Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Cuterebra
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 361

12 May 2010, 5:32 pm

I read somewhere that a significant percentage of the women who are arrested for domestic abuse have Asperger Syndrome. I had a good laugh at that. I'm pretty mellow and under control these days, but it wasn't always the case...



PunkyKat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,492
Location: Kalahari Desert

12 May 2010, 6:14 pm

ViperaAspis wrote:
CLARIFICATION REQUEST:

@ punkykat: Are you speaking of verbal/mental or physical aggression? Some are meek and defusing regarding physical confrontations, but are very aggressive from behind a keyboard.


I was physicaly agressive.


_________________
I'm not weird, you're just too normal.


ViperaAspis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,083
Location: Portland, OR

12 May 2010, 7:12 pm

PunkyKat wrote:
ViperaAspis wrote:
CLARIFICATION REQUEST:

@ punkykat: Are you speaking of verbal/mental or physical aggression? Some are meek and defusing regarding physical confrontations, but are very aggressive from behind a keyboard.


I was physicaly agressive.


Thanks, PK. I would say I'm not physically confrontational, but can be aggressive verbally/online. Often this is unintentional and I am learning as I go how my tone comes across. I have been told many times on the job how I can come across as condescending or angry via email even when I am not trying to do this. Being here on WP is a large part of my learning process and I feel like I am making progress. It is especially useful to me to follow moderator posts to see how they deal with confrontational users.

I am one of those who DOES care what others think of me (not that anything is being implied by that statement regarding anyone else anywhere. It's just describing me) :)


_________________
Who am I? This guy! http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt97863.html


gramirez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,827
Location: Barrington, Illinois

12 May 2010, 7:14 pm

I've always been considered an aggressive person.


_________________
Reality is a nice place but I wouldn't want to live there


SuperTrouper
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,117

12 May 2010, 7:28 pm

I'm extremely calm and passive, unless I'm having a melt down, in which case I can get aggressive and turn it upon myself. When I was little I took it out on other people, until I was 10-12, but I grew out of it.



Valoyossa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,287
Location: Freie Stadt Danzig

12 May 2010, 7:46 pm

My body products large amount of energy - warmth and power. I can feel tired of light, people etc., but it's hard to make me tired physically. I'm really resistant.

This beautiful NT-world, exactly its citizens, often make me pissed off. When I was younger, I was agressive. But I learned that I'm alone and it doesn't matter if I'm right or not. It's easier when you have some people as a support.
I remember that my classmates were always these better ones. Teachers used to say S/he was provocative?! S/he is 2x smaller than you! S/he is good, nice and sweet! When you are big, loud and NOT NORMAL, you're always this one to blame. I had big problems with people's intentions. I was unsociable, agressive and dxed with ADHD.
When I was teen, I used to throw a hammer instead people ;)

Now I know that violence is pointless. I understand human behaviour much better, but I'm pissed off more often. I burn my energy at the gym or swimmingpool. I dream of making an alternator and save some money using my own power :D


_________________
Change Your Frequency, when you're talking to me!
----
Das gehört verboten! http://tinyurl.com/toobigtoosmall size does matter after all
----
My Industrial Love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBo5K0ZQIEY


Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

12 May 2010, 8:36 pm

Cuterebra wrote:
I read somewhere that a significant percentage of the women who are arrested for domestic abuse have Asperger Syndrome. I had a good laugh at that. I'm pretty mellow and under control these days, but it wasn't always the case...
That'll be the Cassandra syndrome stuff... The woman had a messy divorce with her Asperger ex-husband and now blames all Asperger's men for breaking up marriages and being abusive. She is quite unqualified to make any such claim, and her research is so shoddy that an undergrad couldn't get away with putting it in a weekly lab report, much less publishing it.

In fact, Asperger's individuals are slightly less likely to commit crimes (including assault and domestic abuse); and classic autistic individuals actually several times less likely. Most likely this is because many crimes are social activities, and we prefer generally to stay on our own.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

12 May 2010, 10:23 pm

Quote:
every little name call, every poke, every kick would stay in my head until I just sort of exploded.

