of AS or even ADHD. I always wandered what was so wrong with being a hermit. I think I'm more destined to be the crazy old lizard lady. I think I may already be.

I couldn't vote. No suitable category......somewhere between worker bee and the next rung up, if you must define success by position in the job pecking order, but I don't see my job as defining who I am. The only thing that separates me from any Aspies who can't or won't participate in the world of work is that I don't know what I'd do without the money....if I'd thought I had the option of living on benefits, I'd have gone that road, but they'd soon be chucking me off welfare. I seem able to hold my nose and turn up at the workplace as required, I seem to be able to turn out enough product to stop them sacking me, and I can hardly wait to get out as soon as I can afford to. I admire anybody who can survive happily without working for wages/salary....for me it would be a life of poverty and insecurity and I don't have the nerve to do it until I've saved enough money, which will be 2 or 3 more years yet.

In the free world of social friendship, I've always had a few friends and have only been partnerless for a year or two out of my whole adult life, though I still feel like a beginner in the art of forming bonds that last more than a few years. What separates me from hermits is driven by the intense loneliness that I feel when I have no partner or no company. For some reason I wouldn't wear the "introvert" label that I got from self-administered personality tests, and I bent my entire will to disproving it. The other difference is that some of the people I discovered along that road were really friendly to me, and I realised that there were enough people like that to keep me in friends and lovers without needing to learn how to float in mainstream society, so I simply wrote off the bulk of the human race and focussed on those who in my terms are high-quality people in an otherwise naff world. So the differences are loneliness, stubborness, and luck. And maybe I've got a couple of NT neurones that can fire convincingly on a good day.

To be perfectly honest about my ego, I imagine I'd be able to mark myself alpha-human if not for my wickedly catastrophic depressions. I'm competitive, have the will to excel, and I'm not content with being a hermit, but then there's the depression and executive dysfunction to contend with. At least I've put social issues behind me, though.

I don't know. I'm considered a "normal" person, who gets weird when you get to know her. I'm better at social things because I love observing people. How they interact, their intentions. And I like practicing this, and getting attention from people/doing favours/having good feelings with others. I'm also super observant to how people respond when I do certain things. And I ask friends how I am supposed to respond to something if I'm not sure.
Also, it greatly helps if you're unobtrusive, and avoid being mean at all costs. Actually those points are equally as important. If you don't get in anyone's face, its all good.

I’m not sure where I’d fit into your classification of successful. I have a decent job, pay my bills, but royally suck at relationships. I don’t think working to survive means someone doesn’t have AS. I’ve seen some people make comments that seem to imply that.

Keeping a roof over my head on my own wasn’t optional. My parents aren’t well off and nobody else was going to do it. I had no reason to think I was any less capable of supporting myself than anyone else when I started out on my own. I knew I had learning disabilities, but learned early that beyond parents and teachers, nobody cared. I was supporting myself for 12 years before I was diagnosed with AS.

My interests lead to the job I have. It doesn’t matter how shy I am (I hear at least 3 comments about this a week); my work ethic and attention to detail have made my employer very pleased. Does this mean it’s easy? Um… no! I’m pretty overloaded by the end of the day almost every single day. It takes me about two hours to cool down when I get home. I like this job allot better than delivering pizzas or cleaning toilets though (other jobs I’ve done to survive). I’ll deal with something that sucks any day rather than become homeless and starve.

I’ve only been in one romantic relationship. It only lasted a few months. I think I was 26 at the time. I had my first best friend at age 20. I really don’t have any close friends right now. I’m working on it but I find making friends very difficult; always have too. There is a big difference between work and non-work relationships. People are expected to be somewhat respectful of each others in the workplace. They actually get in trouble when they blatantly aren’t (at least in decent established company). You don’t have to like someone to work with them; you just have to be civil.

I'm not a hermit, though I exist outside of the normal social environment, I simply disregard the "rules of society" which don't matter.


Where is the option for "I'm kinda like Jane Goodall, except I study more evolved Chimps by living among them"?

I said I really like ice cream.

To be fair, I'd like to address this. I've managed to get work and hold a job. I have a couple of friends and can manage to socialize some. So, one might think I don't have AS at all (that could be true for all I know).

HOWEVER....

Jobs - Stuck in dead-end work. I was "valued" because I would show up and could work without being constantly watched. I had a rough time holding jobs early on, but when I realized my passion would never be realized if I didn't grow up and become reliable at work, I forced myself to be more reliable. Sadly, when it comes to being considered for a promising job, I just can't "connect" with the person making the decision, so I remain in dead-end work because it's all about connecting with others, and I just can't seem to figure out how to do that. I can mimic appropriate conduct, but I can't do it with the kind of sincerity that I think they are looking for.

Friends - I've always depended on meeting people of a certain maturity and open-mindedness to have "friends." There are people I associate with, and frankly, I spend most of that "quality time" watching them interact with each other and questioning why I even bother getting together with them at all. I don't feel like I'm part of the group, but I fear the alternative....becoming a total hermit.

Social Life - I crave interaction with others, but again, I feel like I might as well stand in the corner by myself. The more I try to "participate" in what is going on, the more I feel like an outsider.

