Are you sometimes accused of not caring about anything?

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"I'm sorry that you have problems, most of us do... the living onces, at least.

Unfortunately, there are problems with the Universe on scales which you may never even be able to see, much less understand. I am not paying attention to your odd mating display, or whatever it is, send in a wild life biologist for that.

I need to figure out how the structure of primes is woven into the fabric of the Universe, and hopefully apply that knowledge in a predictive locating system, forming a devive that knows it should be somewhere, and waits til I am supposed to show up, to cheat the limits of space travel.

Probably, because I tell people that all the time.

I've been told this before and even my husband sometimes says I don't care about him. I don't know if he is messing with me or not. Then he says I do care.

Same here. I'd just say something like OK and then move on. Maybe I really don't care. I like to think I do, I just don't have an overblown reaction to things like a lot of people.

Only when I don't care about anything.

I think that's the issue. It's not that we don't care, it's that people expect some kind of reaction to fulfill their own needs. They need to feel like their life and the life of those around them is important to everyone else.
A "Congratulations!" or a "Oh I'm so sorry" (depending on the situation) is generally the minimum that they want to hear.

People are probably going to hate me for saying this but it's the truth and if the truth is heartless and uncaring, then so am I because I'm an honest person.

This is a problem for me, too. When you work with people, or interact with people regularly, that means dealing with their problems to some degree. The problem is that most people automatically think to say the right thing, and I have to cue myself to say something other than, "Oh. So you can't work for me on Friday?"

So yeah, I get called uncaring from time to time, mainly by family members. It's not that I don't care about people, it's just that the standard response isn't necessarily going to be MY response.

Exactly, people react a certain way that just doesn't come to me.
Like when my conductor at the orchestra told me I'd play the concert on a grand piano. It's good news but I didn't react and i think he was upset or something. Usually I take the information and that's it.

My boyfriend accuses me of not caring all the time. He says sometimes he doesn't know if he's making me happy because I show so little enthusiasm. I always have to explain to him that the enthusiasm is there, it just might not physically manifest in facial expressions, vocal tone, or demeanor.

It doesn't help that sometimes I DO show visible enthusiasm, but it's typically about things related to my special interests.

I really wish that I came with an instruction manual written for the NTs in my life so they understand how I operate. Actually...I'd like to take a look at it myself as well, because I'm not entirely sure either.

Ahhh! I had this exact same problem with my last (NT) boyfriend He always said that he couldn't tell how I felt and he was worried I was going to leave him (I mean...I did eventually, but for other reasons). This is part of the reason I really appreciate having an AS boyfriend now lol. We're both like this, so we don't get offended if the other one is in a withdrawn mood. If I'm ever really tired and blank, my boyfriend will ask if I'm sad (just to make sure), and I say I'm not, and he says ok and goes back to whatever he was doing. So much better than an NT who asks if I'm sad and then doesn't believe me when I say no... "But you look sad!! !" Ugh.

When I was a kid, my mother would furiously accuse me of being "cavalier," as if it was a choice I'd made or something I could change. When I eventually got a shrink, she described me as having 95% of my emotions "numbed." Anger and anxiety/panic I can feel easily enough, but the rest is spotty at best.

As you might imagine, then, I have very little feeling towards anything to do with the lives of others. I know I'm supposed to have those feelings, and I fake them (as best I can) pretty automatically, but unless it's something really major that I'm hearing about I might as well be reading about a character in a book. Heck, I'd get MORE emotionally involved with the characters in a (well-written) book.

If I didn't fake it, and people could see the indifference, boredom, even contempt that I actually feel... what was it someone posted on another thread about torches and pitchforks?

I was as a kid. By one person.

I heard this all the time growing up. I am really not sure how much was me and how much was my crazy mother. My mother has mellowed alot and we are on good terms but back then sometimes she seemed to really hate me. I absolutely drew a complete blank at the time about what her problem was with me, I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I got blamed for everything and I was split black (bpd trait talk) and just gave up trying to even pretend to care or hope to be seen as caring. Except I had an intense level of caring about animals and compassion for them so they couldn't deny that. They really tried to make me into a bad, bad child. But my brother, who liked to burn insects by training his magnifying glass on them in the sun, was perfectly fine and normal (looking back, he was anything but)

Yes. However, this is not the case! I am often am afraid to show emotion because it will not be considered "correct" by the person(s) on the recieving end. Thus, I seem to not care. Sometimes I overact and people tell me to stop being dramatic. It is more of a product of social conditioning or depression (often comorbid with autism) than non caring.

People have called me a robot or vulcan or have said things like "because you have no feelings". My sister is very emotional and dramatic and my parents feel that if something were to happen to them she'd go to pieces and I wouldn't be so controlled by my emotions - so they made me the executor of their will, like when I was 18. I think my dad might be an Aspie and he's sort of the same. The whole family has always looked to him to lead them during crises.

Everytime someone tell me something, they think I don't care. Well most of the times it's true ("OH MY GOD I HAVE A NEW THE IPOD" or "WOOT, LYON WON THE FRENCH SOCCER CHAMPIONSHIP !"), but sometimes I do care but I have no idea how to react, and I guess it upsets people...