Quote:
I've always been told I was and that even as an infant it was if I had a "chip on my shoulder". If someone so much as looked at me wrong I was ready to attack. I think it's because they made eye contact and I found/find eye contact as a threat or a challenge. …
Anything could easily trigger me and make me fly off the handle...
One of the reasons I have such a hard time around other people is because I have to use every fiber of my being to resist the urge to pounce a person and just start attacking them.
I was always prone to rages as a kid and the other kids loved to push me into them. I attacked my mum
But anyway is it normal for an autistic to be this agressive?


I can relate to what you say, except for the thrill of the fight. I've never been good at it or enjoyed the fights I've been in (elementary school + jr high). I didn't wanna get hurt, but when oushed I'd push back. I've always been quick to anger, and quick to hit. In my preschol age and elemenatry school age, I hit a lot. it was at times my automatic response whenever I was in doubt. At 6 I began beating at my grandfather like crazy because he beat me at a game. At 7 I ran after my cousin to hit her in a rage (and ad to make do with ruining her sweatshirt) when she corrected a spelling mistake I had done (I was convinced she was wrong). At 10 I was so frustrated (the result of puberty, bullying and a sexual assault) that at one point I kicked my mother on the leg when we quarreled. If someone laughed at me I just exploded and "went for the kill".

I'm still quick to anger but I haven't attacked other than inanimate oblects since the age of 14. However, maybe because of that(?) I developed another kind of anger that's always just below the surface, always thinking angry thoughts very easily, alqways struggling really hard to restrain myself. Instead of being physically aggressive, I snap verbally and say ugly things or yell at the ones who set me off in one way or the other. A little over 2 years ago my mother and I was driving home. We had bought a lot of groceries and was going to back the car into the little piece of road just before the entrance door of the buiding. In the middle of the road stood two women, one of which we knew well. She knew very well where we live and saw the car. backing closer. Yet they kept standing there babbling. If my mother was the one standing there, I know she would more or less run to not be in the way of someone. Now she would rather park behind the corner than say something. I saw red and jumped out and shouted to the women to get the bleep away. My mother ran after and started yelling at me, which of course only winded me up even more. The woman even admitted that she should ahve gotten out of the way, as she had understood our intention. yet my mother's anger at me, kept me gaving a go at the woman and the more she wouldnt shut up the more pi**ed I got and wouldnt let go.
I'm so effing fed up with he two sets of standards!! :x Like if someone talks to me at the bus stop (I almost always stand there reading) she expects me to pretty much throw away the book and smile and suck up to them. (Slightly exaggerated but not by much, and I probably made myself understood). But heaven forbid that I should walk up to someone reading and interrupt them while they're busy. It can only be either a right or wrong thing to do, and that double standard she expects just annoy the hell out of me and so she is very good at escalating situations.
Another example: I was 18 and had just lost my beloved guinea pig. I needed to talk with my mother about him, so I joined her at the evning walk with the dog. (My father was at home and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it while he could hear.) So out we went and ran into a fellow dog owner (without her dog). I must add that this woman is one who will talk your ears off for hours when she's in the mood for it, but who will pass you right by and pretend not to see you when she doesn't wanna. So she looked at me and said "Is this a bad time?" and I honestly replied "Yes". I wasn't nasty or mean in any way. She said that was fine, and didn't seem upset in any way. My mother's response? Yelling at me for the rest of the walk and not giving a hoot about my needs. But it's never a problem that B ignores us whenever she feels like it.

That kind of different expectation tick me off. I could make loooong lists of other examples, but suffice to say that it craetes tension.

Quote:
From personal experience, it seems that autistic people are more prone to aggression. My mom has noticed this too, and says that it's because we feel emotions (such as anger) more intensely than NTs.

That seems to be very true. And it makes sense.