Partners - Don't have any. Don't have the interest, energy or money to pursue a relationship with a "significant other." I'd have to meet someone very special to expect that they would put up with me. As much as I figure I must "love" my sister and my parents, I feel pretty much nothing for them. "Love" is a foreign concept to me. I can comprehend what it is about, but I don't know if I've ever experienced it.

I don't doubt I'm highly-functional, but that's what makes it so hard for me. I'm normal enough to pass as normal at first glance, but in all the little things that supposedly makes a person "complete," I'm severely lacking.

Is there really anybody succeeding at all of the above mentioned things? Or is it that people may succeed at one and stink at the rest. Person one may succeed at socializing, but have big sensory issues. While maybe person 2 has a successful job, but stinks as socializing. It's a spectrum, what effects one a little may have an adverse effect on another, and vice versa. Just a thought.
Is there really anybody bragging about having it all? I'd like some of the answers too.

Looking closer at the original post, I should note that I am a generally happy person, just not what most people would call successful. Not even close to related.

Hello. I don't have asperger's, but I have social anxiety. I didn't want to vote in the poll and skew the results. Anyway, I would consider myself a hermit. It's mostly because I have become accustomed to it, so it's like routine now and in my comfort zone. Secondly, I wouldn't know where to go if I decided to go outside. The only thing I could do is walk around aimlessly. Finally, I don't feel comfortable. I don't like people looking at me, and I just don't like being exposed. I just don't like interacting with people either. I get nervous. For example, while walking down the street, if I see someone ahead, I will cross the street, because I don't know how to act when I pass them. Do I smile? What if they don't smile back? Do I just stare ahead as if they aren't there? Many times, I have over thought it, that when I walk by them, I start cracking up laughing, or I turn my head and body completely to the other side, pretend I'm doing something, or put my head down, because of the awkward situation. I don't like interacting with cashiers. I'm afraid of a car passing by and inside it being someone that knows who I am.

I ticked the "independent contractor/entrepreneur" category because I am a freelance artist/designer. I am a disabled Vet so I also have a small pension, but I would not be able to make it financially on my own right now. My mom is on disability SSI and she is also a Veteran. We make it by living together. I also need to be here to help her in certain situations as she has physical issue that she needs help with.

I am socially a misfit and have always been one. I hate being out among people in general. It is far too stressful for me usually. I have to do all the shopping, so I make myself do it or we would starve. I also have to deal with the post office because a lot of my supplies and work-related stuff (dolls I have to paint coming in/mailed out, art work I have to mail, etc) come in weekly if business id good. Beyond that I try to be a hermit as much as possible. If anyone comes to the house I try to be a good hostess. My mom is great with that, though. It makes up for me.

I used to be in charge of a lot of people a few years ago- upper management, but I burned out and stopped functioning, had to leave my job. That really sucks. Breakdowns suck so bad. But it puts a lot in perspective and lets you know real quick what you can and cant handle realistically.

I have Chronic Fatigue, which is the reason I can't work, so it's hard to say how it would be different with just the AS.

Back when my CFS was better and I could work some, at easy part time jobs, the fatigue and my weirdness (I didn't know it was a condition back then) combined to make things difficult. Sometimes I'd wake up too exhausted to go to work, but I was so anxious about having to call in sick that I had to debate which was harder, calling or just going in. Then I would do neither one and lose my job. Sometimes at jobs I would also fall apart from stress and feeling overwhelmed and angry and I would yell at the customers. Not often, but all it takes is once....

My AS is fairly mild in many respects, but I do have pretty bad social difficulties. I have found that it's easier, at least for me, to have a partner than it is to have friends. I've had pretty long relationships. When I was a kid I typically (though not always) had one friend, and that person was my intermediary to the world. My partner is the same thing for me now.

I find that as a partner I am devoted, have simple needs and few demands, and I'm sort of naive in my feelings for the other person, kind of like a child. I think these are AS-ish traits that can actually help in a relationship. I can't imagine why NTs would want the kind of relationship where people play games and can't trust each other.

But I think I'll probably be a hermit soon. I don't know anyone except my family and partner,and he may not be around for long.

Definitions, definitions!

What does it mean that I worked through and into the University and hung on - by my teeth - for many a long year - semi-fired at least twice, underdogged and green monkeyed, till I dropped out / took early retirement and now consult out of the home?

What does it mean that my whole life I have sought still retreats and currently leave the compound as little as posssible and then pay for it?

was I / am I a work success or a failure? Am I hermit or a secular?

I know this - those like me I have known either can filter the slings and arrows and survive - to a degree and at as cost - the system, or they are sensitive and are driven out of town.

Interesting thread. It is interesting to find out how people got to become independent and have a job. It makes me want to go out there and give it a shot. But something is holding me back.

Being cautious has held me back a lot. Not thinking I'd be good enough at university made me decide to not apply. Though I've given work experience a try and found out that I wasn't suited to it it's now made me think that I should look for jobs with minimal social interaction. And the job I got was great except they won't call me back.

So, yes to me success would be to get job + keep it + independence. Relationships are a plus.