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How do you handle death in the family?

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ADoyle
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13 May 2010, 9:15 pm

I tend to deal with death fairly well, but sometimes the fact that someone has died doesn't hit me until I see the casket, even when it's closed. Unfortunately, I was raised with the idea that crying is seen as a weakness, so I get embarrassed when I cry at a funeral or memorial service. I've become so good at controlling my emotions that people have accused me of not having empathy, which is considered an Aspie trait.


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pippilngstkngpr
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14 May 2010, 12:47 am

S-P-M-E wrote:
pippilngstkngpr wrote:
... my pops just died a week ago exactly...


I'm sorry to hear that, even though you weren't close. :(

With the first 2 family members of mine that died, I went to the funerals and there were open caskets... and years later I'm still dreaming about their corpses coming back. When my grandmother started her final downward slide, I made it clear; under no circumstances would I go anywhere near her corpse. This is horrifying to some people, but you have to do whatever it takes to cope, and you never know how you'll react so it's hard to brace yourself.

Whatever you're feeling is what's right for you; whatever it is, even the deepest grief, it does pass eventually.


Thanks. I definitely needed to hear that. it is right for me, because everyone has their own way, it's just very weird feeling since I never had this before. So, it's odd. It feels like part of my body has shut down. Thanks. Ill try remember it does eventually pass, and Ill just try to distract myself a little bit, because thinking about it puts me in depression.



cmate
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14 May 2010, 9:31 am

Wakes and Funerals are always difficult - it is an effort just to make sure I have the proper appearance - facial expressions, etc. Not to mention that it might actually be upsetting to me, and not knowing how to handle that while being in the company of a bunch of other people!


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Raptor
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14 May 2010, 9:42 am

I lost my dad a month ago. I'm the one who's had to handle most of the arrangement and that is still in work. The thing is that I don't know how I feel about it or if I handled it right. I just know that I dealt with it the best I could given the kind of mind I have.
:?