It's Not Lack of Empathy: It's Simply Different Methods.

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After I thought about it, you are right, Fernando. I think what I was explaining about myself was actually "understanding."

I just really hate the "lack of empathy" label. People who are aware of the AS lack of empathy, I think, are prejudiced against me, as if lack of empathy means I smother kittens and slap babies, even though I am the gentlest person I know.

I think "understanding" is a good word though. I am a very understanding person and maybe that is a good substitute for the NT empathy. If I see someone crying, I want to hug him/her and say it is going to be all right... because I understand, but sometimes I just can't bring myself to do the actual hugging.

Thats sounds more like sympathy. Empathy is feeling, sympathy is giving a damn.

"Empathy" has too many definitions.

I can sometimes feel the emotions other people around me are feeling, like a sponge: is this empathy?

I can intellectually understand what other people feel, and why they feel it, even if I would never experience that emotion in that situation. This applies to real people or characters in novels. Is this empathy?

I feel compassion for people, unless they've really hurt me or made me angry (what someone here calls "giving a damn"). Is this empathy?

I don't always succeed in communicating my understanding of other people or my concern for them. Sort of like what Ichinin said, I think. I don't know if I misread situations, or I don't know how to react, or both. Is this lack of empathy?

Excuse the epic grammar fail...

right. i feel the same way.

prior to recognizing i have a defect in reading people and understanding behavior, i just thought everyone else was completely illogical, and was driven completely batty by people's behavior all the time. i was constantly writing people off for being dishonest about little things. petulant, in retrospect, but i still think i'm right, in a way

i can't recall anyone really trying to understand this and express thing to me in a way i needed to hear them, which is what i would call empathy. if we can't feel them, well, they can't feel us either. so who's broken? we're different. i think it's important to try to understand people that are different than you, no matter who you are, but not only is it irrelevant how you get there (feeling their emotions with them, mirror neurons?? logic?? listening & comparing to similar experiences? trust?) how could anyone really ever know what method you employ? and why is one more "real" than another?