alana wrote:
Horus wrote:
alana wrote:
Horus wrote:
The only thing that keeps me alive is my non-negotiable self-preservation instinct. It's pretty bad when you actually envy the suicidal.
you have some of the most deliciously dark humor I have ever encountered. That is so well-put, and I can relate.
Believe it or not....i'm not even trying to be humorous here. My way of expressing myself often provokes unintended reactions in people. Not that I have a problem with these reactions, i'm glad you found it humorous
Whatever the case....I think you realize i'm being as serious as a heart attack here.
I only wish it was one of those things I could look back upon and laugh about one day. But at 40....the chances I will are slim to none.
no actually I thought the second part was wry humor. I wish I didn't have the spiritual beliefs I have, but I think there is karmic debt from suicide, or being reincarnated into a life that is even worse. So I stick around, one day at a time. I want to burn off every bit of karma in this life since it sucks anyway.
Well Alana....much like Karl Rove....i'm not "fortunate enough to be a person of faith".
This was the good Mr. Rove's falsely modest and cowardly way of admitting he was an atheist.
But i'm being serious here....SOME kind of religious/spiritual belief would be a luxury for me and I wish I could believe in "karma" or something.
I just can't wrap my mind around any of it though. Ultimate reality to me is nothing beyond what scientific materialism has told us it is. While plenty of my fellow "scientific materialists" may disagree, I don't believe this idea of ultimate reality is such a
pleasant one.
As far as i'm concerned...there are no rewards, no punishments and nothing but oblivious nothingness awaiting Adolf Hitler and my sweet beloved old granny alike.
Life is meaningless....nothing is true and everything is permitted. Except when humans in power decide not to permit something.