I know that also my paternal grandfather and my maternal great grandmother had anger issues but I don't know anything about them, never met any of them and have know idea if either one was a spectrumite.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


liloleme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,762
Location: France

12 May 2010, 10:35 pm

Ive never been aggressive toward another person but I would sometimes fantasize that bad things happened to people who were so cruel to me. Like the guy that used to throw spit wads at me on the bus when I was in middle school and call me ret*d. I never did anything to him, I would just get on the bus and try to hide in my seat. I could never hurt anyone though unless maybe someone was after my kids. I used to have outbursts when I was younger where I would kick walls and slam doors....scream! Over the years Ive learned to control or hide that so I dont upset my kids but I did not long ago grab the back of all the kitchen chairs and throw them down on the ground and opened all the cupboards, slamming them. It looked like I had, had a poltergeist in my kitchen :lol:



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

12 May 2010, 10:57 pm

I'm normally passive but I have a quick temper and I experience depressive rages. I worry that I could become homicidal some day.



Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

12 May 2010, 11:03 pm

Well, don't just worry about it. Do something about it.

Either you're worrying over something unrealistic, and the anxiety needs to be dealt with; or you've got a realistic worry, which means you've got to deal with the impulsivity/rage combo.

I've met people I thought might one day kill someone (all NT, but that's not significant since NTs are the largest group anyway). All but a couple of them were not sociopathic. They were simply people who didn't inhibit themselves very easily, and tended to direct anger and frustration outward. Most killers, incidentally, are not sociopaths--they're simply people who kill out of desperation, usually while committing a crime, or out of anger. Deal with the anger, deal with the desperation, learn how to handle them, and you'll remove the danger of becoming homicidal.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

13 May 2010, 10:55 am

Maybe I'm being over dramatic. I don't know if I'd ever kill others. I'd probably kill myself first. The real issue isn't anger but intolerable hurt that leads to rage. The hurt drives a wedge between me and the 'other', leading to complete loss of empathy. Even the people closest to me really have no capability to comprehend. It's beyond the scope of words. I should probably shut up now. I don't know why I'm posting this.



LipstickKiller
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 457

13 May 2010, 11:15 am

I could be aggressive to family members as a child, but hardly ever physically. I was just very head-strong, proud, stubborn and verbally gifted so I was rather toxic at times, especially to my father.

I never hit other children though, not even in self defence. I started hitting back around 11, but it always left me feeling bad.



Laz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2005
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,540
Location: Dave's Toilet

13 May 2010, 11:16 am

Quote:
That'll be the Cassandra syndrome stuff... The woman had a messy divorce with her Asperger ex-husband and now blames all Asperger's men for breaking up marriages and being abusive. She is quite unqualified to make any such claim, and her research is so shoddy that an undergrad couldn't get away with putting it in a weekly lab report, much less publishing it.


:lol: Oh my god, not her

I remember she used to post on the richard dawkins message board. She got into a heated argument with my ex on there. Some of the messages she recieved off that woman were horrendous. Absolute ad hominous garbage. I thought she was seriously delussional with the kind of stuff she came out with. She was so out of it she was off her trolly out the supermarket car park and flying off into outer space with the flying pigs in orbit...crazy woman

*sigh* a world without mentalists wouldn't be fun though



Todesking
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,088
Location: Depew NY

13 May 2010, 12:20 pm

I was forced to be. If I got my @ss kicked at school without defending myself my dad would kick my @ss. I have a high threshold for pain which helped me quite a bit in most scraps I got into that and I was 6'2" 188 Lbs when I turned 16. Now I am in my 40's and still hope someone who is talking trash to me does something so I can legally beat them up.

"Violence does not solve your problems, but it makes you problems leave you alone."
Todesking May 13, 2010



MONKEY
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,896
Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)

13 May 2010, 1:01 pm

I'm not aggressive usually, I'm passive in public. But I get into rages easily and I have a low frustration threshold, although my response to that is usually crying or being passive aggressive than actual aggression. But in some bad cases I've become aggressive, on rare occasions violent when I was still at school (but only very rarely, as a last resort to try to repell a persistent bully).


_________________
What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street.